Vault of the Vampire

Background - 

In the war room, Phillipa is looking over the mass of reports.  Paper is everywhere, scattered all over the table.  We see that they are reports are from various recovery teams who are hunting the authors.  Into this scene steps Ian who takes a seat at the table.

Ian "How is it looking?"

Phillipa "Well there has been progress, but its slow going.  We won't get anyone in time though.  Any options from your side?"

Ian just shook his head.

Phillipa "Come on Ian, you own a games company full of nerds!"

Ian "Bryan does not really let me in anymore."

Phillipa looks dangerously over the report she is holding at him "Who are you more scared of?  Him or me?"

Ian does not answer and instead gets up and heads over to Games Workshop HQ.

Cut to GW HQ Board Room, Ian is sitting opposite Bryan Ansell.

Bryan "Look Ian, books are no use, I want models, more models!  Look how well Warhammer is selling!"

Ian "Yes but we need Fighting Fantasy to do well!  Come on you must have someone."

Bryan "Nobody is free! I've got people painting, Citadel are making the minis, Rules are being written, we have white dwarf.  I can't spare anyone!"

Ian "What about Carl from the roleplay team?   He has done one before."

Bryan "What do you mean roleplay team?  We have roleplay?  But that does not have minis!"

Ian "Is that a yes?"

The phone goes and Bryan picks it up and starts talking about an article in White Dwarf.

Ian "Ill take that as a yes."

Ian makes his way down to the WFRP basement and tells Carl Sargent to follow him.

Cut back to the war room.  Ian walks in with Carl.

Phillipa "Ah good Keith you are back."

Carl/Keith "Its Carl."

Phillipa without looking up "Here you are Keith."

Ian turns to Carl and gives him a shake of the head, and to just go with it "Have  you got any ideas?"

Carl/Keith "Well I have an idea for a traditional horror, type, its called Vault of the Vampire."

Phillipa "What? Is the vampire competing in gymnastics?"

The room explodes in riotous laughter which goes on for far too long.  Nobody notices Carl.

Carl/Keith "Well if that's what you want."

Carl leaves, once the laughter stops everyone gets back to normal.  Ian starts looking around.  

Ian "Ah that was funny, imagine if that's what it was Carl?  

Ian keeps looking around, getting more frantic when he realises Carl has gone.  "Carl? Keith?  Oh no, it was only a joke!  Carl!  Carl!!!"

Still in 1989 and Vault of the Vampire is the second book from roleplay royalty Carl Sargent who writes under Keith Martin for Fighting Fantasy.  His previous entry was Stealer of Souls which was just fine. I am expecting his second affair to be a lot better though.  I have never played this one before but I like the idea of a hammer horror type vampire affair.  We have had plenty vampires in Fighting Fantasy but they are side characters and enemies, we have not had one as the main focus.  Really excited for this one. 

Covers - 

Well this one is pretty on the nose.  It is a vampire in a vault!  The vampire in question could not be more stereotypical if you tried.  At least he is more hammer horror than anything more modern such as Twilight, God forbid.  Although give him some glasses and it could be snooker legend Ray Reardon.

The vault itself looks like a vault but it only takes up half the cover, the top half is just plain and feels like wasted space.  I guess this was an attempt to make it feel underground.  Managed to fit in a maiden though!

The best part of the cover for me is the giant bloody V.  Using it for the V for both the Vault and Vampire words is cool and the blood fits the vampire theme perfectly.

Premise - 

Rumor's of great wealth and treasure have led me to Mauristatia, land of unscalable snow capped mountains and freezing mists.  The air is cold and damp so I am dressed in furs and I am riding in a coach as I start to wonder about the rumors as everyone seems poor.  I hilariously decide its because the people must not have found the treasure yet!  That is some wishful thinking!

The coach comes to a halt and the driver unloads the trunks and bags from the roof.  No mention if its just me in the coach but I assume not as I do not tend to have much stuff in these adventures.  Certainly not enough to have loads of luggage.  Anyway we are in the village of Leverhelven for an overnight stay and the tavern is described as small and not luxurious but the food and wine are good.  The people though are not for talking and wary of having a stranger in their midst.  They even bar the door.  

The place is called the Hart's blood but it does not seem to be a hunting area so I politely enquire about the name to the innkeeper.  This goes down like a lead balloon and he turns away from me.  One of the patrons even turns round and spits at my feet!

One old lady though declares that "Furriner's don't know no better" so I take this as a chance to speak to someone and buy her a drink.  After she downs it she tells me that the tavern is actually called the Heart's blood, H-E-A-R-T.

The patrons are stunned and the innkeeper is shouting at her to be quite.  But she will not be cowed.  She tells me that it is the Count!  People vanish from the village as the count takes them to his castle to die a terrible death.  Tears start to flow as she announces that her grand daughter Nastassia was taken yesterday by the coach and headless horseman.  Then she laments that no man is brave enough to go the castle and save her.

Through the tears she begs me to help.  Nastassia is only 17 and has done no harm to anyone.  A one armed man then approaches the table.  He says he takes me for a seeker of adventure and confirms the old lady's tale.  The count is a terrible and evil soul and Castle Heydrich is a place of horror.  He is a former warrior but due to his missing arm can no longer help but he has some gold put away from his better days that he will give me if I help.  

Everyone turns to look at me, imploring for help with their eyes.  I nod my agreement and instantly the door bursts open.  Outside waits a black coach pulled by four jet black steeds.  A spectral figure is standing in the doorway and he beckons at me with his skeleton hand but he says nothing..... as he is missing a head!

Playthrough - 

Of course we have Skill, Stamina and Luck as normal, but we also get a new one, Faith!  Its 1d6 plus 3. This indicates my purity of heart and my belief in the forces of good.  A high faith score will force certain creatures to flee from me, but also that they are more likely to notice me and become hostile.  

I can only thing of the Wham (or might be George Michael solo) song faith (or the Limp Biskit cover), so every time I have to test I will be manifesting George Michael as my in game charachter.

Well I guess it would be nice,  if I could touch your body...

We get told about magic, in that there might be items that allow you to cast a magic spell.  But do not worry about that yet as you are just a brave warrior who must use your wits and courage.

Provisions are back up to 10.  Must be what the coachman was taking in for me.  Slight twist to the rules.  You can eat them at any time outside combat again but you may only eat one at a time.  Sounds slightly more balanced now.

Next is a warning about afflictions.  Curses or other disadvantages of a sinister nature.  Instructions say it wont spoil our fun by saying much about them here but be assured that it is possible to rid yourself of them if you are brave, wise and lucky.  

I start with the bare minimum of equipment (knew that luggage was not mine).  Sword, Leather armour and shield.  I have a backpack which is described as like a rucksack or haversack!  Long term readers will realise this is causing me some angst!  Which one is it!?  I also have a lantern.

A nice little map on the inside cover as well.  

Skill - 10

Stamina - 20

Luck - 8

Faith -  6

I am a very average warrior, which might explain why I am chasing treasure in this backwater.

No illustration for the start which is a shame, especially since it is a blank space instead.  I follow the headless specter out into the misty night and he jumps up into the driver position as the coach door opens.  Do I want to get in, attack the headless horseman or Ignore the coach completely and ask a friendly local how to get to the castle.  Yeah I am not getting in that coach, I just unloaded my baggage after all. I will go and ask a friend.

What is the chances of that Bear being friendly?

The good people of the tavern tell me that the road is too dangerous and only the ghostly carriage can traverse it safely.  However there is a trail that heads north-east through the forest that leads to the castle.  They tell me to head to the foresters cottage to spend the night but I will need to cross a river.  The one armed man gives me 2 gold to pay the ferryman.  The forest is of course full of grotesque shaped trees and sounds of wolves.  Dawn is starting to approach when an arrow whistles past my ear.  A bear appears along with the archer who is poised to fire again.  Do I want to attack the archer or the bear, make a run for it or speak to them.  I feel if they wanted me dead they would not have fired a warning shot so I try to talk.

I let her know I mean no harm but I have left it too late and the arrow is already in flight and it costs me two stamina points.  She calls off the bear and walks over apologising as she is a forest ranger and just assumed anyone going around the forest at night must be up to no good.  So she is a shoot first ask questions later type of girl.  In fairness she does bind my flesh wound for me.  

Her name is Valderesse and I tell her of my quest.  She tells me the count is a very evil man and wolves and bats infest the area around the castle.  He steals away young women to be his slaves, or worse!  Valderesse tells me it was not always so.  The counts brother, Siegfried, was a good man but before she can elaborate there is the sound of thunder and heavy rain starts to fall through the trees.  She tells me to come with her to the ferry and gives me two meals to add to my provisions.

A ferryman that is not a skeleton for a change!

Yep the ferryman is a gnome.  He says it will be 2 gold for the ride but if I want I can stay the night in his hut.  How kind.  I get asked if Valderesse is with me.  As she is she picks up the Gnome by his jerkin and demands he lets me cross for free in return for her saving him from wolves last week.  She then tells me never to accept offers of hospitality from a gnome and instead to head to a foresters hut further up the path.  The gnome is subdued and as I climb onto the boat he whispers some words and the boat magically goes against the current and deposits me on the far side as Valderesse waves goodbye.

I walk on through the mist and notice the distinct lack of noise in the forest which is very unnerving.  After a few hours I come across a stone cottage with a wisp of wood smoke.  Peering through a gap in the door I see a man dozing by the stove with a large knife in his hand.  Apparently the smell of the food is quite good.  I am told if I did not sleep in the Gnomes hut earlier I am now very tired and must sleep here.  Do I want to attack or talk to him.  Well everyone has said the forest hut is a safe place so lets talk first.

Making a loud cough he wakes up and is a bit unsure but offers me some of the food which restores 4 stamina as a tell him what I am up to.  His name is Barandrum and is a retired warrior who was fed up of the bloodshed and wanted to spend some quite time with the creatures of the forest.  Lately though, the creatures are avoiding the place which he puts down to the evil from the castle.  He does say though to keep a look out for Lothar the Castellan as he used to be friendly.  But he has not seen him in months so he may be dead or under the counts spell.  He urges me to take another gift, garlic gloves from his herb garden that he places around my neck.  Now in game this must seem quite a crazy gift as we would not know the count is a vampire.  But the title of the book gives it away a bit and this is quite a useful tool in the old vampire fighting.  I spend the night and get back 4 stamina that I do not need.

The next day I have to take a skill test as I head up a hill which I pass.  I make my way up the hill and coming out of the mist and silhouetted against a three quarter moon is Castle Heydrich  I can walk up to the half open gates or scout around the place.  Seems prudent to walk around first.  

It is a two story building and in the south east and west they have towers.  Bats are flying in and out of the south west tower.  The arrow slits in the towers are too narrow to climb.  Windows give off some light on the ground floor both in the east and the west but the heavy drapes prevent me from peeking in.  I have to make a Faith test by rolling 1d6 and adding 3.  George starts singing, I know that not everybody has a body like you!  But I roll a 5 and fail the test and end up back at the castle gates as the only way in.

The wooden gate opens with a bit of the shoulder and I find myself in the courtyard.  Directly in front of me are brass decorated doors, clearly the main entrance.  But also there is a crypt and multiple doors to the west and a door to the south of the main building.  That is quite a choice.  The count will be in the crypt but its too early for that.  Main entrance is too obvious.  Technically west is left but which one?  

I choose poorly.

I get the option to run, or use an item or fight.  Its early days so I gamble and fight as I only have garlic.  Skill 6 Stamina 5 and Skill 7 Stamina 6.  I only have to fight one at a time as I stand in the doorway.  The better wolf gets one bite but they are dispatched.  I find nothing and get the option to go to the crypt, the south door or the big brass doors.  What happened to the other west door?  I am not going through the main entrance so south it is.

