Saturday, January 6, 2024

Star Strider

Background - 

The Puffin executives are assembled.  They are all in suits apart from a few who appear to be wearing high ranking military uniforms.  They stand in an operations centre behind some thick glass shielding, looking down at the room below.

The room is filled with scientists scurrying about making last minute adjustments at computer terminals and various parts of the large mechanism that dominates the room.  It is a portal type structure very much looking like a stargate, except the film has not been made yet so they don't know its a stargate so can not be done for copywrite.  The device splutters with sparks and blue lightning.

Ian and Philippa are in the corridor outside, away to enter the room but Ian is clearly agitated. 

Ian "You know it's not ready!  If this goes wrong it could destroy reality as we know it!  The risk is too high!"

Philippa "We need more books Ian!  This project is the next closest to completion so we are going for it!  We have invested a huge amount into this.  The generals will want to see results!"

Ian "We do not need any more books, nobody is completing Crypt of the Sorcerer, its impossible!"

Philippa "That will just delay them.  They will just give up and throw it away.  No we need fresh content or kids pocket money will go to the next big thing.  We can not give them a moment to think!"

Ian "But even at the risk of the very fabric of reality itself?"

Philippa looking bemused as if Ian had said something stupid "Yes, of course."

With that she swipes her card on the security door and enters the room overlooking the stargate.  

Philippa "Gentleman (its the mid 80s so it's all old men), welcome to the launch of the Star Strider project.  From here we will traverse the expanse of space and pull back what our calculations show is that galaxies greatest gamebook writer."

Suit 1 "Very ambitious Philippa.  We have a lot invested this."

Philippa "And you will see that investment rewarded."

Philippa makes a signal for the lead scientist to begin.  Ian slowly backs out of the room, intent on getting as far away as quickly as possible.

The stargate whirs into life, loud noises and blue electricity dominate the room.  Then a humanoid figure pushes through the liquid centre of the stargate.  Everyone stares in awe.

Suit 2 "Are you sure that's someone from another galaxy, he looks just like us?"

Scientists hold up beeping equipment to the bemused looking man.  Lots of beeping ensures.

Lead Scientist "Yep these readings confirm, this being is from Messier 83 galaxy.  Hello, can you understand us?"

Mystery Being "Yes."

Suit 2 "And he speaks English, of course."

Mystery Being "Where am I?"

Lead Scientist "A planet called Earth in what we call the Milky Way galaxy."

Mystery Being "Why?"

Philippa bursts into the room "To write a great gamebook."

Mystery Being "Really?  Well I guess I could do that.  Can I go home afterwards?"

Philippa "Sure you can, let me take you to our writing studio.  What is your name?"

Mystery Being "Alkis Alkiviades"

Philippa "Yeah, that wont work here, you need a new alias."

She looks him up and down, marveling at the nice looking alien clothes.

Philippa "Looking Sharp there, wait that's it, Luke Sharp.  Welcome to Earth."

With that everyone trundles out of the lab congratulating each other.  The janitor who is cleaning up some of the mess grumbles.

Janitor "Ok he might be the best gamebook writer of that galaxy, but what happens if everyone else there was rubbish?"

Star Strider was released in May 1987 and is one I have never played before.  The Sci-Fi ones never appealed to me but as I have played through these books they were nowhere near as bad as I thought.  It's another new author.  But when I had a look in You are the Hero, Luke Sharp is actually a gentleman named Alkis Alkiviades.  The name was changed as back in the 80s they thought someone with a name like that could not possibly write a gamebook in English.  Now I love the 80s but I am very glad thinking like that is more a thing of the past.  I always look forward to a new author though and Sci-Fi books normally have interesting extra mechanics.

Covers - 


Well if I asked MidJourney to produce an image based on the prompt of a green alien with a glowing electricity sword and a gun, while surfing down a futuristic tunnel, I would not have got anything this good.

It is actually quite an underrated cover when I think about it as it is not one I would normally pick up, but looking at it now it really is quite something.  Although I still do not really have any clue to what's going on here.  Impressive balance though.  I would fall off and impale myself on the laser sword.

Only thing though is that he does look a bit like the Grinch.





