Background -
Puffin HQ is in turmoil, it is nothing short of a war zone. On one side are the security teams dressed in riot gear. They are armed with batons and are currently taking shelter behind upturned tables in the canteen.
On the other side, a group of disheveled writers and illustrators are armed with various things you would find in an office. Andrew Chapman is standing on a table holding a flag depicting a dead puffin in a pool of blood. Steve Jackson 2 is yelling incoherently wielding a ruler like its a sabre. Jamie Thomson and Mark Smith are lobbing staplers like they are grenades.
The security forces throw some smoke grenades and it becomes near impossible to see anything. In this lull we go behind the security forces battle line. Here we find Phillipa, her normal pristine looks are forgotten, her hair is a mess for a start. She picks up the videophone that the Puffin tech team have created and makes a call (imagine total recall). Editor Marc Gascoigne picks up the call.
Phillipa "Marc, it is chaos down here."
Marc "I can hear the noise from here, what is going on."
Phillipa "Its the writers, they are making another bid for freedom."
Marc "They can't be that much of a threat.... can they?"
Phillipa "You have no idea how resourceful they can be! Russ Nicholson has created a working gun using nothing but his pens!"
Marc " You will get it under control though, right?"
Phillipa "Yes we will, but this has meant a delay in publications. I need you to put a book together."
Marc "What me? You know I just write the background books and edit the rest?"
Phillipa "Exactly, you are always complaining about all the editing you have to do! Who better to write a book than you?"
Marc "Well if you think so, I could use some of the stuff from Titan and..."
Phillipa "Great just get it done, and quick! They are making another push! Robin Waterfield has made the photocopier into a tank."
Released in early 1998, Battleblade Warrior is the one and only gamebook entry from Marc Gascoigne. He has been editing though and is also responsible for the sourcebooks, Out of the Pit and Titan. Titan had a huge effect on me when I was young. I would reserve it from the library and if someone else had it we would all go to the library with them when it was due to be returned. He also writes the next Chadda Darkmane novels. I never played this one though. My mate had it though as I remember the striking cover and thinking it looked awesome. Really excited to play this one finally!
Covers -
I like to find some comedy in these but this is just wonderful. Even his gold disk armour which protects his lizard nipples.
Premise -
A picture in the intro before we even start our adventure! This is a first! |
Vymorna Besieged - The city of Vymorna is under siege by the might of the Lizardman empire. This has been going on for a whopping six years. Men and Women defending the walls are exhausted from starvation. Every pace would cost the Lizard King's armies hundreds of casualties. But they can afford such losses. Does this mean we never beat the Lizard King? Mungo was never avenged! Oh wait it says later the armies of the Lizard Kings, plural.
Inside the City - My mother is Queen Perriel, who now commands the cities defences as my father, Alexandros the Second was killed by a poisoned javelin while leading a counter attack.
My mother used to be a beautiful women but my fathers death has made a warrior out of her. Her eyes are red ringed by lack of sleep, for every night she prays to the gods for help. But there has been no answer, it is as if the there is a war in the heavens that evil is winning that as well.
I have also had to step up, riding into battle alongside my mother. But I also help out with wounded. The great hall of the castle is filled with wounded warriors and starving women and children. Food is scarce and the rationed.
Troubled Dreams - If it was bad enough that the nights are full of crashing rocks and sulphur bombs, the Lizardmen are also sending spirits and demons. They scream and shout throughout the night and magic storms of thunder and lighting make sleep a very rare commodity.
However this night I fall asleep. After putting out a fire in the south tower I do not bother to go back and just find a corner and pulled my cloak over myself and had a good sleep. When I wake up, its far too quite. There is no noise and no fighting. I say a Allansia swear "By Telak's Golden Sword!" Does not seem too bad to me. I would have said by Zagor's hairy sack.
In a very awkward moments Telak and his giant lion are here, he sees the funny side though.
The Task of Telak - I immediately get on my knees in front of the god of all who bear arms against evil. He tells me not to be afraid and explains the situation. The forces of evil have him under siege as well, preventing him coming to Vymorna's aid. What they need is an earthly victory to divert the attention of the Lizard Kings dark masters which will free up Telak.
He tells me to go to Durtelakin, Telaks Mount, one of the twin peaks in the Lion heights far to the north east (well it was never going to be close was it). I am looking for a weapon and to seek a man called Laskar. Telak then gets distracted and the lion growls before he says he must defend his own gates now. He says he will send help where he can and then the world turns back to the mess it was before.
The Mission - My mother decides that all the omens are with me. Nobody is happy about it but they agree it is the best course of action. I will leave a few hours before dawn to give myself the best chance of getting through the encampment. I just reply "I was chosen, mother" and leave to prepare.
Playthrough -
It is as standard as you can get, Skill, Stamina and Luck are all normal. We get no equipment information and you are limited to only being able to carry 4 provisions at a time. At this stage I am not told if I have any. No potions either, it is quite stripped back. You can only eat when the book tells you as well and only 1 meal at a time!