I need to use my lantern as it is a store room with sacks of grain and rats.  Do I want to head to the west door through the room or back out?  Well came this far.

The rats do not take kindly to this and rush to attack me.  Of course I can not fight them as there are too many of them.  Do I keep running or head back.  Lets keep going.

I slam the door shut behind me and keep the squeaking horde at bay.  Beyond is a dusty chamber with a wooden staircase heading up.  Ah I am in a tower!  I need my lantern out to light the way through a dark cobwebbed area.  Two rotten figures that smell of death appear and its time for another faith test.  But I've got to think twice, before I give my heart away.  I pass and the zombies are so taken aback by my singing that I slip past.  

The stairs end at a landing with a door of black wood and silver runes.  As I try to open it the handle becomes a claw and grabs me.  It says leave this place you are not allowed here and lets me go.   Do I want to try and get past or head back to the courtyard.  Well I feel if it does not want me to get past there must be something worth it.

I smash the door with my sword and it punched me in the stomach for 1d6 damage.  I roll a 5 so it must have been some punch so I immediately eat one of my sandwiches in the ruins of the door.

The stairs continue upwards and towards the bell tower.  I hear high pitched squeaking and fluttering up ahead and again get a prompt to go back.  Seems that would be a waste now so I press on.  

Funnily enough a bat swarm flies past and I need to test my luck.  I pass and scare the bats away with my lantern.  Among all the bells I am attracted to a silver one with a blue light.  Its another faith test, 1d6 +3.    And I know all the games you play cause I play them too.  I fail massively with a roll of 6.  I get the option to ring the bell, which might alert everyone or retreat back to the courtyard.  I have not come all this way to go back to the courtyard.  We are ringing it (to the tune of faith).

Sir George Michael himself appears!

The clapper makes no sound as it hits the bell and instead I start to swoon.  Then the former Count Siegfried Heydrich appears.  Clad in shining mail and the shield of purest white with a red cross.  Sounds like he was a Knights templar.  Apparently he is near 7 feet tall, blonde hair and a flawless face.  Siggy asks me to cleanse the place of shame and horror.  His brother slew him with treachery and he calls on me to restore our good name and free the people in Reiner's thrall.   He tells me all his equipment including his sword Nightstar has been hidden here but he does not know where.  So instead he tells me where to find his vassal Mihkhail's sword.  Which is slightly less awesome than his.  

I gain 1 faith and 1 luck for this.  I follow the instructions and find the magic sword in the trapdoor at the base of the tower.  It does nothing for my skill just gives me a magic sword which will be useful in a place like this.

Now finally we go back to the courtyard.  Only two choices now, crypt or big brass doors.  Lets go in the main door.

The doors take me to the entrance hall which is decorated by black and red wall hangings to give it a somber appearance.  There is a faint moaning sound and I get a pretty blind north, west or east choice.  Lets go left.  

Opening the door and its just a dusty cobweb storage area full of lumber.  I get the option to search it but a warning that I could be seen by a person in the main hall.  I do feel I have been pushing it a bit so I go back out instead and go North.  

This leads to a brightly lit corridor with small water colour paintings.  We get another huge selection of options with a doors to the North, East and West along with a corridor off to the east.  Lets try the West door.  

How are you even standing?

I am in a very posh dinning room.  As I go to have a look though the tiger skin rug comes alive and wants to kill me.  It is only skill 7 but its does take a bite out of me before it its put down for a second time in its existence.   Looking around I then find enough items to make up about 4 gold pieces worth of stuff.  I then go to the door to peer into the next room.

Its a snug!  Clearly for people that have just been winded and dined with some nice chairs and stools.  The big find here is a decanter of brandy which has enough for two drinks.  Each drink is worth 4 stamina points.  Says a lot when a drink of brandy helps your stamina as much as a provision.  Also in the haul is a small silver mirror.  

As I leave I hear the east door slam shut, worried that I have been found I can go North or East.  I decide to keep going North.  The door has a silver lock which requires a silver key which I do not have so I am forced to go east.  

Its another door to the North that I open.  This feels like I am in the manor from Resident Evil.  This room is a shrine.  Decorated with white and yellow clothes on tables, stools and writing desks.  Picking up a book I see it is about famous holy men and healers.  It is signed by one Gunther Heydrich and I add book of healers to my possessions.

The east wall has a spy hole so I take a look.  I see a chamber with a pair of motionless halberd wielding zombies.  There is a half open door behind them but with no way to get there I head off to the next door.  

This one has a plaque on it, Doktor Karl Adenauer.  I knock politely and a voice invites me to come in.  The good Doktor is an old man and the room is full of books and his piles of papers are neatly arranged.  He looks at me over a crystal ball mounted on a dragons foot as he introduces himself as a sage in employ of the Count.  He despairs that the count is a wretched man that never gives him enough money for his expensive books.  The Doktor is grumpy but not hostile. Should we attack or talk to him.  Well can try talking first.

Before I can say anything though he keeps talking.  It is clear that he is very obsessed with getting more books that the count wont pay for.  So I need to bribe him with gold.  He accepts treasure in kind and I get a shopping list.

Getting into the library - 6 gold

Where to find the count - 3 gold

Relatives of the count in the castle - 3 gold

Nastassia the missing girl - 2 gold

Whats in the crypt - 2 gold

Any afflictions I have - 2 gold

Well I only have 6 gold so I feel I need to use it for getting in the library which is oddly specific and expensive.

Dok gives me a silver key with the number 378 engraved on it and point me in the right direction and I end up back at the Silver door from earlier.

This time I have the magic reference number and I get in.  The library is shockingly enough full of books.  I am attracted to a section with the history of Mortvania and the Heydrich family.  Having a quick read I discover that when Siegfried was count the land flourished but when he disappeared and Reiner took over it has been fear and misery.  It seems a lot of previous counts have been tyrants with his great great grandfather Eckhart being rumored to be a Vampyre.  There is a note next to it saying "and now I have attained that blessed state".  Reiner's signature is on the book and I match the handwriting to the note.  Finally in the game my dude realises that it is a vampire I am up against.  

In the library is also a small book that I am mysteriously attracted to.  Specifically the shining page 188.  It is a lovely picture of a sword, covered in runes being held to the sky.  Add the book of possessions to your inventory.   

As I search for a way out I find a secret passage which of course takes me to the two zombies I was peeping on earlier.  Skill 6 and 7.  I take a scratch though and decide to have a swig of brandy.  Then I find some stairs and head up past a window where I get asked if I have Lycanthropy.  Luckily I do not and continue up.  

Another two doors.  One plain one in the west wall and a silver handed door on the south.  Well vampires do not like silver so lets try that one.   

Its another lounge, but this one is described as being more plain but bedecked in a lot of plants and herbs.  I am not alone though as another man enters.  He is described as being middle aged with greying black hair in a widows peak.  Wearing plain clothes and carrying a tray with goblets and a decanter he introduces himself as Gunthar Heydrich and asks politely what my business is here.  Do I want to attack or talk. Ill try talking first.

Gunthar gives me some food and wine, getting me 4 stamina points back.  He describes himself as a healer and he know Reiner is an evil and vile creature.  Tragically Gunthar is no fighter and even if he was, he could not bring himself to kill his own brother.  We see he is weighed down by the despair of the castle.  I cheer him up though by telling him I am here to take care of Reiner.  In thanks he gives me a silver crucifix on a chain but  warns me I will also need a stake which he does not have, or the sword Nightstar.  I get offered a chance to show Gunther a book.

I can give him back his book or ask him about the book of swords.  Can I not do both?  I would love to return his book but the sword book has a hidden reference that I can use here so I opt for that.  Gunthar is shocked, it is actually Nightstar but it has been magically trapped in this book.  He says Reiners sister (would it not be his sister as well?) Katarina could help with her magic, but there is a problem.  Katarina is every bit as evil as the count and she will want you to do something in exchange for her help.  He puts his head in hands and we are told he might be too depressed but I am a warrior and here for action!  I wander through the door he came from.  

I appear to be back on the landing with two doors to the north, one on the west or follow the corridor south.  Well lets go left, west door it is.

I am assuming you are Katarina, also evil.

It is a lavishly decorated suite of rooms with plush furniture, exotic carpets, rugs and tapestries.  The place is described as dripping in wealth.  The above lady is waiting for me and mutters that it is polite to knock first.  It says in the text she is Katarina but if you do not speak to Gunthar how would you know this?  Do I want to attack or speak to her?  Well I need her magic for the sword so lets talk.

She offers me some fine wine but I hesitate so she drinks from it first laughing to prove it is not poisoned.  She then asks me straight out if I am here to kill Reiner.  I can say yes, no or here to save the village girl.  I see no point in lying at this stage, she is probably wanting rid of him so she can take charge.

Well right enough she says excellent, she can rule as countess once he has gone.   Do I have the book of swords?  If so double the reference number.  So 376.

She takes a sharp intake of breath and tells me this is indeed Siegfried's sword as Reiner has trapped it in the book for he fears it a lot as one of the only things that can kill him.  Katarina confirms she can release it but before that she asks me to kill the Castellan Lothar.  Hmm I know he is one of the good guys as the Forrester told me and we know Katarina is evil.  I say yes though rather than getting into a fight as I want that sword.  But I can always speak to Lothar hopefully and find another option.

Katarina is happy with this and gives me precise directions on where to find him.  And the book shortcuts us straight there.  Lothar's room could not be more opposite and described as humble.  He does have a bunk bed though!  Lothar is tall, well built and in his late 30s.  He gives me a welcome and jokes I must be lost to come to a place like this.  One of the options says I need to attack him if beguiled but I am not.  Lets talk.

But is not that easy.  As I start to talk I am brought low by stabbing pains and I spasm in agony, losing 4 stamina points in the process.  Lothar acts quickly and pulls out some golden liquid and pours it down my throat.  I start to recover and he sighs as he says you agreed to help her didn't you.  I nod and he understands, explaining that even if I did not mean to go through with it, once word is given freely to the witch you can not break it without suffering consequences.  

Lothar tells me to keep away from Katarina as she is dangerous and taking on both her and Reiner would be very difficult.  He says if I can destroy Reiner, he and Gunthar could deal with her.  He then asks me to turn around while he accesses a secret door.  He returns with a bunch of keys and a stake with a silver point.  Handing over the Castellan's keys he tells me the count sleeps in the crypt but the crypt key is kept in the count's rooms to the south.  The silvered stake is to be used to destroy him while he sleeps.  Lothar then looks puzzled before saying he has overheard the count muttering many times that he has hidden something away with a magic lock and just repeats the same phrase forward and back, forward and back.  He says the count is evil but not mad so it must mean something.  I thanks him and follow his directions straight to the counts suite.

I use the keys to open up the suite and find myself standing on a stone balcony overlooking the courtyard.  The balcony goes all the way around and has three doors that I can access from it.  I pick the first door.

It seems to be a disused and covered in cobwebs and its got all the game hunting trophies on the wall.  And a suit of armour, which of course comes to life.  Its skill 8 but it gets put down, I have another sip of brandy.  And a search turns up nothing.  Lets try the next door.

Wow I was not expecting a church.  Rows of pews are lined up inn front of a pipe organ.  Lots of silver candles line the place.  As I enter though the organ starts to drone but no one is playing it, very ominous.  It seems to summon a mass of black rats!  I try and shut the door but one nips me for 1 stamina.  I then have to roll to see how many more bites I get, which is two more.  I run through though eating a sandwich, get past the door and slam it shut.

I find myself in some kind of workshop, but the tools are unfamiliar to me and its is full of prisms and lenses mounted on iron rings.  There appears to be small caskets made of different woods and I apparently deduce it is a jewelers workshop.  I find an amethyst pin worth 2 gold pieces but alas the silver bars are too heavy to come with me.  The real find is a ring of regeneration (no word on how I know it is a ring of regeneration) but in game terms I automatically gain 2 stamina points after I win a combat!  Not bad!  I am then asked if I have met Gunthar Heydrich.  Why yes I have, so I have to take a skill test which I pass.

