House of Hell

Background - 

Steve stopped banging on the door.  His hand was starting to hurt.  He slumped back down at his desk chair and stared at the typewriter in front of him.  Ian had cracked, the pressure of book after book after book demanded by the publisher was too much.  He missed designing and playing games.  But there was nothing for it.  The only way out of this accursed hell was to write a book.  But he was sick to death of fantasy, and as much as he hated to admit it sci fi had been a flop.  He needed something else.  Sick of this house he was trapped in he started looking around for inspiration.  His eye lingered over the corner of the room and he stood up and walked over.  It was his hammer horror collection.  Would work in a fantasy setting he thought but then a thought struck him.  Eagerly he went back to the desk and started sketching out some ideas.  It was not long before the typewriter was thudding away.

House of Hell came out November 1984 and is unique so far in that it is set in modern day earth.  I say modern day but of course its set in the 80s so its got a stranger things vibe to it.  Its also a horror which is a bit different with some heavy mixes of fantasy.   A brave subject matter for a gamebook aimed at children.  Especially as the world was very different then where certain people were convinced D&D was introducing kids to Satanism.  Good lord just as well they did not read this book.  To be honest the publishers were probably selling so many now they were not worried about the content.

Covers - 

My favorite House of Hell cover.  From the dripping blood writing for the title to the ominous house itself in the background, a lone light on in the corner.  And if you were in any doubt the warped trees and the demon let you know what kind of place this is.  You could get away without them though as just the house itself would be enough.  Its got that resident evil feel to it.

So the wizard reprint is not the best.  Mainly because there is no house to see apart from maybe very faded in the background.  Its just a man transforming into a demon. Its not bad by any means but its not the picture I would have chosen to go with.

Scholastic are really aiming the books at children and to be fair they have to be careful about it unlike puffin who clearly were not bothered.  It is cartoonish but at least its got the house in it.  Although you will notice all the lights are on in the house which is such a waste of electricity.  Greta will be around and no amount of Zombies and Ghosts will stop her.  The demon is pretty standard but its well drawn.  I believe though he is fleeing the house before the climate protesters can get to him.

The US cover again does not let us down.  For a start it looks like you have opened the door to Dr Who's Tardis.  I mean lets have a look inside.  You have a mass of goat headed cultists on the stairs.  There is clearly some kind of hunchback monster at the back.  And a strange gremlin like creature.  I mean I would probably just back away normally but the rain is pissing down here so what the hell, why not.  Pass me a goats mask ill join in.

I pass my shoes to this creature. 

Also a shout out to the zombie on the front who is clearly trying to recruit you like the old war posters used to -

Your local cult needs YOU!

Also its called House of Hades.  Which was clearly enough to fool the bible belt that it was a book about Greek mythology.  Again there would have been riots if they had read it.

Premise - 

Its horror cliché time.  Its night and the rain is pouring down as I drive down a side road in the country.  You can't really see a thing.  All the blame goes to an old man who gave me directions.  I even start thinking he has done it on purpose as he has a mischievous glint in his eye.  Now at this point I would stop and turn around buy my character is still battering on.  But then the old man appears again on the road at the last minute and I hit him and put the car into the ditch.  I get out in a panic but can't find a body anywhere.  I even start to doubt I even saw him.  I go back to the car and of course it will not start.  Well I have owned a few cars built in the 1980's and I can confirm this is not as far fetched as it sounds.  

I start to panic as I have an important appointment to get to tomorrow.  Id like to think my appointment was to sell ZX spectrum fighting fantasy games to the local distributor.  They are in the boot of the car.

Of course the last town is 15 miles back and the garage I saw was 20 miles away.  But like a beacon I see a light go on just a little bit in the distance, a house!  I decide to make my way through the rain so I can use their phone to call the garage.  Not that I have the number so hopefully they have a phone book as well!  

Yes kids we used to have to look up phone numbers in a huge book!

Then things get strange as I get told things I do not notice when a flash of lightning lights up the night that the house is old and will not have electricity so it must be an oil lamp I saw.  And that there is no sign of a phone line.  Well glad I didn't notice that.  Should have stayed in the car.

Playthrough - 

So its standard Skill, Stamina and Luck with a couple of extra twists.  You start with -3 skill until you can find a weapon.  But we also have a new stat called Fear.  So you roll 1d6 and add 6.  This is your maximum fear .  You will start on zero and during the book you will be told to add to your fear score.  If you hit your maximum fear score you are frightened to death.  I do like the sound of this but I do not need extra help in dying in fighting fantasy books.

Apart from that, no provisions or anything else, its just got a section for equipment and notes.

Skill - 8

Stamina - 23

Luck - 8

Fear - 10

Well that's concerning.  With the -3 penalty I have a skill of 5.  Even a drunk goblin would defeat me.  To be fair its a rather realistic skill score if this is me in a modern setting.  Stamina is very high, luck slightly below average but Fear is not bad.  Priority one is to find a weapon and also to stay out of fights if possible.  Actually wait no priority one is to call the garage to get my car towed.

Actually I think ill just go back to the car.

So you make it up to the house and its very run down and you are soaked.  I have a concern that now no lights are on but its almost midnight so they are probably in bed.  Wait a minute, its midnight?  So my plan is to ask to use the phone to call the garage at a random house at midnight.  First if I lived here I would say bugger off.  Second the garage will be shut at this time, won't open again until the morning so what's the point?  I must have put all my money into the spectrum games and have to sell them that I decided to drive through the night!  So my character is an idiot and I decide he deserves whatever is coming to him.