I let Midjourney have a go and it was not half bad.  The AI revolution is getting closer!  But don't worry it can't handle the surf board aspect yet, we are still safe....for now. 

Premise - 

First up we get a definition of a Rouge Tracer - A hunter of fugitives, criminals and wanted beings who have a price on their heads.  Formally known as bounty hunters.  Licensed by the Tracebeam Organisation.  Elite Rouge Tracers are known as Star Striders.  From the Encyclopedia Galactica.

Ah so what you are saying is I am Boba Fett?  Ok this sounds cool so far.

The background section in this book is replaced with a much more thematic mission.  It is like you are sitting at a mid 80s computer terminal.

President Xerin of the Galaxy One Federation has been kidnapped by the Gromulans.  Wow not just any president but the one from Galaxy One!  Not Galaxy 327.  He has been taken to Earth in order for him to be brain scanned.  The Zand Corporation assures us that his cephaloprotector will hold out for 48 hours.  After then the computer defence codes will be compromised and the pesky Gromulans will pass the data onto the Empire of the Purple Flag!  

I am the best Rogue Tracer is Sector 6 and currently sit 97th on the galactic money-making table.  If I accept I will get my standard rate.  I like how they talk about money before the mission.  

Anyway the mission if you choose to accept it is to locate the President and get him out.  Spacefleet 7 will be hanging about Earth orbit for my signal.  Please note that the successful completion of you mission will make you very rich but if you do not accept Tracebeam will stop sending you more work.  

Please indicate you acceptance of the mission, and then a Y/N DOS prompt appears.

N

Score 1 out of 10.

Only joking of course we press Y (this is still the mission background so I did not have a choice).  

Because we have accepted we get a little more data.  The Gromulans are humanoid, hyper-intelligent people of unknown origin that only usually dabble in the much smaller scale, world terrorism.  They are Android building experts and masters of illusion.  They built the Illus-o-vision 70 (wow that name), for the Galaxy Ents Corporation but they swindled the Gromulans on the copywrite so they have now invented the Illus-o-scope.

The Gromulans will be expecting a rescue attempt so be careful but there are some Androids that are undercover and will help you.  But maybe not as the Gromulans are really good at turning Androids to their cause.

Earth is now a small insignificant planet that was once heavily populated but now most of humanity have migrated to Alphacent.  Its only source of credits are servicing freight cruisers and mining salt.  The Gromulans have been using it as a base since the last centaury.  

Alas your Phozon crystal does not work in this solar system so can't pinpoint locations.  You will have to signal the fleet once the president is found.  The remoteness of Earth and lack of sensors has meant there are a lot of fugitives there, so might be able to do a bit of bounty hunting on the way.

So a little bit of a break here from me just to say what the hell is going on?  Some information is repeated, others make no sense as there is not any context and my god, those device names.  Makes me feel like this is like one of those terrible early 70s Doctor Who episodes.  

Wait, is this actually a comedy?

Next we get a likely enemies section - 

Gromulans - 

Gromulans would rather surrender than get in a fight.  They specialise in deception and can talk the three hind legs of a Wooki.  Wait a what?


They have now settled earth despite being nomadic and are developing there Ilussion-o and Android tech.  They have an addiction to chess and small earth snails.  

Gromulan Androids - 

The power base of the Groms.  Ok if the book is calling them Groms so am I.  Basically stay away from Excel Class, they are very dangerous.  All others will be fine (Word, Outlook, PowerPoint etc),  but if its Excel class find a weak point.  The Groms are very paranoid so have built in weak points  just in case.  Oh and all Androids can self destruct.  Wonderful.

Fugitives and Criminals - 

You may meet anyone from a tax dodging Ferian to a Pirate Prince.  If they suspect you of being a Rogue Tracer they will run or attack.  But you operate within galactic law so can not kill any humans (what about other races?) and if I do I will be a fugitive and hunted down.  

Houlgans - 

Ok tongue in now firmly in cheek if it was not already.  Local feuding gangs who base their fanaticism on a long forgotten religion which revolved around colours of clothes and scarves.  They move about in hordes.  Do not wear a coloured scarf or they will take offence.  Notorious ones include are R'al (Real Madrid, L'Pool (Liverpool) and G'ners (Arsenal who are the Gunners).  Juve also get a mention who are pretty much already called that and Stienn, not sure who they are meant to be.  Probably a German team.