Apparently I am not sure about the size of the rooms.  I know where Gunthar's and Lothar's rooms are and there must be a hidden room.  Right enough, after some searching I locate it and blunder in.  There I find a coffin which I tip over (I would have liked to check if anyone was in it first) and out comes a load of earth.  You have destroyed one of Reiner's coffins!  Gain 1 faith point.  Oh but I need some time off from that emotion!

By this time the rats have all buggered off so I can go back to the balcony and try the door at the south end.  I use the Castellan's keys to open the door and enter a lavish reception room.  There is even a chaise lounge and cushions!  Decanters of wines and biscuits are available and I am invited to try red wine (nope blood), white wine (nope don't want to get drunk and already been on the brandy) or biscuits (nope stamina full so not worth the risk) so rather boringly I head out the west door.

The bat I get but a vampire weasel?

This is the counts living room and the rich walnut paneling show us he is a creature of great taste.  However no time to enjoy it as his pet Bat and Weasel attack me.  I have to fight the skill 8 bat as normal but every round I have to roll another dice.  On a 5 or 6 the Weasel sinks its teeth in an I lose another 2 stamina and then another 1 for every subsequent attack round.  And even after that if you win lose another 3 points to stop the bleeding as it runs away.  Oh and if the bat gets me twice turn to page 85.  It does.

Do I have the curse of the healer?  Nope.  Well I get my first affliction, the curse of the bat.  No effects just now.  Eventually I put the bat down and shake off the annoying weasel as I pull out another sandwich.  

I do find 4 gold worth of trinkets but need to test my luck and pass.  And I immediately get the luck point back as narrow blade on the door just misses my hand.  That sounds like it would have been sore.

I don't know why I thought his bedroom would have a four poster bed.  Of course its a coffin!

I particular like the descriptions of the paintings on the walls of the ancestors.  One is blatantly sucking blood and another is posing with a fire demon!  I wonder if its my pal from Forest of Doom?  I open the coffin a lot more carefully and its not got an occupant, just more earth so I smash it up and add another faith point!  Time to pick my heart up off the floor!  Do I want to go poking around the safe or the first or second drawer in his desk.  Lets try the safe!

I unlock the safe, which I am surprised about, was it not locked?  Defeats the purpose of a safe.  It is full of credit notes.....  

Oh and a black iron key to the crypt.  Take a Faith test and add 3, which I pass.  Well with all the coffin tipping its less and I spin round in time to see a green specter starting to form.  Oh when that love comes down without devotion!  I have time to take one action, do I want to try or swipe at it with my sword?  I have a swipe.

Do you have a magic sword?  Yes I do, its not THE magic sword but its still magic.  He loses 2 stamina points.  But its still a Skill 10 and Stamina 12 fight even with that.  Easily the toughest fight so far and I get fairly battered.  Still not fully recovered after that weasel so its eating food each paragraph now for a bit.  Oh wait the ring of regeneration!  2 Back, and 2 more for forgetting about it after the bat and weasel.

Now roll a dice, its 1-5 one result, roll a 6 the other page.  I roll a 2 and promptly lose 1 skill point as the specter had drained my life essence!  Well that was brutal!

Have you fought a Minor Thassaloss?  I'm sorry?  A what?  No I have not.  When I get to the landing I hear a loud crunching noise behind the door.  Do I want to investigate?  No thanks I just lot a skill point and its probably a Minor Thassaloss!

I waste no time and make my way down the stairs and back out to the courtyard and head to the crypt.  As I get the key out a huge shadow looms over me.  But as I spin round its just a bat passing past the moon.  But do you have Lycanthropy?  No I am just Bat man.

Into the crypt we creep.  It is pitch black but I have my lantern and a magic sword.  The stone steps are covered in cobwebs and moss as you would expect in a good crypt.  Gargoyles line the walls, looking down at me as rats skitter about gnawing at human looking bones.  I open another door and immediately have to test my luck....and immediately fall into a pit trap.  It costs me 4 points of stamina and also breaks any brandy or holy water.  Luckily I drank all the brandy.  

I find two doors in the corridor, one is labelled the tomb of Boris the Drunkard and the other is Chancellor Schmidt, the meanest man in Mortvania.  I can try them out or bypass them.  Lets try out Boris.  

In the tomb I find a sarcophagus and open it up.  Boris is a normal skeleton but there is a fancy bottle.  Do I want to inspect the contents?  Well my guess it is booze since he was Boris the Drunkard.  Its more brandy!  Good brandy as well I am told which I immediately swig and get my 4 points back from falling down the pit trap.

I decide to avoid the chancellors tomb using the rule of Fighting Fantasy that I have have had one good choice so the other must be bad.  

The junction end in a black door with heavy iron bands but there are another two doors.  One of them says Doktor Pieter Faustus, Physician to the Count.  Well Lets check it out.

Pickled, erm, everything!

The room is full of surgical equipment, bottled specimens, freaks of nature, jars of fluids and of course plenty severe heads and limbs.  Do I want to leave or keep searching.  Well I am here anyway so lets have a look.

For all that is holy, what the hell is this?!

As I am looking around I hear a strange bubbling sound.  I won't even try and describe it, thank goodness it had an illustration.  It is a necrotic jelly and its only skill 7 but after taking my skill hit its still not great getting into a fight.  If I get wounded turn the page.  I am of course wounded.

Do you have curse of the bat?  Yes I do.

As the jelly slime drips over me my body starts to change shape and I start to grow black fur, I grow wings and turn into a bat and fly away.  Wait, did I just become batman?

 

Now that is an origin story!

Notable Encounters - 

If I had chosen to go to the castle in the Uber that the Count sent for me I would have met another passenger, an unnamed ghost who tries to intimidate you.  If your faith is strong enough he has no effect on you.  Otherwise prepare for a tumble out of the carriage.  One star, the driver did not even have a head, how could he see where to go?

If you end up walking you get into a bit of a scuffle.

Of course in the woods some wolves attack you, but one of them is more than he seems and turns a bit more humanoid.  No problem unless you are wounded which results in the lycanthropy affliction.  Good luck getting through the game without curing it as the moon appears quite a lot.

A lot of labs in the castle!

This one belongs to Karl-Heinz Matthaus and is guarded by his little imp like Homunculus.  Which of course you can kill but then you will miss out on meeting the alchemist.  Karl-Heinz is employed by Katarina to mix her potions to keep her looking young.  He lets slip that she is actually 76.  Handy man to meet if you have a Lycanthropy affliction but you need to steal some herbs from the kitchen for him. 

In true Fighting Fantasy tradition, stay away from the paintings.  Although hilariously if you recognise the defaced Siegfried you storm out in a huff.  But the count can trigger your Lycanthropy through his painting or else the eyes just leak blood. 

Everyone has an eccentric cousin.  Mine is called Murry.

But the Count's one is called Wilhelm.  The only one of the family I did not meet during my playthrough.  Wilhelm is all about luck, and not test your luck, but random dice roll.  If you attack him unprovoked you are punished in faith and luck penalties.  If you are in luck though and he is talking he gives you some good advice on the count, but much more likely he is having an episode and will not help or hinder you.  Watch out for this raven!

A secret chest!

Why was the count going one forward, one back?  Well its the code to get into this chest.  But first you have to crack it - 

Using the counts clue, you can translate what is in the chest and the convenient three numbered paragraph to turn too.  It is Siegfried's chainmail which increases your skill by 1 and even increases your initial skill.  But wildly if you have luck 12 when you pick it up you get bumped up to a massive skill 13!   

Jandor is one of the counts previous victims!

Jandor is indeed a vengeful spirt but the revenge she wants is against the count.  She was a magic user but was taken by surprise by the count and killed.  She directs you to her coffin and the magic ring inside which has some spells charged in it.  You get 6 spells - 

Forcewall - Pretty much create a forcefield around you.

Greatstrike - Next attack does 4 stamina damage if successful.

Jandor's Bolt - Do 6 stamina damage to an Undead creature.

Luckspell - Guess.

Shatter - Destroys a creature made of bone.

Trueheal - Get half stamina back.

You only get three though.  So You would think oh difficult choice here.  Nope, they are selected by ransom dice roll lol! 

If you find Siegfried's tomb he will check your inventory and tell you if it is game over or not.  If you have his book he will guide you through a blood sacrifice to release his sword Nightstar.  You get your stamina back but more importantly plus 1 skill or plus 2 if you are fighting a vampire.  Both can take you past your initial skill.

Artwork - 

Martin McKenna is back and still only 18 when he did this.  And honestly he just gets it.  The artwork is dark and foreboding and just fits the theme perfectly.  I love this so much, its up there with my favorite with Iain McCaig's city of thieves and deathtrap dungeon.  I can not heap enough praise here, there are no duds, its all top quality.  I can see now why people have Martin on the Mount Rushmore of Fighting Fantasy artists.  Only 18!  More talent in his pinky than my entire body!

From my walkthrough I really love Valderesse and her bear and the amazing tiger skin rug.  But the necrotic jelly that led to my demise is my favorite.  Loads more in the menagerie section as well such as the Major Thassaloss!

The Gnome's Dog.  He does not stay this peaceful.

The Giant rat encounter is made ten times better with this picture.

A rude interruption if you stay the night with the Gnome, turns out he works for the count.

Doktor Karl, but only if you ask him a specific question.  Watch out for that globe!

The Wraith was delighted when Mortvania scored in the world cup!

Katarina looking every one of her 76 years!

I never normally talk about the little page break illustrations.  They are nice but I did not really feel the need to mention them.  Until today.

This is the stuff of nightmares!

Big Bad - 

Count Reiner!

The actual Count.

Ok quick bookkeeping first.  The count is the big bad, he is the whole reason we are here.  Yes he is not the last opponent as Katarina makes a bid for power and you could argue she is the big bad, but I am not having it.  Right, glad we all agree.

Count Reiner Heydrich looms over the whole adventure, as he should.  From the very start you feel he is pulling the strings by sending his coach to pick you up.  The whole time it feels like he is just toying with you, like its all a big game.  Multiple times you can hear him mocking you outright.  So it is not like he is not aware of you, he just does not see you as a threat.  There is good reason for this, he is an absolute beast to defeat.

First you need to pass a faith test to stop him paralyzing you.  This will kill you if you are not wearing some garlic.  You can mitigate some of his strength by using a silver mirror and lobbing holy water grenades at him.  Magic can also be used but the count is resistant to magic so it is not quite as effective.  But you really need to chip away at it as when you do get into combat he is skill 13.  Yes skill 13.  Oh and you better have a magic sword or you can not harm him.  His stamina is a whopping 21 as well but you can whittle that down.  

Even then its not over, if you get him down to 4 stamina he turns into a gas cloud and attempts to escape.  You need a forcewall spell to keep him around.   Otherwise he comes back with 8 stamina restored.  If you then get him down again to 4 he gets desperate and tries to bite you.  His skill is reduced by 2 but that is still skill 11.  If he gets you twice you are dead.  

Finally you defeat him and he turns into gas again.  All over?  Nope.  Hope you have destroyed his coffins or he is able to retreat to them and the best you can do is escape.  Got the coffins, great you can find him in his last coffin in the crypt.  All good right?  Not quite!

You need to have the Crucifix or a shield of faith (only need one) and then one of a stake or the magic sword Nightsword.  If not you just have to flee.  But if you have them finally then the count is put down.

Then Katarina appears and tries to take you down.

Menagerie - 

This is about as stereotypical as you can get.  Ghouls, Zombies, Wolves, Wraiths, Specters and of course walking suits of armour.

Resident Evil meets Overcooked.

Ghouls still paralyze you with three hits.  Even giant ones!