The adventure sheet is pretty run of the mill, with an items and special items. I think I will just use the stats in my book though.
Must be some dice they are using! |
Skill - 9
Stamina - 21
Luck - 11
Well I am a pretty average swordsman, the lack of sleep must be an issue. Plenty stamina and luck though so hopefully can help me through this. Lets see if I can at least get past the siege.
Despite the bombardment at night I actually have a decent rest. As the moon sets I am in my mothers room and this is where I get kitted out. I have sturdy clothes but minimal armour so I can move quickly. A strong cloak to keep me warm at night. A large rucksack with 4 provisions, my trusty sword and a hunting knife.
Mother then reveals three chests, containing items that belonged to my father. I can take two to help with the quest. Really mum? Only two? The whole fate of the city rests on this quest and I can not take them all? I mean the one you keep might help with the siege, in which case why has it taken 6 years to crack them out!?
Anyway once I stop ranting at her I look at the options. The choice is a bow with three silver arrows, a bottle containing a pale liquid and a globe filled with a swirling cloud of dust specks. First off I choose the bow and arrows, my skill is not the best so hoping it can help.
The bow is made of finely worked bone and has many charms. If I use an arrow I will be guaranteed almost to destroy the target, but must cross off an arrow each time its used. Does not say how to use it though so hopefully will get the options in game.
For the other item I choose the globe, since it sounds random, hopefully in true Fighting Fantasy it turns out to be what I need.
Well turns out to be full of glow worms. Just need to shake it to get about 5 minutes of light. Well hopefully I end up in a dark dungeon.
Next we start talking exit strategies. The learned experts of the city advise talking a group of warriors with me and fighting our way out then head North and then East to my goal. Alternatively I can do the same but myself and try and sneak through. Or head to the docks, steal a boat and head up the river before turning east.
Hmm this is interesting, I think the learned experts are mad. I would sally forth if we are knights with horses but with my skill 9 that sounds like suicide. I do like the idea of sneaking, but I am sure if that was possible would we not have tired that in the last 6 years? Lets try and get a boat.
Straight into a test your luck roll, thinking it will be easy, but I roll an 11 and only just pass. I get on a boat and just like that I am free of Vymorna. Wow that was straightforward. I get 2 luck back as well. The Vymorn river means dark waters due to the black silt washed down from the Lion Heights. Next choice is hug the North bank, the South bank or stay in the middle.
I stick to North and it starts to turn into a jungle. No sign of any Lizardmen yet though. Suddenly there is an angry shout and I manage to avoid some arrows. A big ship sails past in the middle of the river and disappears.
I merrily keep rowing along, past the Lizard river. Everything seems to be going swimmingly when three vessels appear and head towards me.
The boats are full of swamp goblins who start shooting blow darts at me. I get the option to use my bow but I feel that would be a waste. I try to take evasive action instead and it is a skill test. A roll of 7 is a pass. I am only hit by 1 dart for 1 stamina as I make my escape.
The river starts to turn into white water rapids, do I want to keep going or head to the bank. I think we have been on the river long enough.
On the bank I can head into the jungle to go straight towards my goal, or skirt around it. Well I think the jungle would be home to the Lizardmen so I decide to skirt around.
As I make my way I see another city on fire in the distance. Do I want to keep going or head into the jungle. I suspect this means I should head into the jungle as the Lizardmen armies are clearly abroad here.
As I head in the monkeys are agitated, a strange growl sounds ahead of me. Do you want to retrace your steps. Hmm neither option is appealing. I avoided the jungle for a reason so I go back and head north.
There I am starting to tire, my courtly upbringing means I am a bit weak. Vultures are circling so I decide to investigate what has them interested.
At last, a picture! Looks like one of my previous adventures. |
I can loot some provisions from the body but I still have the maximum I am allowed.
As I make my way, I get the option to eat, and also to hunt as I may be low on provisions. Nope not at all.
I am now a sweaty mess and as the going get tougher I come across a triceratops. I am told I have no hope of sneaking past but can try anyway, or find another route. Well yeah, I do not fancy tangling with a dinosaur so I go to look for another way.
And walk straight into a T-rex. I pass a skill test to allow me some other options rather than a fight. I try and lure it back to the triceratops. I have to pass a luck test which I manage.
That is one demonic looking Tyrannosaur! |
So the T-Rex is Skill 14 Stamina 19 and has 3 attacks! The Triceratops is Skill 12 Stamina 18 with 2 attacks. This makes it certain death. However the stats are there to replicate their fight for fun, in the meantime I leg it. I must admit I absolutely crapped myself there.
Its getting late so I need to find a place to crash for the night. As luck would have it I see the light of a campfire. Its a gypsy caravan, do I want to approach or wait for a bit and watch. Well don't want to be a creeper so lets go and say hi.
Hi! |
I am immediately invited into the caravan. It is full of oddities like bats hanging from hooks and glass jars filled with, well I don't know it just says amazing things. His name is White-eye, the trader. In order to stay the night I need to tell him my story.