Illusory monsters and demons - 

Groms love this sort of thing.  Always remember that an illus-o-scope will be nearby.  You WILL be frightened, Grom illusions have been known to make a Brontian take fright and can also be very large scale.

Weapons - 

Rogue Tracers do not carry personal arms.  No of course they do not, what self respecting galactic bounty hunter would want weapons.....  Instead they use the Catchman which was designed by Ulidor Zonie.  It shoots out a fine plastic which pretty much makes a net to immobilise your target.  Slight problem, the Catchman is very unreliable with a 33% failure rate which seems ridiculously high for a weapon of choice for a Bounty Hunter that is carrying no other weapons!  It says we are trained in the use of all weapons, which just makes it even more dumb that I am not using any.  97th on the galactic money maker table, out of how many?  98?

Oh boy, not sure about this one.  It seems laced with comedy and satire which I do not mind normally but not sure I want that in a Fighting Fantasy book.

Playthrough - 

Ok time to pay attention as when reading through your usual skill, stamina, luck section, at no point does it not say you can not go above your initial scores.  Absolutely about time! 

No fancy combat mechanics other than if you roll a double 6 against an android you find its weak point and deactivate it.  Sounds fun but I can tell you the chances of a double 6 for me in combat are so remote.  

We also get a Fear score, works the same as luck and determines how scared you are of the Groms illusions.  It does say that the fear score stays the same throughout the mission so it does not reduce each time you test like in other books.

Time is also introduced for the first time since I think Seas of Blood?  We start with 48 time units and if it hits zeros you automatically lose as the Groms have extracted what they need from the Presidents brain.  Oh my god is this going to be like 24?

I have decided we are trying to save President Palmer.

Also the adventure sheet is quite futuristic looking with the time counter to be marked down.  However there is also an oxygen counter which is a bit worrying.  Absolutely no kit or provisions or anything like that.  Do I even have the Catchman weapon?  Who knows.

Instead there is a box for Clues and another box for Calculations (joy).

Skill - 10

Stamina - 19

Luck - 11

Fear - 12

Well that is pretty average Skill and Stamina, probably what you would expect for the 97th best bounty hunter.  I am quite lucky though which is probably why I got this gig.  One thing though is that I am not scared of anything!  Bring on your crappy illusions Groms for I have balls of steel!

Right lets get going, better not wear my Ab'deen scarf though just in case.

That dude on the left better reign in his look before we have a problem!

I park my shuttle in the bay and head over to a dirty looking ticket office.  Nobody is around so I have to bang on the glass.  An out of date Android eventually appears and has trouble understanding me.  Eventually it gives me a ticket for the shuttle after I give out my credit card.  It says that will do nicely.  

I get on the shuttle and there are only five other people on board this twenty seater.  I get directed to my seat and given then safety brief.  The book tells me I sit on something sticky.  Everything sounds very run down and shabby.  The steward offers me a cocktail or some food.  Can I not have both?  Well better not drink on the job so I ask for some food.  It is offered as a cube, and gives me 1 stamina and wow we are over the initial stamina!

The shuttle eventually lands in a desolate area of sector 3.  The station is very empty, a left over from the days of bigger shuttles.  I can head over to the abandoned looking ZipCar stand, follow the rest of the passengers out to the Silverhound public transport.  Or go and speak to the android Sweepertron cleaning the place.  Well that sounds oddly specific so I go for it.

It just drops its vacuum and walks out a side door and I follow.  It hits the code match and I find out he is an informant android.  It tells me that the Groms are based in four cities and the Silverhound bus is the only mode of transport to all cities.  The ZipCar company (Rocket-a-Hire) has withdrawn services due to a lack of demand.  All high level Groms are linked to all the bases using ComTerms, try and get access to one of the terminals.  Then he just blows himself up!

Woah there dude!  What are you doing?  Just keep working undercover!  No need to immolate yourself!

Bit wild that.  Time to get on the bus.

Greyhound busses have come a long way.