Wilhelm's Raven is a b*stard, goes for your eyes and causes skill penalties!  

The theme of skill penalties happens a lot, such as when the specter got me for -1 skill.  And he is not alone.  A lot of others give you afflictions if they hit you a few times.  Also if you want to go full anger you pretty much can attack all the family and workers kicking about the castle and even on the way there.  This rarely goes well with either difficult fights or you are punished for killing innocents.

But there is some more exotic treats in store for you - 

The demonic steed.  My daughter has horse riding lessons every weekend that involves me getting up early and spending a lot of money so all horses are demonic to me.

The Wood Golem, the Stone Golems poor cousin.  I do love how he appears to be stepping out of the page towards you.

The Baobhan Sith will scream and attack you.  Which is perfectly fair since you try and kiss her.  Ah the 80s, a different time where unsolicited kissing was seen as gallant.  

The Major Thassaloss, an absolute beast that also shoots green light at you every turn.  Unless you have the shatter spell and then you can just one hit him.

Entertaining Deaths - 

To be fair for such a tough book, not many instant deaths.  Plenty of other ways to kill you.  

Getting hit by a huge ghoul three times.  You are paralyzed and eaten alive!

Being screamed at by a Baobhan Sith.

Searching a room when you have a major lycanthropy affliction.  A shaft of moonlight hits you and you turn into a werewolf.  

Attacking Katarina without a magic sword.  She captures you in a magic rug and places a copper bowl at your throat in preparation to collect you blood. 

Opening a drawer that you know to be booby trapped, you inhale poisonous gas and as you collapse convulsing as the count walks in.

Not having picked up enough items, the ghost of Siegfried tells you to flee the crypt which you do.  But Reiner is waiting at the entrance for you.

Getting bit by a vampire!

Saving Nastassia but being unable to finish off the count.  A hollow ending, but you live!

Katarina becoming the countess and you her slave, at least you live! 

But the winner for me for this book is - 

Attacking Doktor Karl, a dragons head materialises out of a crystal ball and incantates you.  Your body is then prepared for a ghoul as a delicious barbequed meal.

Pete's Corner - 

"Attacking innocent foresters probably made me worse than the Count!"

 

Final  Thoughts - 

First I want to say how much I loved this theme.  I thought the hammer horror type genre might be a bit too cringy but it absolute works here.  Mortvania may not be the most imaginatively named but it works really well for an adventure.  From the start in a backwater tavern where the spooky goings on start straight away.  The people that you meet feel real and a natural part of the adventure.  From Valderesse and Barrandrun in the forest to the Count's own family, sometimes you feel you are only moving through their world rather than everything revolving around you.  I do like that everyone in the castle is not just an evil villain.  There is a family dynamic going on here where some like Katarina are also evil but wants to be in charge and Gunther and Lothar who are trying to overcome the evil.  And of course Wilhem who is just mad.  Although the count employs quite an array of alchemists and doctors, I would like to be a fly on the wall for his HR interviews.

After some huge country wide adventures, it was interesting to be back in such a smaller environment, in this case a castle and the surrounding area.  It felt a bit like House of Hell in that regard.  Mapping it out showed as well just how much smaller this was.  But I feel this was much more RPG like as befitting the author.  Every interaction would give you multiple choices, so if you wanted to be a murdering maniac, you could be.  Alternatively if you wanted to try and talk your way out of each situation you could certainly try.  So while the scope is a lot smaller, instead it gave you a lot more variety on how you could play.  While I do like the big huge adventures, this was a pleasant change as it was done so well.  

And the writing makes it happen.  At one point I did get a bit worried when I was on a landing with no less than five choices on where to go next but all pretty non descript, it was like a blind T-junction on steroids.  But I did not have to fear, the fun is mapping out the castle, its actually really well designed.  In my play through I mentioned it felt like the mansion in Resident Evil and it really did, you never knew what was going to be through the next door, but you had to have a look!

The atmosphere was backed up by the artwork.  It really sold it for me.  It fits the theme and the tone perfectly.  Honestly its a wonderful job from Martin here and among my favorite in the entire series.  The art can make a good book great and the opposite is true.  I can not praise it enough. 

Great book then?  Well it is not without some flaws.  Most revolve around the crunch of the gameplay and difficulty.

Looking at the non standard mechanics ill start with Faith..."Cause I gotta have faith, faith, faith!"  Ok George, that's enough now.  This joke went too far after the second line.  In my head I was going to get to the climactic battle with Reiner just in time for the chorus.  

Faith is a good addition, but you better get a high score.  We were told that too high was bad as it attracts the bad guys.  Well its very rare that happens, it is much more damaging to have a low faith roll as 90% of the time it ends badly for you, especially at the end.  And when something goes well you get +1 faith score so it must be good.  I do like the mechanic though, adds a different elements to the book and it gets used a lot.

The afflictions are interesting and a lot more punishing, especially the Lycanthropy one.  It does force you to try and seek out a cure as leaving them will not go well for you.  Although it is easier to avoid them than cure them.  An interesting idea but I could take it or leave it, I think the book has enough going for it that they would not be missed.

Magic is the worst of them though.  It comes far, far too late in the adventure to be any good.  Just right on the final stretch which makes the use very limiting.  Some of the spells are interesting and it gives the final boss battles a bit more variety but you should absolutely get to choose.  Random dice rolls to select the spells is a nonsense.  It feels very tacked on for me and again, I do not think the adventure needed it.  

It also highlights the worst part of the book, random dice rolls.  I really hate this in Fighting Fantasy, we have abilities to test against, especially luck!  Yes roll dice but use the stats to pass and fail.  The magic is the worst and I get why you need to roll for Wilhelm to simulate the madness but it should be a test. There are a few more which determine stat penalties in the book but the main positive is they are not game breaking.  None of them I can see would stop you winning, the only one that would hurt is missing the shatter spell for the Major Thassallos but even then he can be beaten in combat.   I've changed my mind, the worst one is when you fight the Specter and you need to roll a 6 to avoid losing a skill point! 

And I would be remiss not to mention the difficulty.  Is it impossible? No I do not think so, but you need a pretty good skill and faith roll.  The enemies are not too bad with just a few skill 10 to get past, but its what they do if they do hit you.  Oh raven got your eyes, lose some skill.  Oh when you are fighting this bat the ferret is biting you.  Oh you got an affliction as it hit you twice.  Oh the Thassaloss is shooting you with green fire from its eyes at the same time.  It can be quite punishing.  But not terrible in Fighting Fantasy terms, plenty brandy to go around to heal you.  Its only really when you get to the boss fight that you need it.  But to be fair you can get the sword and armour to boost your skill, but realistically id say you need skill 11.  

But that's just for the very end to actually finish it, you can do a lot before then.  We have certainly seen a lot worse.  And you do not tend to notice it as much due to the whole actually having a good time playing it.  You do need to item hunt, but unlike other adventures where they can be really random, such as a stone in the forest containing a clue to get through a door in another country, these actually make sense and fit the story really well.

As much as I enjoyed the characters and the family dynamic, I think its the actual setting I enjoyed the most.  Yes its a stereotypical vampire setup but I like that.  And there is enough additions as well such as all the mad scientists going about.  The castle itself is probably the star.  And of course bought alive by the art!

  

But imagine would could have been.......

Score 8 out of 10.

Portal of Evil

Background - 

Another year has passed, it is now early 1989.  Puffin HQ has been demolished after the great Star Strider battle and plans are in progress to create an even bigger mega complex using the millions and millions that have been generated by the Fighting Fantasy series.  

But there are many problems, all the experimental tech has been destroyed, the giant puffin airship is just a burnt out shell, and even worse, the authors have escaped and are now in the wild.  Crack commando teams have been dispatched across the planet to bring them back, but that will take time.

Ian stepped into the unassuming café diner on the corner of the street.  He had not been in a greasy spoon in years.  Now he only dined in the finest of establishments with the best wine cellars.  Looking around he did not take long to spot Philippa in the corner.  He pulled up a seat next to her.

Ian "How are you?  Are things getting any better?"

Philippa "Oh you mean how everything we have built burnt to the ground, caused an international incident that we had to cover up and now have lots of people on the loose that we need to catch before they talk?" 

Ian "But everything we were doing was above board though.  Was it not?  Philippa?"

Philippa "Of course it wasn't Ian!  Do you think keeping authors against their will, time travel, AI experiments, aliens, are all above board!?"

Ian "I am just an author...."

Philippa "No you are complicit, you took the money!  Now you can help me fix it, we need to do damage control."

Ian has turned whiter than a fighting fantasy undead illustration at the thought of having to go back to life like it was when he lived with Steve.

Ian "What do you need?"

Philippa "That's more like it!  Now we have teams across the globe sorting the big problems but it will take time to build the new HQ and also track them all down.  Speaking of which could we use this opportunity to find Steve?"

Ian "Absolutely not."

Philippa "Ok, Ok, I won't push it.  Anyway we can take care of all the other stuff, but it all costs money.  We need another book."

Ian sighs "I just gave you Armies of Death, I do not know what else we can do!  I talked about sailing and had a pie eating contest for goodness sake!"

Philippa "I did not say it had to be you."

Ian "But all the authors have fled.  We do not know where they are."

Philippa "That's not strictly true, we know where one lives, and never took him into HQ.  You should visit him.  Besides, he only thinks he is a vampire.  Pretty sure he isn't."

Ian dejectedly starts eating his bacon roll.

We cut to a scene as Ian trudges up to the castle of Peter Darvill-Evans.  It is of course a dark, rainy stormy night as it always seems to be.  The gates with his PDE initials though are open.  The grand front doors are also ajar and the Ian starts to worry as he comes out of the rain.  It looks like the place is deserted.

Ian "Hello!?  Peter are you here?"

There is no response.  Ian goes up the left side stairs of the grand staircase (always left) and makes his way to the study.  A single candle illuminates it but its in a bit of a state.  Ian picks up the closest document on the desk, to his shock its a comic.

Ian "Blade?"

It was then that he hear the faint sound of music.  He placed his hand on the wall, he could actually feel it!

Ian followed the sound down to the lower levels of the castle and by the time he got to the door of the basement it was very loud.  It was music he had never heard before but he believed it was to do with this new rave craze, or acid house as the kids called it.

He opened the door and it was an assault on all the senses.  Flashing lights blinded him and the music was so loud he could not hear himself think.  The place was packed with people all dancing.  He forced his way through, eventually spotting Peter in the middle of the throng.  

Barging through he put his hand on Peters shoulder, who whipped around.

Peter "Ian my good fellow, what brings you here?"

Ian "What?"

Peter "I said what brings you here?"

Ian "I cant hear you, can we talk?"

At that moment it seemed to rain, Ian looked up and saw the sprinklers.  Must be a fire he thoughts, then he noticed the liquid coming out was red.  And that everyone else, including Peter were covered in the red substance.  The dancing just got more wild.  Ian went to find a seat in the corner.

After a while the music stopped and people headed out.  Peter came over to see the blood covered Ian who was wiping it off his glasses with a very expensive handkerchief.  

Ian "I do not even want to ask."

Peter "You don't need to good fellow, my people are embracing this modern age.  They will make films about it one day.  Anyway what can I do for you?"

Ian "We need another book."

Peter "Well why didn't you say so!  I already have one in mind.  Come upstairs and we can get you cleaned up and ill tell you all about it."

Portal of Evil came out in February of 1989.  Somehow we are already 37 books in, in such a fast timeframe.  It is written by Peter Darvill-Evans who we have met once before with Beneath Nightmare Castle which heavily leant into the horror side of things.  It was ok, I liked the setting just not the mechanics and the art.  Very interested to see how PDE gets on with his second outing.  I have never played this book before, I have seen the cover but for whatever reason I never picked it up.