Well, why not. I give him the tale so far and despite animal howls from outside he assures me we are safe here. He says he can give me a hint about Laskar but I need to trade for it. I have picked up nothing, none of the assortment of odd trinkets.
I have a great sleep and bid farewell to White-eye. I make my way into the jungle and pick up four provisions, if I need. I do not. Eventually I sit down for a meal and have to lose 1 provision.
As the sun beats down I make my way onward. I startle a small panther and terrify us both. For some reason this paragraph (94) has this [**] in it. I do not know why. Who edits the editor? Eventually I reach a swamp, do I want to camp or try and go deeper to find drier ground. Who camps in a swamp?
I make my way through the swamp and then...
Swampy! |
It is at this stage I realise this must be as far as I have ever gone without getting into a fight. The Swamp Mutant wants a fight though. Skill 10, Stamina 16. Oh my, this could be all over already. Right come on dice, need you to be kind....rolls snake eyes....sigh.
I win the next two and use luck both times to get him down to 8. The dice are then super kind and I leave the fight with 17 stamina! I regret using the luck now.
This nights sleep is not as great and I wake up face down in the mud. In good news I am back up to 4 provisions with some foraging. I am told I should be able to see the Lion Heights, do I want to climb up a tree and check? Ok.
I see the glorious jungle all around, the mountain is less than a days walk away. There is a yellow mist to the south so that does not sound good. I get the option to stay up the tree, hmm that sounds like a trap so I head down.
My pleasant walk through the jungle is broken by having to make a skill roll. It turns out one of the animal calls I hear sounds fake. A group of panther warriors jump out. There are five of the natives and each are skill 5 and stamina 6 and attack two at a time. However if they win two combats in a row I need to go to a page.
They do hit me twice but not together and the massacre is complete. Luckily I get to eat some provisions. I then fail a luck test...
Now I can not get away from fights! |
The Lizardman and his Pterodactyl both attack at the same time, Skill 6 and 7 but he flies away after 6 combat rounds. No problem I feel, well I was wrong, he jabs me with his javelin plenty times and I and I am down to 11 stamina before he flies off.
Nope! |
I don't know what is going on with that city? Did it collapse? |
Stone warriors, another sure sign someone is coming to life! |
I feel their eyes watching me but they make no move. Another fake out! I come to a room with three large slabs that have been used for some gruesome purpose. But again I am told nothing to see here which is odd ad another blind choice of left and right. Same choice as always.
And you can even be picked up by one of these guys! |
This lovely lady is trying to have a slime bath. |
Its not a promising start meeting Lecarte, since he kills your mount and some choice language is used. |
Turns out Orcs have to bite the deceased! |
A really bizarre encounter. |
This is my favorite though, the Lizardman ship on the river. |
The pursuing Lizardmen also look very cool! |
The Snakemen that stake you out, less cool. |
Live war reporting from the siege of Vymorna. |
Loads of these guys going around. They have upgraded from running mines on remote islands. |
The champions is Skill 12, Stamina 18 and two attacks. He has loads of arms! 99% of the time the heat of the battle will save you and you get knocked apart. You are not beating him. |
Two headed Lizards also show up a lot, like this massive priest! |
6 limbed stealing monkeys anyone? Known here as Krell. |
The Warrior King of the City. He has been corrupted, plus you need his emeralds. |
I really like the Ishkarim. Unique in that they have bone spider lower halves and demon top half. Very creepy with the noise they make when they appear. |
Well if I was to base this on my playthrough I would have had this as one of the worst. But it turns out it was just the way it went.
I want to say how much I enjoyed the introduction and background. The set up of the siege, the history and then the dream with Telak and the last desperate gamble to save the city, is a brilliant setup and one of my favorites.
I do like Marc Gascoigne's writing. His descriptions are excellent, such as in the collapsed city. The part with all the fanged elf skulls really had me hooked. It was unfortunate that I went the way I did to the harbor as the other options of escaping the siege are much better. But at least that adds a bit or replay ability to the book. His descriptions of the Orc funeral are also a great highlight, it is such a great encounter if you play it through.
But that is where the problems lie. The writing for a story is good, however for fun of playing a gamebook, erm, not so much. I go back to my example of the brilliantly described collapsed city. Most of the time you do not actually do anything, other than pick a random left and right choice once you have looked through the room. There is the problem where you can bypass the best parts of the book like escaping the siege and the orc funeral. There just is not much to do and when you get to make a decision a lot of the time its a blind left or right type choice.
Mechanics wise, I like the limitations on provisions, its a lot more realistic. The only other parts are your fathers gifts. I feel more could have been done with them. I could only find one part where to use the glowing globe, and that was when a panther is climbing up a tree and is not the best way to deal with that situation.
I do like Alan Langford's art here. I think the problem is I have been spoiled elsewhere but this is absolutely fine and the more I look at the more I enjoy it.