All the passengers from the shuttle are on board.  Listening in to their conversation they are sales reps for salt mining equipment.  I fall asleep watching Galactic Ent adverts.  At this point I wonder if they are Ents like Treebeard in Lord of the Rings but futuristic.  Really need an illustration of these guys!  My power nap cost me 2 time units.  I wake up as the bus is pulled over by the local GromPol androids.  When they check my ID and that I am a Rouge Tracer they escort me of the bus.  I can make a run for it or follow them.  Well I have done nothing wrong so I go with them.

They take me into their craft and the Grom commander asks who am I tracing.  Do I remain silent or give him a name.  Erm I do not have a name so I remain silent.  In good news apparently this is ok as Rogue Tracers never give out names.  Well being the 97th best Rogue Tracer you would think I would already know that, or I don't know, have it mentioned in the background.

The commander reacts as you would expect.

Erm wait a minute.  This is an illusion yeah, yeah?

Its clearly an illusion and it does not scare me so I get back on the bus.  How very odd.  Another two time units are used as I watch someone else watching a Galactic Ents Soap.  Which honestly sounds more fun at this stage.

The bus stops at a diner called Julio's for a spot of breakfast.  When looking at the various food cubes I lock eyes with Kinta Lopsti, an escaped prisoner who I originally put behind bars.  He immediately makes a run for it.  Do I stay or give chase.  Well I am not going to move up the list from 97th best bounty hunter by letting scum like Kinta Lopsti get away!

I fire my Catchman but of course it misfires as its useless.  You had to roll 5+ on 1d6.  Its a fist fight instead but he is only skill 6 so I take him down with ease.  I store his unconscious body in a nearby cellar and mark him for collection later.

When I get back to Julio's everyone is watching me as they know what I am.  That's right, the 97th best bounty hunter in the sector.   Julio himself asks if I got him and I can reply or just eat away.  I am nice enough though and reply.  He is pleasant enough and is glad to have a Rogue Tracer around as he only sees Groms and criminals these days.  Apparently the remaining humans are treated as second class citizens.  He then tells me about his son who is a Houlgan based in Madrid.  But he is a good lad really.  Jose 90 is his name.  With that I gain a luck point and head back to the bus.   Back on board I see a Gromulan getting served an omelette and realise I never actually ate so lose 1 stamina point.

Before we get to Madrid I listen in to the reps dirty stories of the pleasure planet of Luxurus.  We arrive in Madrid and I get off the bus.  I see a sign for services and head towards that.
  
A map!  With very straight lines....

Most services have been cancelled due to lack of interest so it looks like all we have is a straight line from Madrid, to Rome, to Paris to London.  And then back again.  Seems quite sparse, almost like a limitation of being in a gamebook.  Two more time units used up.  As I am checking this out an Android comes over and signals the CodeMatch pulse!  Remember though some Androids are turned.  The other Android did not approach me, I had to go to him so I am very suss.  Lets follow him first.

Right enough the Android goes over to some Groms, lucky they have no idea what I look like.  The Android moves on and I can follow him or go up to some Houlgans.  Now if this was real life I would be giving the Houlgans a massive wide berth.  Even large groups of them normally struggle to have a single brain cell between them.  But this is a gamebook and I have the name of a Houlgan that happens to contain a number between 1-400 so I know what I am going to do.

They surround me and ask for credits but the leader has 90 on his neck so we know who he is.  If we know his name multiply letters in his name by the tattoo number.  I make that 360.  

Jose is shocked I know his name.  I explain how I am mates with his dad from the diner so they take me out for a meal.  Its a lovely sea food option which gives me 3 stamina points back.  

They also hate Grom's so they want to help.  I let them know I need to get access to one of the terminals and they have two ideas.  The Plaza de Toros which is open only for Androids or the Hacienda which is less heavily guarded.  Hmm lets go for the option that is easier and not named after a bull.

Ah very pretty.

Another two time units and we are at the hacienda.  It is however covered with laser beams.  Ah so a Skill test I would assume.  Nope, roll a dice.  Then if you roll another dice and the number is the same you hit the beam.  Its not just one test either, you have to do this three times.  

I fail with the very first test rolling 2 twice.  Once I hit the beam everything goes fluid and I am on a giant chessboard.  I am being chased by a black knight.  He is right behind me and a pawn in front of me.  I can either move to the left or stay still.  Well a pawn cant take me unless its diagonal and the knight has to go left or right so I stay still.