Covers - 

This is clearly Zombie Dave just taking his pet stegosaurus out for a walk, nothing unusual to see here, move along.  I do like the strange wall inscription on the right hand side.  It is very mysterious and makes me wonder what is going on here.  I do have a legitimate question though.  A stegosaurus is pretty big normally.  So is this a baby one, or is it a giant zombie? 

Premise - 

The Cloudhigh Mountains in Khul mark the edge of human habitation.  At least they used to until recently.  The southern half of the range is home to an impenetrable woodlands with rivers that flow into an inland sea.  This forest is full of Goblins who call the huge lake Mlubz.

No humans have ever stepped foot in the forest in recorded history.  However a few years ago a small band set out from the frontier town of Kleinkastel and disappeared into the forest.  Months later two survivors came back, with nothing less than gold!  Now a whole bunch of people are descending on the forest with pick axes.  Families, tribes, hangers on and even tax collectors have all appeared to get in on the action. 

Keen to restore law and order (and not at all to generate income) the Margrave of Kleinkastel has declared that the forest is now part of his domain.  Now the place is crawling with his soldiers, chasing bandits and selling mining licenses.  To the miners they are just another irritation to deal with, along with the monsters.  However, the most successful miners are now already rich enough to defy the Margrave and employ teams of less fortunate migrants to work the best gold seams.  The result is that Kleinkastel has become a boom town.

The most successful mine owner is Gloten and he has recently sent out invitations to adventurers like me to work as caravan guards.  However I actually turned down this offer as I had better things to do!

But since then, something has gone wrong in the forest.  Gloten has sent a new message out.  Miners and their families are going missing, strange beasts have been seen in the forest and he needs a renowned warrior to come and investigate.  Hmm, pretty sure some kind of investigator is what you need rather than a warrior.  If you come though and return the forest to normal, he will pay you your own weight in gold.  Shame I do not weigh much.

With my last 2 coins I purchase a map of the area.  Wait a second ago I had better things to do and now I have no gold to my name!  

My last gold well spent.

After my journey to Kelther I am also down to my last 2 provisions and along with the map I only have my armour and sword.  But at least my journey was uneventful.  However due to heavy rain and flooding of a ford I missed the road and I am now deep in the forest.  Last night I slept in the undergrowth but I have now found a track that should lead to Kleinkastel and find Gloten and offer my services.

Playthrough - 

Right enough the first thing you are told is that you have no money and only 2 provisions!  Skill, Stamina and Luck are all as normal as you would expect.  

Reading through the rest of the rules I come across that you may only eat one meal at once!  No more sitting down eating a mountain of cheese sandwiches to restore all my stamina.  Interesting, will make things more difficult, but also realistic.  And you can only eat when given the option!

And that's it!  Very basic set up, but that's not necessarily a bad thing.

Skill - 9

Stamina - 21

Luck - 9

I probably could not be more average if I tried.  

No messing around, straight into an encounter with an elf and a dinosaur!

I come across a line of blood on the path.  I can see where the wounded creature has crashed through the undergrowth and follow the path.  The wounded animal is no less than an lizard the size of an Ox.  So a dinosaur then.  It has wounds on its side and an elf women is stroking its snout.  As I enter the glade it snarls and the elf women raises her sword, but they do not attack.  Instead they BOTH speak.  "Help us, please help us!"  But before anyone can explain what is going on, two soldiers appear and attack them.  Do I help defend the monster or wait and stand back.  I feel I should help them, elves are normally good.

The elf women intercepts one and I go for the other soldier, who is not interested in talking.  Lucky he is only skill 5 and stamina 8, and even then you only have to reduce him to 3 stamina to make him flee into the forest.  

He is sent packing and so is the other attacker by the elf and beast.  Alas the creature is very badly wounded.  It is not surprising I do not know the creature as it is a Spinosaurus and has been extinct for millions of years.  Although now I know exactly what it is as the book just told me, but my character will not know.  Unless he was a paleontologist before being an adventurer.   Looks a bit smaller than the one in Jurassic Park 3 mind you.

I try to speak to the elf women but its the dino that replies.  It tells me that he used to be an elf himself but his hunting party was captured by cursed slave warriors.  They forced them to got through the dread portal one by one where most were overcome and broken and became mindless slaves to whomever controls the portal.  However he fought it and would not let his memory be wiped clean, but when he awoke he was as we see him now, transformed.  It has happened to others and a lot of them have gone mad.  He believes that this is a common form on the far side of the portal but only slaves can go there.  No one knows the extent of the evil except Gartax, but I should leave now as its too dangerous.  I can go back to the path and head to Kleinkastel or find out more about Gartax.  Well the name has just been thrown out there so lets try and find out more.

The book correctly states that I have many questions like what are the slave warriors, where is the portal etc.  But the dino elf is really struggling.  He tells me that the Margrave, mine owners, goblin king and even the wood elves know how bad it is.  Gartax however was a miner that had the sense to get everyone out of his village before the slave warriors arrived.  Now he is living in the forest trying to organise a resistance, he is camped half a league south-east.  He must rest now and thanks me for my help.  I can now head back to the path and go to Kleinkastel, head towards the mountains or go and find Gartax.  We better find out more about Gartax.

Now it that a random creature or is it a transformed person?

Hacking my way through the undergrowth I  eventually find a new path.  It leads me to a clearing with just one lone tree in it.  Even though it makes me uncomfortable in the game I go up to the tree.  As I do I hear a rustle of the bushes and out comes running a man being chased by a Phororhacos, which I am told is a giant flightless bird.  The man is backing away from his pursuer with just a knife.  I can try and rescue him or leave him to it.  Well I am a hero so lets try and settle everyone down.

I put myself between the man and the big bird, only to feel the mans knife at my neck.  He tells the bird, Agrid, that there ruse has worked and the noble warrior tried to help.  He asks me to put up my sword.  I can do that or attack.  I feel attacking with a knife to my neck and a giant bird to my front would not be a good choice.  What are they going to do?  Take my 2 provisions?

He tells me I have made a wise choice as a dozen armed men and women appear from the forest as he demands to know what I am doing.  I tell him about my talk with the dinosaur and that I am looking for Gartax.  He tells me that Gartax is no more than a brigand and his followers are even worse.  He tells me that is not an answer though, why is a sell sword here?  I can say I am a free booting adventurer or tell him the truth about Gloten's appeal for help.  Well this guy deceived me but I won't lower myself to his level.  

He seems excited that the big wigs, or at least Gloten, have decided to do something at last, describing Gloten as the sharpest of the mine owners.  Because he believes my story he lets me know that he is in fact Gartax and these are his people.  Wow that was a switch!  Gartax invites me back to the camp and on the way he gives me his story.  

His village was in the foothills of the Cloudhigh Mountains.  They were alarmed by the sudden influx of ferocious beasts and the disappearances of villagers.  With that he led them to the forest, but now they have found entire settlements deserted.  Silent pale skinned soldiers, the slave warriors, infest the area.  Worse, some of them are clearly mining folk who had disappeared, others are men from the South and even Goblins are included.  Gartax had planned to create his own army but the slave warriors have grown too large so now his plan is to lead them safely away through the forest.  I can ask about Gloten or if anyone else can help.

Well Gloten seems to be the person I need to speak to so any advice could help.  Gartax tells me he is a wealthy man but unlike others he has worked for his wealth.  He points to the mountains and lets me know that Gloten has done his fair share grubbing about under them, now he owns the best gold-bearing soil in Khul.  Gartax says he knows where he keeps his hoard but also the little known fact that Gloten is actually a Dwarf.  He knew the humans would not accept him so he shaved his beard and bought some built up boots to hide the fact.  If you ever want anything from him, challenge him to a pickaxe handle fight as he can not resist.  But let him win and tell him he has the strength of a Dwarf, then he will do anything for you.  I can now ask where his hoard of gems are or if anyone else who can help.  Well it would be rude to ask about the treasure so I ask if anyone else can help.

Gartax shakes hid head and says he expects no help.  The Margrave's soldiers are too busy extorting taxes and the big mine owners have no idea what's going on, safe in Kleinkastel.  But he does tell me to seek out the Wizard of Lake Mlubz, he might know what's going on.  He has met him once and says ask for help in is name.  The lake can be found to the South until you come to a stream that's too wide and deep to wade across, then follow it to the lake.  With that we arrive at the camp.

The camp is full of tents and rickety wooden structures.  A central enclosure has all the pack animals tethered to it and sentries stand guard.  Others are sitting in branches in the trees and everyone looks tired.  But Gartax's return cheers everyone up.  There are no warriors here but everyone, including young children carry a weapon, even if it is a broom handle.  I go to Gartax's tent where he tells me he expects an attack soon and begs me to help them.  I get the option to help or just leave.  We can not just leave, can I?  Can I?  No better not.

Gartax is overjoyed that I am staying and so are the rest of the camp.  I get them to set up trip wires in the forest and hide archers in the trees before teaching some basic sword skills.  All this is just done, I did not choose it.  The cook makes me a nice meal but my stamina is still maximum, nice of him though.  Then the tinkle of alarm bells from the forest and everyone takes up defensive positions.  Do I want to go into the forest or hold the line.  Hold the line please.  None shall pass!

What is described as an army of scarecrows come out of the forest.  Men and Goblins are now mindless slave warriors.  They are thin, pallid and wearing filthy rags.  No sound comes from their shrunken mouths and they stare expressionlessly.   The camp are petrified and I have to shout at them to fight. It turns out that both sides are terrible at fighting and I just have to run around each combat and kill the zombies.  They do not retreat though and all have to be killed.  Many of the camp are wounded and some dead but I do not even have a scratch.  I did not even have to roll a dice!  I decide to examine a body, see if I can learn anything.

They are filthy, wearing rags, pale skin and blank expressions.  Some have even lost facial features, deep sunken eyes or slits where a nose should be.  Everyone has a stone talisman with hieroglyphics on it.  I find one still alive but he is dying, a black shadow surrounds his talisman.  I take the talisman, do I want to wear it?  No I do not want to wear the creepy black shadow talisman.  Instead I go back to the camp.

Gartax has no words to express his gratitude.  Alas they have no treasure to offer me but instead he gives me breads, cheeses and salted meats, enough for 5 provisions!  I am waved off and immediately climb a tree to get my bearings.  I see the road to Kleinkastel, I can keep going south deeper into the forest or head to the mine workings at the mountain foothills.  Well I want to see Gloten so I head towards the town.  

I arrive with no issue and find that Kleinkastel has the old town which is just a couple of streets with old houses surrounded by a wall.  The new part though is filled with mansions and shanty areas.  But the most impressive building is still the Margrave's castle.  I am taken aback by the amount of people going about.  Evening is approaching but I have no money.

As such I can not find a place to sleep and instead have to doze off in a dry corner against the town wall.  I am awoken by a Dwarf prodding me.  He is accompanied by another giant featherless bird called Gluda.  He tells me to give me my backpack and everything in it or the bird will rip me apart.  Do I want to do that?  No I do not.

Get your hands off my backpack!  Or my Satchel!  Or my Sack!

This turns out to be a mistake as Gluda is in fact a Dromaeosaurus which was one of the smallest carnivorous dinosaurs.  She may be small, but she is Skill 10!  Stamina is 10 but she will run away if reduces to 2 stamina.  Despite her skill advantage I scare them off but I am down to 15 stamina.  I really want to eat a provision but the book said I had to wait till I am told I can so instead I go back to sleep in my corner.

When I wake up instead I am told I must eat a provision or lose 4 stamina points!  I do get the option to go begging for food but of course I eat one of my own.  

I join the excited crowds heading for the market square.  All the bigwigs are gathering.  The town alderman, the Margrave, chief priests and a mysterious wizard.  They have been in conclave for days and will be making an announcement.  Its Gloten that is doing the talking though.  He tells us about his concerns and hopes some of the crowd are warriors that have answered his call.  Going on he says an ancient evil gateway to another world has opened and an evil warlord and his slave warriors are the threat.  While they build their own army they need a champion to buy time by defeating the warlord.  They will decide this champion by having a tournament.  Do I want to enter or head straight to the forest?  I feel I should at least try.

About a dozen of us make our way to the platform.  There Gloten has our ankles tied and blindfolded as a box is placed in front of us.  The first test is the test of courage, we have to remain motionless as a creature is released from the box and see who remains motionless for the longest.  But beware, when does courage become foolhardiness?  I hear a slithering noise as something touches my leg but do not lash out.  Something winds its way up my waste and I hear screaming as other contestants start to defend themselves.  Rubber suckers are attaching themselves to my clothes and skin as I feel a heavy body and a tentacle wraps around my neck.  Is it time to act?  Nope that's what they want you to do!  Hopefully...

Dozens of dry lips can be felt on my face but I stay motionless.  Eventually the creature gives up and drops to the floor so I take off my blindfold.  Gloten says well done, seven of us have passed.  The creature was a saltsucker and harmless as long as you stay still.  Now we need to have our wits tested.  

In Kleinkastel coinage, 2 Brass pennies = 1 Silver piece.  2 Silver = 1 Gold.  He has 6 coins worth 3 gold.  He gives 2 coins to me, 2 to the margrave and keeps 2 for himself.  The Margraves coins are different but his are the same, what coins does he have?  I have 2 Brass pieces.

Ok so my 2 Brass = 1 silver.  He cant have 2 gold as the Margrave has two different ones and any combo wont amount to 3 gold value.  It must be silver (the other option).

That is correct and only four of us now remain.  I get a cheer from the crowd.  The final test is a skill of swordsmanship, two semi finals then a final.  Everyone thinks this is a terrible idea as whoever wins will probably be too badly wounded to be any good.  I notice the servants have wooden pick axe handles.  I can suggest using these instead or challenging the Margrave or Gloten himself to a pick axe handle duel.  Well I know a certain dwarf who can not resist.

The Margrave is outraged by my suggestion and wants me seized.  Alright Margrave it was not that bad an idea, bit of an overreaction mate.   Gloten is having none of it though and says this warrior knows how miners like to fight and throws off  his rich cloak.  He is skill 9 and stamina 16.  But when one of us is down to 4 stamina I can throw the fight.  Well that's probably going to be me. 

I do not even hit him once, he has me down to 3 stamina and he is still on 16!  So yeah, I throw the fight. He is delighted as he loves winning but says only a superb warrior could last so long against him with his favorite weapon.  He cancels the rest of the tournament and declares me the winner.  We shake hands and I can either say nothing or say a certain phrase about being as strong as a Dwarf.  Well lets follow Gartax's advice.

Gloten is astonished at how perceptive I am and invites me to his house.  I am taken to an audience chamber with some couches and an enormous armchair which is clearly Gloten's.  Couch, armchair or search the armchair?  It seems rude to look or sit in his chair, I am not trying to antagonize him so I wait patiently on the couch.  What I really want to be doing is tucking into a sandwich, I am one stubbed toe away from death!

Gloten arrives and apologises for taking so long, he has been looking for a special item for me but can not find it.  He sits on his chair and does something complicated with the arms which reveals a hidden compartment with a box.  The box is loaded with jewels but instead he pulls out a battered old horn of dwarven workmanship.  He tells me not to worry as this is worth more than the jewels.  When in dire peril I need to sound it and the eagles will come to my aid for they swore an oath to his forefathers that would help any who sounded the horn.  I assume they had a limit and I can not just sound it for them to fetch me some food, and then a comfy stool, and then a back massage....

During the evening apothecaries examine my wounds and give me a bunch potions before I retire to the Margrave's guest chambers.  This restores all my stats to initial levels!  Everyone has turned out in town to see me off.  The Margrave presents me with a warrant ordering his subjects to grant me free passage and any help I require.  Gloten gives me 10 gold and a present from a wizard, a potion of true seeing.  And 5 provisions from the townsfolk (if I ever get to eat them).  Gloten tells me that all they know is that somewhere underground someone discovered the portal and is using its power to create the slave warriors.  The Warlord is probably on the other side of the portal and it is likely to be filled with the creatures that now roam the countryside.  He says its not just the weak that are victims.  Horfak and Dirlin, two wealthy mine owners, are also missing.  I set off into the forest.

 

It was going so well..

This part of the forest is full of paths that head north into the hills or deeper into the forest.  The mountains are to the east so that where my dude decides to go (I get no choice).  However I quickly find I am being followed by this pair.  The dino is a Struthiomimus which is about the size of an ostrich.  Must not have made the Jurassic Park cut.  Alas he is Skill 9 but we are only to have three rounds of combat.  

Amazingly I win all 3, which is a fair change to my last battle!  During the battle we hear a low booming noise.  The dino hears it as well and heads back to the zombie slave guy as its him making the noise.  He puts a rope round the Struthiomimus neck and advances on me.  Do I have a ring of Zombie warding?  No, I've got lots of things, thought I was doing great, but of course no ring of Zombie warding.

So its a skill 6, stamina 9 fight with the slave warrior.  I easily dispatch him, do I want to search the body or leave on the east path.  Erm, is that skill 9 dinosaur not still here?  Lets make a run for it.

I arrive at a seemingly abandoned village.  No more than a cluster of cabins for the miners and their families.   I have a poke around but its all dark and gloomy.  Just then I hear marching feet and men's voices.  Do I want to wait for them or hide.  Well I feel that the slave warriors are silent so this can't be them.  

As I stand on the path I notice a big oak tree with a hole in it, of course there is something shiny in it.  Do I want to put my hand in?  No I do not. If it was Ian's book of course I would have.

A troop of the Margrave's men arrive.  The sergeant asks my business.  Luckily I have a warrant.  Which is no use as he does not give me a chance and says he has no time to listen to my excuses and I am marched at sword point into the village!

I am held in the square until an officer appears on horseback.  The soldier tells him about me and he calls me a vagrant and demands I explain myself.  NOW I pull out my warrant!  Hope he can read.

He scoffs at my old parchment and starts reading it.  As he does he gets more white.  He salutes and gives me his apologies and says him and his men are at my disposal.  I just ask for a meal when the men are searching the village.  I tuck in and enjoy it as they bring me a table and chair.  Once finished I go to find out if the search has turned up anything.

Turns out they had no idea what they were searching for.  They end up having a fight over pigs.  Some want to use them for bacon and the others want them killed in case they are possessed.  Eventually they march off.  Do I want to go east or stay and conduct my own search.  They seemed a bit useless so ill check myself.

Each hut is a simple two room wooden structure.  Rugs, mattresses, pots and pans are the norm but anything valuable is gone.  But I do find some stuff.  A rope, bundle of torches and a miners helmet.  The miners helmet lets you see in the dark and keep your hands free.  But it needs a candle which I do not have.

As I continue on the forest is suspiciously silent.  I find two bodies on the road.  They are Scurrellors, long tailed, furry humanoids that live in the trees.  They had been on a hunting trip as their quivers are empty and they have a bag of game birds.  But they have been shot with crossbow bolts that are still in their bodies.  Do I search them or keep walking?  Well all they have is game birds and I am stocked with provisions.  And I assume whomever shot them will still be around.  So I keep going.

I come to a fork in the path and I am delighted its not blind.  I can go North-East into the mountains or head South-East into the forest, skirting the hills.  That wizard that was mentioned was in the lake to the south so I go that way.

My path takes me to an amazing garden.  In fact it is the most beautiful garden I have ever seen.  It is described in great detail, which I won't go into here, but just picture a really nice garden.  However the garden has been damaged!  It looks like its been trodden on and flowers cut with swords.  There is a wooden platform in the trees with a rope ladder.  Do I want to go  up?  I guess I should as they might need help since the garden was vandalized.

I climb up and find the platform is made out of creepers and branches put together.  On the platform I find a creature who is very tall and thin.  She has wrinkled brown skin, brown hair and clothes made of brown leaves.  In fact looking closer it appears some of the leaves are part of her body.  She is old and introduces herself as Lignia, a protector of the forest.  She invites me up.  And then it asks if I have a sword, erm yes?

Lignia is not happy with this and accuses me of just being another human with a metal blade to ravage the trees.  She starts casting a spell and I can interrupt, attack or just wait.  I decide to interrupt and talk her down.

She breaks off from the spell and says it is easy to say I am a friend to the forest but I need to prove it.  I have to leave my sword and go and fix the garden.  I am a bit reluctant to leave my sword but I feel not doing this could go very bad for me.  So I go for it.

I leave my sword and go back to the garden and unenthusiastically start looking at the damaged plants.  Yes its Fighting Fantasy and I am gardening.  I am digging holes with my bare hands and replanting saplings.  I clear branches and fix turf, and after a while I start enjoying myself.  Is this one of those deaths where I spend the rest of my life tending the garden?  Instead Lignia appears with a group of Dryads and my sword.  She tells me to take the thing and says she trusts me.  She apologises, saying even the Wood Elves have turned against them.  So she has some gifts for me, two cages, one has a blue bird and the other has a red bird.  In an odd turn of events I put these cages in my backpack.  This has to be the strangest gifts ever.  Who puts birds in their backpack?

As I make the way deeper into the forest I contemplate what has caused all this.  I suspect its all been caused by gold hungry miners.  I also worry that I have missed the mine I should be going to.  But there are still paths heading east into the mountains so there should be more mines left.  Its getting to dusk now so I resolve to go in the morning.  As I find a clearing though I spy a huge tree with lights in it.  I then notice I have been surrounded by Wood Elves with their bows aimed at me.  Do I talk to them or run?  Ill try talking first.

These  guys have all been to the same hairdresser!

 I ask what they want but they remain silent.  Apparently I am not worried as they are friends to humans (dryads did not seem impressed).  Eventually the queen appears and I bow before her.  She asks me my business and I tell her I am here to save the day.  She tells me that they can help and I must travel east into the mountains, they can take me but I should stay the night with them.  I accept the kind offer but its pointed out that I have no choice as arrows are still aimed at me.  The queen apologises saying its hard to know who to trust these days as we form up in a marching column.  I am then asked if I have a potion of True Seeing, oh that can't be good.

I scoff down the potion, although why my character decides now is the time is beyond me.  I see the path we are on is actually a silver magical path that is winding up into the trees.  That's the good news, the bad news is that the elves are actually slave warriors.  They all wear the talisman but as we are up in the trees I can not escape and must instead pretend I have not noticed.  Well handy I just randomly decided to drink that potion!

The queen takes me to a hut and opens the door and tells me to rest here for the night and in the morning they will take me to my destination.  There is just one room with a straw mattress and I can eat a meal if I want, but I am still at max stamina.  Do I want to go to sleep or do I want to leave the hut.  Yeah I need to leave.

As I approach the door a voice says do not touch!  The voice then says do not worry, I am not a talking door, instead I am elven enchantment that hovers over the door and keeps it locked.   I will open the door if you say the right number.  I try to ask what is the right number but it is not allowed to tell me.  Instead it says it will give me a clue as life is boring now that the elves are slave warriors.  If numbers were letters my number would be left but not in little soft felt elf.  I have to work this out.

Well its been a while (4 days in fact, my daughter was staying) and I have been unable to figure this one out.  I tried changing the letters to numbers and added them up, was not right.  I then asked ChatGPT who gave me a four digit answer, do not think he has played gamebooks before.

Instead I pull up some floor boards and find myself at the very highest branch and need to climb down.  Do you have a rope?  Why yes, I do.

I tie the rope to one of the floorboards and put it across the gap and head down.  As I go down I see some of the elves in their homes and they are non responsive, clearly now slave warriors now that the illusion is not in use.  The rope ends but I am not yet at the bottom so I make it onto one of the tree's limbs.  It is now that I hear a groan coming from the trunk.  Do I want to investigate?  Well slave warriors do not make any noise so lets have a look.