This is correct and the Knight goes off to the side which lets me jump off the chessboard.  Things then go back to normal and I hide from some Grompol patrols.  Do I then get to look back at the hacienda with maybe some time penalty?  Nope the bus is due to leave so I head back to the station.

Alas when I get back to the station the bus is full.  I show my Rogue Tracer ID and an Android decides to kick an elderly lady off so I can get on.  Wow what a dick I am haha.  I have to sit next to an Excel but unfortunately the locals are very rowdy and drunk so I do not get any rest.  Another two time units down.  Now at 38 left for those counting.

We arrive in Roma and its an absolute dump.  The only option is to go to a fast food and sleep unit.  Going in causes the robot voice of that will do nicely again.  I have some horrible duck mush while a women stares at me.

Erm hello?

And then she shuts the door to her sleep unit and I do the same.  Gain 6 stamina points.  I am now sitting at a record 28 stamina points.  In the morning I can follow her or hurry on for my search.  Not really much info of what hurry on a search means so I decide to be a creepy stalker.

She knows I am following but Roma is busy and I get stopped by a Grompol to check my ID.  But I pass my luck test and I catch up with her.  And I know her!  A Rogue Tracer by the name of Arana.  No word if she is higher or lower than 97th.  She has been hired by the Groms to go after Orvium Egburg who has stolen some firmware.  He is in Roma and she suspects there is vital information on the chips so I decide to tag along.

However we immediately split up!  Do I want to go to the Roxyrama or Gino's Club?  Always got to head to the club.  I stop for an ice cream and run foul of some more police.  Again I feel I have done nothing wrong so I see what they have to say.  A Grom uses an illusion to make himself good looking, ok I guess.  Turns out they are also after Orvium so happy to help me.  I get to the other side of the road block.

Turns out Gino's is in a really bad part of town.

These Android gangs are notorious, early experiments of Grom personality experiments now on the prowl for spare parts.  I do not even get an option to talk or fight, its just which way do you run, left or right.  Always left.

They catch me and rob me.  But its not as bad as it sounds.  They find my ID and take me back to the main gang.  I explain my reason for being here and turns out they really hate the Groms so want to help.  They saw the presidents craft near the salt mines.  They can help me get there.  Or do I keep looking for Orvium and my fellow rouge tracer.  Nah, the mission is to get the president and this is the best lead so far so I agree to their help.

By help, they mean take me to a used car salesmen.

Honest Luig Six tells me he cant sell me any of these cars as its banned by Grom law.  My Android mates take him aside and "persuade" him.  So I get my Zip Car and speed away above the city heading North.

As I get to the Salt Flats, an old Grom ship hails me and tells me to stop.  Normally I would but now I have done something wrong by being in the car.  Its also described as an old model with stuff stuck on it, which does not sound legit.  So time to fight.

Turns out they are Bandits.  The Zip Car fight works like a normal fight but I do not actually lose stamina.  It is only Skill 7 and is easily dispatched.  

I land at the salt mines and find the remains of the presidential droid.  I plug the recall chips into my chronograph and see the last moments from the androids viewpoint.  A clue with the Grom pilot, Q867 RT88 20KK 169A.  Apparently these are London area codes (and probably page references).

And then look up to see a real craft shooting to kill.

Do I want to dive into a salt trench or run for the car?  Well I imagine if I go for the car its going to be blown up and I think I need it so I go into the Salt trench.  Turns out the walls are not solid and I kick one down and find a conveyer belt full of salt heading back to Roma, so I sit down and go back to the city via the conveyer belt.  Not what I expected.   Add to stamina for good measure, now up to a ludicrous 30.

I get back to the city after using up 2 more time units.  The androids at the factory do not care as they are dedicated to their jobs.  Which ladder do you want to climb up, left or right?  

You know I went left.  I pop out in the middle of a street and just avoid a zip car.  The chronometer beeps as the bus is due to leave for Paris.  Do I go back or continue my investigation.  Well I need to get to London so I guess Paris is on the route.