The trunk is as wide as a house and when I look in I make out a sentry post.  The groans are coming from a young elf who is asleep but looks to be having a nightmare.  He still looks like a normal elf and he has normal clothes.  He has one of the stone talismans on his neck.  Should I tiptoe past or remove the talisman.  I think this guy can still be saved so I try.

I take it off and he cries out and slumps down.  It appears he is dead but suddenly he wakes up and sees the talisman in my hand which he immediately grabs and smashes it on the floor.  He is very thankful as I have saved him from a fate worse than death and lets me know the entire tribe is lost to the warlord and the portal beneath the earth.  He tells me he is going to Kleinastel to warn them of the Queens illusion and her planned attack under the guise of friendship.  He tells me there is a sentry at the bottom of the stairs and he will go first as he will not be suspected.  When I get to the bottom myself I see the slave sentry knocked out and my new friend already gone.  I head off to continue the journey.

As I escape I see the slave wood elves leading some dinosaurs from beneath the tree roots.  The queen then cast her spell and they all look normal again.  They are heading off to Kleinastel.  By the time they disappear the birds are back and its dawn.  I am very hungry, eat a provision or lose 4 stamina.  I tuck in.

Armies are on the move, so I am sticking to the forest and staying off the paths.  I see humans, goblins, elves and dwarfs as well as other nameless creatures.  All are slave warriors.  I come to a fork in the road.  One points to the Horfak and Dirlin mines and the other is Cleeverand Throke mine.  Well I have heard mention of Horfak and Dirlin so I head that way.

I am told I am approaching the centre of the evil.  I have to scurry from hiding place to hiding place to avoid the slave warriors.  Many of them here are in terrible condition, becoming skeletons.  There are also an alarming number of dinosaur creatures of various descriptions.  I peer over another rock and see the entrance to the compound with the gate having Horfak and Dirlin's name on it.  There are two guards, do you have an egg?  Nope, unless one of the birds in my backpack laid one.

Do I want to fight or climb over the spiked fence?  I decide to try the frontal approach.

Looking more closely I see the slave warriors here are just the dregs, the best ones have been sent to war.  They are aged gnomes of skill 5 and 4!  Only stamina 4 so they are easily dispatched.

The area next to the cliff is full of derelict wooden sheds.  A well trodden path leads from the gate to a hole in the cliff itself.  It is the entrance to the mine and the source of the slave warriors and creatures that are terrorizing the land.  I wait behind one of the sheds as another group of slave warriors lead a dinosaur which sounds very much like the stegosaurus on the cover through the gate.  Once they are gone I head into the mine.  I take a flaming torch and get the option to put my miners hat on with a candle in it.  Mine does not have a candle in it but I decide to put it on anyway for safety reasons.   Most of the mines are blocked by rubble and only one path seems used so I follow it.  The path eventually leads me to a large natural cavern which is dominated by three blocks of black stone, two upright and one lintel.  It is described as a massive gateway.....sounds like a portal to me!  Bet its evil.

I am rooted to the spot by the alien evil it emits.  Every inch of the black stones are covered in hieroglyphics that writhe in the flickering light.  I try to decipher them but do not recognise any of them, instead my mind is filled with terrible images.  A darkness even darker than the underground blackness of the mine hovers around it and I feel my mind being probed!  Somehow I know it is really old, Aeons old, older than all the races of Khul.  It must be destroyed.  Do you have a sack of Igneolite?  Alas I do not.

Lacking the item I instead walk into the portal and immediately get mind probed!  Only the strongest wills can survive.  Do you have a ring of Zombie Warding.  No of course not, why do you not ask me if I have two random birds?

Roll a dice 5 times and compare it to your stamina score.  1,3,5,4,3.  So it is less, just as well I have been eating.

Like a rock standing in the middle of waves my mind survives the assault!  The pulses ebb away but I have yet to feel the full power of the portal.  As my mind is too strong to be made into a slave warrior, it instead decides to transform my body.  I can not move out of the shadow of the portal so I decide to lay my possessions out in front of me, not really sure why.  I feel my flesh being touched as invisible hands squeeze and twist my limbs gauging how much is needed to reshape me.  I cry out in pain.  Do I have two caged birds with me?  YES!  

In the midst of my agony I hear the birds fluttering in panic.  The shape changing powers of the portal are being dissipated by being spread over three beings at once.  I grit my teeth and make a skill test.  I roll an 8, that was close!

Racked with pain I clench every muscle.  The birds are not so lucky as they collapse into shapeless bundles before expanding again.  The red bird is now blue and the blue bird is now red.  Ok portal, I thought you would be more imaginative than that.  The hands are tired and I have survived, but I am not released yet.  It will now try and obliterate me instead.  Pulsating clouds, darker than the darkest abyss collect round the portal and pulse over me.  I need to keep the dark at bay, how much light sources do I have?  I picked up one at the mine entrance and I also have one in my backpack which I take up, but I do not have my miners helmet light so its just two.

Test my luck, I roll 8 and just make it again.  The darkness curls around the torch but it flare up and the cold releases its ice grip.  I have survived the final attack!

Welcome to Jurassic Park, doooo, dooo, do, do do!

I pick up my possessions, the cavern is still deserted so I look through the portal.  The scene is well described but we get the picture, its another world.  My mind is struggling to comprehend how this is in a mine cave.  Well to be honest I think its pretty obvious, its a portal to another world.  Come on my dude, get with the program.  I step into the prehistoric world and get a left and right choice, but its not blind.  Left is hill country and right is jungle.  Always left.

I come across a rocky ravine and I can no longer see the portal.  I am then at a broad grassy valley.  Again a lot of dinosaurs but also some furry creatures that look like they are from Khul so it looks like its a two way portal at least at some point.  In the distance I see some smoke, should I investigate or keep going through the valley.  Ah lets try it out.

The smoke is being caused by a campfire but as I approach it is clear that a battle is in progress.  A man and dwarf are standing with their backs against a large tree as three slave warriors attack.  None of the fighters notice me, but something does.  Stepping from behind a tree, a man high carnivore called a Noasaurus eyes me up.  Do I want to leave or stay where I am.  I really want to talk to these two and find out their story and any information they have so I stay.

The Noasaurus keeps walking towards me but shows no sign of aggression.  But I am worried that it will attract the slave warriors attention.  It is now a swords length away.  Do I attack it, move away or remain motionless.  Oh maybe this is like the t-rex and it can not see you if you don't move.  Lets try that.

It kind of works and it just sniffs me before walking away, however one of the slave warriors has noticed me because of the beast and advances on me.  I notice the man and dwarf and although wounded are holding off the attacks.  But the third slave warrior does not attack me and instead points his sword at me.  He is giving me the option to surrender.  Should I?  No of course not.

Skill 7 and Stamina 8, not much of a threat but he does hit me once.  I see that the man and a slave warrior are now badly hurt but the dwarf is doing well.  Do I want to help to leave.  This is about the fifth option I have had for leaving this encounter.  I have come this far though so I go to help.

With my help the Dwarf easily dispatches the slave warrior attacking him.  Unfortunately at the same time the man and other slave collapse and die from their wounds in a double KO.  I help the dwarf bury his friend and in return he shares his meal that they were cooking with the campfire to restore 4 stamina.  I tell the dwarf my story of how I came to be here and he responds that I am the first person to make it through since Horfak who is indeed the warlord I am looking for.  He tells me to go to the end of the valley and turn right and that will take me to his citadel.  In good news most of his troops have left for Khul.  I can thanks him or ask for more information on what happened to Horfak and the dwarfs own story.  Seems rude not to ask.

He tells me that him and poor Hirnic (the dead guy I just buried and whose lunch I've eaten) worked for Horfak.  Horfak was a pretty good boss but always wanted more gold and drove them hard.  When they dug through and found the portal the dwarf and Hirnic went through and discovered this world of giant lizards.  Eventually Horfak came through as well but he was changed.  He was bigger, stronger but horrifically disfigured, a monstrosity and he keeps getting worse.  He has banned all mirrors from the citadel.   Since then the portal seems alive and anyone who goes through it goes through the same trial I had with most becoming slave warriors.  He recons the portal has been here a long time waiting for someone as greedy as Horfak but before then was just letting anyone through.  This world has tribes of all sorts such as humans, elves, dwarfs and goblins who all recon their ancestors came through the portal.  He was the last one to make it through in one piece until I did.  I ponder his words as I leave him.

I follow a stream through the valley which is so tall it hides the sun.  Eventually I come to a path on the right that zig zags up the slope.  I can follow that or the stream.  I assume this is the right that the dwarf meant.

Its Anguirus!

Oh wow it is an actual Ankylosaurus!  This one is luckily not Kaiju sized and is just basking in the sun.  He is as big as a barn though and I can not continue on the path unless he moves.  I can attack or throw some provisions.  I still have plenty of provisions and never get the chance to eat them so I throw my best cheese and onion sandwich (flora spread).  

He may have caused a minor landslide moving but he greedily goes after the food and I can get past.  I get to the top of the ridge and in the next valley is a palace.  It is so new that the blocks are still gleaming white in the sun.  It is surrounded by wooden outbuildings and this is clearly Horfaks citadel.  A lot of slave warriors are patrolling though and no safe way past them.  Do I want to wriggle into the valley or pretend I am a slave warrior zombie.

Too good an opportunity to pass up.  I pass a luck test and I am told my acting skills deserve a round of applause.  The slave warriors buy it and I shuffle down into the jungle of the valley below.

The place is deserted and the barracks are empty, no doubt in Khul for the attack.  There are still some guards going about though and all the entrances are covered.  I keep sneaking round all the outhouses until I find an unguarded entrance.  It is a wooden lattice that I lift up and descend down a staircase that has some torches to light the way.  After travelling some distance I am in the main building and at the foot of another staircase.  I can head to the upper levels or go down.  Well I think the big bad is more likely to be upstairs so I head that way.  

The stairs end in a wooden door which I go through, revealing a long corridor.  I am in the warlords palace.  I tiptoe through the palace, encountering a lot of empty rooms before finding two large slave warriors guarding a door.  These guys are the warlords bodyguards.  One used to be part of the Margrave's elite infantry and the other used to be a half orc half cave giant before the portal warped them.  Just then the doors open and the warlord steps out.  He is so hideous with his balloon shaped head that I am rooted to the spot.  The guards attack me and the warlord uses his mental powers to hold me and they kill me without a fight.  That was one long instant death paragraph. 

Moral of the story, its rude to stare.

Notable Encounters - 

I thought I did a lot in my playthrough, but I did not even scratch the surface with this book.  Its packed full of great stuff.

This is not what it looks like!

It really is not.  I thought this is clearly going to be an evil goblin with his friend that has changed into a giant spider.  Nope!  This old goblin is on his last legs and is on his way to beseech aid from the wizard, and the spider behind him is hunting him and about to eat him.  Which you can let happen and just watch but of course you can save him and get his note to the wizard as he can go no further.  You know things are bad when even the goblins are on the same side.

Nessie!

Once you get on the river, of course after meeting a dwarf and his parrot (or stealing one) you might end up with a plesiosaur trying to sink you.  Hope you know the difference between skiff or a punt, because it matters! 

Oh the mystery, who could this be?

I wish I got to the wizard as not only is it a great encounter, it is also a great lore dump.  First though you have to get on his island.  He sends a shadow over to collect some gold and you have to leave your weapon, even though the sign is a bit rubbed out.  Even then with the wrong reasons for visiting he will warp you back to paragraph 1!  When you do get to the island you can throw a stone at him to see if his real, he will not be impressed by this.

He does a lot of research and finds that the ancient forest goblins have seen the talisman before.  Thousands of years ago the goblins ruled this area but they found a source of evil, a portal to an ancient world, the beasts and goblins could move through the portal but one day a goblin war chief was changed by the portal as they took strength from each other.  He created an army of thralls, but they were defeated.  The goblin war chief had his base on the other side of the portal as anyone who stepped through would either become slaves or transformed.  But a goblin hero went through with two animals which dissipated the power and slew the war chief and buried the portal.  He guesses that the recent mine workings have uncovered it and another evil-doer has gone through, creating a new warlord.

But the best bit, the very best bit, is how he gets you into town.

A magical flying mechanical horse!

I covered most of Kleinkastel in my playthrough but somehow you can end up suspended by your feet over the river with three other people as you try and chop at each others ropes and send them into the river.  You stay dry, you win. 

The Eagles are coming!

One of my favorite encounters is when you encounter a full on pitched battle between goblins and troglodytes in the shadow of an awe inspiring multi limbed statue of the goblin god (spoilers it is in the artwork section).  You can let them fight each other or wade in and help the goblins.  Either way you eventually find yourself on the statue fighting a desperate final stand with the last two goblins when you go all Lord of the Rings and blow the eagle horn.  The eagles come and turn the tide of the battle.  Or of course you can let the goblins summon their god and the statue starts moving!

In the other world, it does not let up.  An encounter in a looted temple has an untouched idol with a hundred eyes that has a scoop for an offering.  Putting a gold piece in sets off a mechanism followed by a very wild meeting with the Mad God involving a sea of eyes in the celling and a many fingered hand which gifts you a mirrored helmet.

Nearby to the temple is a township where you can end up being a chosen warrior.  All you need to do is not flinch as all the warriors throw weapons at you, lead them on a dinosaur hunting trip and of course get a spear tattoo on your forehead.  What is it with Fighting Fantasy and facial tattoos?

Going the other way can lead you through the dungeons of Horfak's citadel which have many encounters, although most involve trying to be fed to a T-Rex.  But you can pick up some crucial allies here as well.

Queen Anxis the Hunter, She like it if you have a spear tattooed on your head.

She has been captured by Horfak who of course wants to make her his bride.  If you free her she takes out one of his bodyguard, saving you the hassle.

And this is Dirlin, another mine owner.  He has had better days.

This bear dressed as a clown has the phrase I always thought you were a bit of clown written above his cell.  You can of course attack but if you release him he reveals that he is Dirlin, once partner of Horfak.  He explains that when Horfak went through the portal it changed him and he forced all the miners to also go through.  Dirlin was too strong to be made a slave warrior but he was changed into a bear instead.  Horfak has imprisoned him and comes past from time to time to gloat.  Dirlin is not happy and wants revenge.  If you release him he will also take out a bodyguard for you.

I do not know where to even begin with this guy!

This is Azudraz, who enlists your help by claiming to be an old man with a decorative metal arm.  He explains that he is a great alchemist and was hired by Horfak to find a way to secure a way to safely store gold.  He tells me that he needs my help in the process and tells me to take gold nuggets and drop them in the tank next door, which is clearly designed to tempt you!  Do not, he has succeeded and you will be stuck.  However he is clearly insane and plans to trap us both with the gold using a creation called Igneolite, a substance that when ignited, the dust transmutes what it touches into smooth rock.  Handy for taking down an evil portal.  Just make sure to leave in time.

Artwork - 

Alan Langford has done the illustrations for this one and I have to say he is now prolific with this being his fifth book!  And I have to say this is my favorite from him so far.  If you want a dinosaur illustration, he is your man, just check out the Menagerie section.  There are no misses here, I really love it.  From my playthrough my favorite was the Dwarf that tries to rob you.  But from the notable encounters Dirlin the bear and Azudraz and his workshop are fantastic.  So is the spider hunting the goblin.  Horfak below is also wonderful, it had to be as well as his appearance is a major plot point.  

 

The Goblin God watches on as the battle rages on!

I love this piece, it is phenomenal. The battle scene is good but the multi limbed goblin god statue just gets me.  One of my all time favorites this.

The Carnivorous Ape is actually a good conversationalist!

Goblins trying to train their new pets.

Even instant deaths get illustrations.  If you see this its game over but enjoy the art and the lavish description.

Big Bad - 

No wonder I was staring!

Right, there is some debate here that the big bad should be the Portal itself.  I get that, it made Horfak into what he is and you have to destroy it to win.  But Horfak was greedy and evil before he stepped into the portal and if he had not been, none of this mess would have happened.  So I am going with him as its easier to write about than an inanimate object of unknown origins.  

For most of the book he is known only as the warlord.  We know about him and he is constantly referenced, keeping him at the forefront of your mind.  But we also know about Horfak, people are worried he is missing as he is a big deal around these parts.  If you go the right way though you start piecing together what has happened to him and how he became the warlord.   It could be a tragic tale but his lust for gold loses him any sympathy.  Well that and the enslavement of everyone.

He can not handle the change to his body and as such has banned all mirrors, trying not to be reminded of what has happened to him.  It is a great flaw to give him.

You can have two separate ending with him.  You could be leading an army of people against his slave warriors in the other world.  You jump onto his chariot and duel him.  Or you can find him in his fortress and solo him instead.  

If you just try to brute force him he is still only Skill 10 but Stamina is 20 but he uses some black magic to reduce your skill by 2.  However if he sees his reflection he is reduced to Skill 8 Stamina 10 and no skill penalty.  This is because he realises what has happened to him and starts to fight the portal.  Its so close to a redemption arc but alas the portal just turns him into another mindless slave warrior instead.

 

Menagerie - 

A lot of this book features the standard tropes of Elves, Goblins, Dwarfs etc.  Most are converted to Slave Warriors and they feature strongly in this book, they fulfil the role as clever zombies.  But where we get the variety is the staggering amount of crazy dinosaurs.  I thought I knew dinosaurs, but clearly not.  Noasaurus, Phororhacos, Stegocephalian anyone?  Peter Darville Evans must have been moonlighting as a paleontologist. 

I do know the Pteranodon though!  

The Triceratops is also a staple dinosaur that we are more familiar with.

And of course its the T-Rex!

The fight with the T-rex is pretty good as its not a traditional fight.  You are basically told you have no chance (which you would not) and the battle is just to get to the exit before it catches you.

You do have plenty of unique monster though, its not just all slaves and dinos.

Armored Mole, complete with a star nose!

A giant watersnail just waiting for you to dip your feet into a nice river.

Scurrellors are tree dwelling creatures that can electrocute you with their tails.  

Best not to get into a fight with the Dryads.

Entertaining Deaths - 

Killing the Phororhacos, turns out it was a miner called Agrid, then continuing your rampage against Gartax.  A mob of people emerge from the trees and take you down.

Putting on one of the cursed talismans found around the slaves warriors neck.  It wipes out your personality.

Getting caught by the black sticky tongue of a Stegocephalin.  It drags you in and eats you.  In good news you die of asphyxiation before your body is disintegrated by digestive juices.

Not taking a boat down the river.  You stumble into a goblin pit and get made into human stew.

Charging a bunch of Goblins, they easily encircle and kill you.

Falling asleep while waiting for the goblins to come back with your letter.  They of course kill you.

Taking a skiff instead of a punt down the river.

Attacking an outline who asks for gold.  You fall into a bottomless pit.  You fall forever more.

Refusing to give up your weapon on the wizards island.  Instead another warrior, an elf, fights you but each time you wound him the wound appears on your body.  The elf is eventually fully healed and give you his apologies as he also didn't give up his sword and now I have to wait on the edge of death until the next person comes along and makes the same mistake. 

Trying to steal money to feed yourself.  You get caught by the merchant and chained up in the Margrave's dungeon.  If they do remember about you, you get tried and executed. 

Lifting the arms on Gloten's chair in the wrong order.  A slide opens up and you go down into a dark pit as the chair goes back into position.

Having to use a hatchet to chop off your arm, it gets stuck when you try to take some gold nuggets despite you being told its a fool proof system for keeping gold safe.

The mad Azudraz drops a torch on all his igneolite fuses.  You expect an explosion but instead its dust, however, the dust changes what it touches into solid rock.  Instead of being in a workshop, you are now trapped inside a cave with no exit, with a madman.

Trying to blow up the portal before you go through, it does not go well.

Trying to steal one of the gem eyes from the mad god.  The giant god appears and turns you into one of his eyes.

Saving the forgotten world and releasing their queen and defeating the slave warriors.  Unfortunately the warlord slips away and conquers Khul.  You get to live as a hero in the new world at least! 

  

But my winner for this one is - Being turned into a Giant Scorpion by the Portal.

Pete's Corner - 

"I Like a Mirror myself"

Quick side note to say congrats to Pete who just had his second child!

Final Thoughts - 

Normally I spend this section going through all the issues with a book and it lasts a fair bit.  This section probably will not be as long as I loved this book.

I have to highlight the writing.  Oh my word, it is so good.  The length of the paragraphs is far more than the majority of books and that gives you a much better descriptive passage that lets you see the scene so much better.  The length also lets the author do more fun stuff like tell a great descriptive story.  Now the name of the book gives it away a bit but its one of those that you do not know the full story going in and it is revealed during the adventure.  Its also not the normal tale, no evil wizards here!  Telling a story where the main source of evil is an immobile object takes some doing but it works.  The world is fleshed out as well, it makes sense.  And if that's not enough, throw in another world with it's own history and stories.  Some of the best writing in the series.

The characters are fleshed out as well.  Gartax is just trying to save his people the best way he knows how.  The margrave is an arrogant pompous noble who just wants his mines back open.  Gloten is fantastic.  He is rich and so needs normality back to get his mines back online, but he also sees the big picture.  But of course he is secretly a dwarf trying to pass himself off as human and he is a terribly bad loser.  Its little things like that which gives them more life.   

The story is backed up by some great artwork, it helps tell the story as well and does not take you out of it.  Not quite Ian McCaig but its not far off.  Some are a bit simple but most are excellent.  This is very important for some of the more obscure dinosaurs.

Mechanically it is very simple.  The provisions rule is interesting, it works here as the book is not punishing and you get to eat plenty of food in other situations.  A lot of further books experiment with new mechanics but this one keeps it as simple as it gets and that is ok.  The adventure does feel like you can explore different areas but certainly the first half of the book it is a bit misleading.  If you go a certain way, all you are doing is bypassing areas, you will get to the same location eventually no matter where you travel.  For example you can head straight to the mines while avoiding the forest and the town.  The second half is more different where there are actual branching paths.

It is very fair as well, combat does not feel too difficult.  Everything is lower end of skill although some creatures have high stamina but they are all beatable.  Even historic skill 12 types like the t-rex are not a traditional combat and instead a game of survival.  There is a correct path though.  You can still go other ways and get through with harder dice rolls but there is one key item that can not be missed if you want to get to 400.

Speaking of 400 I did enjoy the touch where you refuse the prize of your weight in gold.  The whole thing has been started by greedy people digging for gold. It has all been about greed, and Horfak's in particular.  Do not worry you take a chest of gems instead.

Horfak has become one of my favorite bad guys.  Especially since he is not an evil wizard for a change.  As I said above he comes so close to redeeming himself but its too late. He looks properly horrific as well, big balloon head.  But the portal is the true mystery and we do not get any actual answers behind what it is. But I love its malevolent behavior and how it was buried for so long.  

Oh by the way the puzzle solution, there is no Left in Little Soft Felt Elf.  It turns out ef together is not there, which make it 56 (5 for e, 6 for f).  Its very clever and I would never have got it!  Thanks to the folks over at fightingfantazine.proboards.com for that one.  I know most of you come here from there but if not check it out, its great!

Now if anyone can tell me how you get the answer to Tidsiv Fuus!  Key is under mat! 

I was shocked by this one, I did not expect such a gem.  The world, characters, locations, set pieces, story, artwork, its not impossible.  This is top tier.

Score - 9 out of 10.