No need to kick out any old people this time as only 2 other passengers head to Paris, both Androids.  Another 2 time units spent but 3 stamina added.  Apparently the Groms think the founding of Roma is related to their race.  Not sure what is meant by that bit of flavor.

The bus then gets attacked!

Not sure what I am paying Silver Hound for but the driver asks us for help so me and the androids head to the weapons.  I have two to shoot down in a special encounter.  I shoot them down and when I turn around I see all the androids self destructing, including the pilot.  I run in and switch auto pilot on but alas its broken and wont stay on.  Through no choice of my own, my character decides to give it a kick, which means take a luck test.

My kick is successful and the auto pilot works.  I gain 6 more stamina and lose 2 more time units as we role into Paris.

Paris is overgrown and as I fly over I see an old highway jam packed with retro cars.  Apparently it was the scene of the worlds biggest traffic jam.  As someone that went to Paris this year (to watch Scotland in the rugby world cup, we got mauled by Ireland) the traffic is beyond mental.  It makes no sense!  So Luke must have also been there at some point!

Alas when I land in Paris I am arrested for unauthorized flying.  Yeah no more playing nice, I decide to attack rather than suffer such a grave injustice.  The first android goes down before I have to properly fight the other skill 8 Grompol Android.

I only get hit once but I have soooo much stamina by now it makes no difference to me.  As I flee the scene I can either hide in a warehouse or go down a manhole cover.  I have no interest in going down a sewer dungeon so into the warehouse I pop.

Its an android factory, but only thing moving is a forklifttron, sigh.  Which door do you want to go through, left or right.  Yet again no indication or any clues.  I stick to left and I am in a laser room.  I have to get past 6 rooms of lasers.  To do this role a dice for each room.  If I role the same number back to back, its death.

First dice I roll is 2, and the very next throw is also a 2.... I am hit by a laser and its game over.  Thank God its over.

Notable Encounters - 

I am going to have to stretch my definition of notable here.  Ok you can come across a robot that needs some help from some Houlgans.

He is just trying to move some boxes!

His name is Wil-1, so we name him Willi.  He is really bad at moving boxes and keeps dropping them and all around seems a bit useless.  Except he is a monster in combat, taking down Excels and everything with no worries.  He gets you into his masters house no problem and lights tunnels with his eyes.  All the time while slowly breaking down.  If you stay loyal to him though he eventually shuts down and you are lost in the dark so you have to do the dick move of leaving him before then.

Cowboy Beebop!

This Excel is holding a town hostage in fear as he thinks he is in a western.  You can get into a old school gun fight with him, and shoot him in the back and the entire town helps take him down, with the aid of a car gun.

At one point you can end up in a Groms house, and its really odd.  You can go in multiple directions and they all end in a crazy encounter involving an illusion such as a spiked ball smashing into a water tank.  Its all pretty strange and you end up having to play chess.

Androids in Madrid love a bull fight.

Yep you can end up being a matador (inadvertently).  Once you escape you can end up in a flight with oxygen running out through some random coloured rooms...yeah.

The final act is the London Underground.

So the big finale is a riding a hoverboard through the ruins of the London underground.   Just as well you have the coordinates (hopefully) as wrong turn will probably lead to your death.  It sounds cool but its a bit frustrating.  And then...

There is a Jungle in the underground.

Alas this is the correct way to go and you have three choices, with no clues.  So its 33.33% chance of going the right way.

Artwork - 

The go to man for Sci-Fi, Gary Mayes is back for his third outing.  Interestingly they have all been Sci-Fi books so far.  In those two outings I said it was a mixed bag, and you know what, it is the same here.  But I do think this is the weakest outing of the three as well.

From my playthrough nothing has really stood out.  I think the Android informant self destructing is my favorite.

The galactic rescue fleet is probably my favorite.  But you only see this in an instant death scene which is a waste.

A vital scrap of paper on this cool dead Android.


A dragon going after a flying space transport.  Pretty Cool.

But a lot of meh as well.

In the warehouse of meh.

Fake clues.

Nothing terrible mind you, I just don't think they do sci-fi illustrations very well.

Big Bad - 

There was no big bad.  Unless its this guy getting the presidents memories.

Unnamed Grom technician, the big bad of Star Strider. 

He faints as soon as you appear so yeah, that's it.

Menagerie - 

For a Sci-Fi novel it is quite limiting.  Most encounters are Androids of some description or bandits.  Sometimes the occasional Grom, its a very sparse variety.  

There are some cat people from Wiskas-4....

Grompol..... Freeze Punk!


The Lurgan is lurking around the highways.  I mean he could have been anything but he just looks like a bog standard human.

You can briefly fall into star wars to fight this dude.  Guess what his fancy sci-fi name is.  Yeah he is just called a warrior.

You don't fight many Groms, they just try and scare you with terrible illusions.

Entertaining Deaths - 

Now there is a lot of deaths, but entertaining they are not.  One liners like if you lose you have no excuse do not wash well with me.

Your stolen Grompol car needing fuel, and the ejection seat fails as you crash.

Or the ejector seat does work but you break both legs on the landing and get picked up by the GromPol.

Getting into a cowboy western type face off with a cowboy android where you ask him where his horse is.

Stealing a rocket bike which blows up as it has an anti theft device.

Thinking a dragon is just an illusion, it is, but its really a missile that blows up the rescue craft.

But my favorite way of dying in Star Strider is of course..... Missing the Bus.

Pete's Corner - 

I don't like Chess.


Final Thoughts - 

So I always thought I did not like the Sci-Fi entries when I rake my memories.  But as I have played through them I have not felt they were that bad.  Star Strider has put me back into that mind set.  I really, really struggled with this one.  At first it was a bit funny but my word this got turgid.  Where to even start?  I always like to have something positive to go with and for this book I will call out the maths puzzles which were fun (cant believe I found maths fun) but they were well constructed.

And that is it for the positives.  So I actually got so bored during my playthrough I stopped for quite some time to play Balder's Gate and then forced myself to go back to it.  I mean everything was just so bland.  From the premise, to the writing, to the adventure itself.  So many decisions that you had to make based on bugger all information.  Will you climb the left or the right ladder?  Will you go through the left door or the right.  I know this is not a new problem in Fighting Fantasy but it seems more pronounced here.  I can forgive it a bit if the story is good, but it wasn't.

The story is the hook, the reason for playing.  You are a bounty hunter and need to save the galactic president.  Cool so far, but the execution is horribly lacking.  Lets begin with the setting.  It is the galactic president so you have the whole galaxy to play with.  Yet its set on Earth, and a really boring version of Earth at that.  I mean it felt like you spent most of the adventure worrying about public transport.  Bus simulator would have been a more apt title.  

It did not get any better when I mapped it out.  The four locations of Madrid, Rome, Paris and London are not unique enough to be able to tell you are anywhere different.  Probably as you spend a lot of the time underground!  Madrid is by far the best and they get progressively worse as you go on.  

Also sometimes it does not matter if you go North or South, you end up in the same place anyway.  And frustratingly the better encounters are if you make daft decisions.  You can only end up with the Cowboy Android if you steal a car or get taken by Loptis gang which both make me think you have taken a questionable decision.  And even the Bull Fight which is kind of cool is ruined by a terrible maze type escape where you get no information other than colours of rooms.  I hate a maze. I mean its easy to get out before the oxygen runs out but its boring.

And finally you get to Ginos, a futuristic bar.  This will be great, with loads of aliens and situations to play out with a varied bunch of characters right?  Nope, we get minimal description and you end up playing russian roulette and falling into a sewer for yet another underground sequence.  

Lets talk mechanics.  Time is an interesting concept, but you are never going to have that much of a worry.  What is more likely is that you will make a dumb choice and the book will say you are stranded, lose all time units.  I also found fear a waste of time.  I mean you know they are illusions so what is the point?  A lot of the tests (like the one that killed me) are pure luck.  I realise they have been added for a bit of variety, but you have skill and luck for a reason.  There are a lot of them in this book.  The ones that make you roll dice and see if its more than stamina for example though do make sense and I like those.

I have already bemoaned the lack of variety in the menagerie section, it is sparse for a sci-fi book where the only limit is your imagination.  The only really unique thing here are the Gromulans.  I get its meant to be a camp sci-fi but the whole illusion thing just did not fit for me.  It is relied on far too heavily to try and make interactions more interesting.  But it does not work because we the player AND our character know they are illusions already.  Remember the Star Wars trilogy has been out for quite some time by now and Star Trek has existed for ages.  Instead they look humanoid and love chess and snails.

The lack of a big bad does hamper the book, so the ending sequence in the London Underground is much more important to make up for that.  Flying through the tunnels on a hoverboard should have been awesome.  A thrill ride full of edge of your seat encounters.  Nope, it is an orienteering exercise.

And your reward for getting past it all?  One measly paragraph where the President gives you a credit card and you can retire from being a Rogue Tracer.  Terrible writing.

Great artwork always appeals to me and would possible salvage some pride, but again its bland and I think the poorest of Gary Mayes efforts.  But I can't blame him if he had the same bland source writing to work with that we had to read.

Difficulty wise, I do not think this would take many playthroughs to beat.  The opponents are not tough so it is very fair in that regard and it does have many paths to victory which is a positive.  But you won't want to go back and try them.  

Even if I take this as more of a comedy adventure, its not that funny, its just cringy.  I mean it might have been funnier back in 1987, but I suspect it would not have been.  

Was I even playing a human?  Doubt it as did not even seem to care about Earth being where your race was from.

The best thing about Star Strider?  The Cover.  By miles.

Score - 2 out of 10.





13 comments:

  1. Happy New Year! And wow, this does seem amazingly terribad. Loved the cover though. With the Catchman, if you had to roll 5+ on 1d6 for it to succeed, it means it has a 33% success rate rather than a 33% failure rate. Dreadful. And that bit at the end where it's just "get lucky and pick the right exit or game over" is always kinda eh with me.

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    1. The Catchman was an interestingly unreliable choice for the galaxies rouge tracers. Must have a great marketing department!

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  2. I think based on how Julio and the Houlgans react to you, you are meant to be human.

    Anyway, I actually find this one quite fun. There's way too many arbitrary deaths but there's loads of paths to explore. I also find the little moments like getting the old lady chucked off the bus quite funny. In general, I like what an utter shithole Earth is.

    The biggest issue I have with it is it's pointless looking for co-ordinates in Madrid or Roma as all the information you can find there and more is in Paris.

    Rather endearingly in my copy, the previous owner wrote 'Y' when it asked whether they accepted the mission.

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    1. I loved that - recording Y for later owners to see!

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    2. You are a better man than me Kieran! Well done on enjoying this one. I will give you for sure that was funny having the old lady kicked off. There is a clear commentary on how shite Earth is in general.

      But yeah you could just sit in the bus and the bus station until you get to Paris.

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  3. 'Bland' is probably the word I would use to describe this book too. I appreciated the humour , but it just didn't quite work for me and playing it felt like a chore. I am glad to see Kieran's comment though and to see that some people enjoy it - maybe the sci-fi setting doesn't get me excited in general.
    My local football team is Portsmouth, so would probably be something like Poor-moth. We tend to start the season really well and then crash midway through. So the religion would probably have followers who are confident and strong every morning, but injured and falling to pieces by the late afternoon.

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    1. Its hard to not also write a blog that comes off as bland with this content, normally these are fun to do but chore was a great way to describe it. You will always have the 2008 FA Cup final though!

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  4. All best for 2024! I have to agree with you on this one - there's not much good to be said for it, and the same is unfortunately true of its writer. I can put up with the lame humour and the endless maths, and even that stupid Tube maze, but all his paragraphs seem to follow the exact same formula: one-sentence description of setting; 'suddenly' something happens; some stuff occurs that doesn't make any difference to anything; all capped off with that most thrilling of choices...left? or right? Rinse, repeat...ad infinitum, ad nauseum, ad tedium. He should have called himself Dull rather than Sharp.

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    1. I think you have summed that up pretty well Ben. And the dull rather than sharp was wittier than anything in the book!

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    2. At least you've got a couple of belters coming up, and with two of FF's finest artists behind the pens too. Of course, Luke Dull will be back to spoil the party before long, but you can't have everything, I guess.

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    3. Ive been looking forward to the next two, Midnight was my favorite as a kid.

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    4. Mine too! I'll hold off any fanboyish raving until your write-up, though, in case it turns out not to hold up to adult scrutiny.

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