I can now knock on the door, pull the cord or sneak round the back and investigate a light that just came on.  Well I worry I am being rude already so I pull the cord.  A man wearing tails (I assume a butler and not actual animal tails) answers and after explaining my situation he lets me in.  He does say the master is expecting me so that's the first red flag.  As I am waiting I decide to have a look at some of the paintings.  Lady Margaret of Danvers.  Its at his stage her lips start moving and instead of making a run for it my character leans in close and puts his ear to her lips.  This guy has no fear whatsoever!  She tells me the master of the house is evil (Lord Kelnor) and not to drink his white wine.  I do get a fear point for the whole talking painting thing.

I get the option to leave the house by the front door.  Yes absolutely that would be the sensible decision.  But I get zapped for 2 stamina as it gives me an electric shock.  Two things here.  One, if I am still soaked through that would probably kill me.  Two, I was told at the start there was no electricity in the house?  Anyway I am already trapped.  I would have liked an alternative ending where I go fleeing into the night!

Ok its straight out of Hammer Horror.

The butler announces Lord Keldor the Earl of Drumer.  Which just so happens to be an anagram for murder.  Red flag number 2.  No wait that was the talking painting.  And then the electric zapping door handle.  Lets just say there has been enough red flags that we should be out of here.  The butler gets called Franklins and he is told to go and see what the chef can rustle up.  Bet he is glad to be woken at midnight to make some food.  I try and say no thanks I just need a phone.  But instead I am ushered into the drawing room where I can dry out in front of the fire.  I get offered a brandy and think well I am not going anywhere tonight and the painting said stay clear of the wine so I go for it.  

In good news I dry out and relax so I get to reduce my fear.  The Earl explains the phone line came down in the storm and anyway the garage would not come out at this hour.  Exactly what I was thinking.  Getting on great with the Earl so far.  I am invited to stay the night and then Franklins comes back to announce the food is ready so we head to the dining room.

In contrast to the run down outside, inside is magnificent.  I am offered a choice of red or white wine.  Well I would prefer white but I will take the ghosts advice and have a red.  I follow it up with a course of duck and the Earl tells me a bit of his backstory.  He is the last survivor of his family for his sister died in mysterious circumstances, found in a clearing with marks on her neck.  He said the peasants then stopped working the land as they thought the house was cursed, which of course is nonsense.  I regret asking him and when talking about my story I mange to sell him a copy of Forest of Doom for the ZX spectrum, not that he knows what it is.

Wait peasants, I thought this was the 80s?  Red Flag.  I then get options for Fruit, coffee, brandy and cheese in various combinations.  I have a cheese and a coffee.  This is a mistake as something was drugged and I pass out.

I wake up tied up lying on a bed.  Probably the biggest red flag so far to be fair.  I get asked if I want to test my luck.  Erm not at this stage thanks.  So I hop over to the window.  Smash it and use the glass to free myself.  Its costs me 2 stamina though.  Amazingly the door to the room is not locked.  I am upstairs and have a T-Junction type choice but at least it has some flavor.  As there are more doors to the right I go this way.  

In front of me a I have a door with no name and a door to a room called Balthus in a nod to citadel of chaos.  I hope Starship gets a shout out with a room called the Traveler.  I decide to go in the non demonic sounding door and I come to another landing and a door to a room called Diabolus.  I decide to have a peek out the window first.  Its heavily barred so not getting out that way but there is a hidden message.  Mordanna in Abaddon.  I get the very cryptic instruction of when I want to use this information to turn to page 88.  But do not turn to it now.  Well hopefully I spot the right situation if I find it.

At this point I thought I could go into the Diablous room but I am instead herded back to the main landing where I am at the top of the stairs.  Instead of going down them though knowing I can not get out the main door I enter another room upstairs.  And find myself in a storage cupboard.  And find myself a good old fashioned meat knife which I can use for a weapon!  Back up to skill 8!  I also pocket some garlic which means there is 100% a vampire running around somewhere.  In addition I get asked if I want to try the bottle of unlabeled white liquid.  Nope that's clearly the drugged wine.  

Making my way through the store I get to a couple of more rooms and head into the Mammon room as its slightly less evil than Shaitan.  Obviously they were a bit concerned with out and out saying Satan.  It does not go well.  The room is empty but when I go to pick a faded photograph from the fire I get bashed on the head.  I go over to the curtains and must add 1 Fear point as they are normal curtains.  Wow nothing more scary than finding normal curtains!  I then try and make my way out and pass a luck test to survive furniture being thrown at me by a poltergeist.  That earns me another fear point, understandable this time, before I run out to the landing screaming but did you see those curtains!?  They were teal!  

I then head into the room called Tuttivillus and get offered the chance to go to bed and rest!?  This is bad as getting that offer in Zanbar Bone's tower in city of thieves.  Instead I look out the window, hoping it will have another clue.

Its the guy that gave me poor directions!  I mark down another red flag.

I add another 3 (yes 3) points to my fear score which is already up to 5.  I can run to the bed and sleep the night away, which is beyond stupid so I flee the room.  If I do not reduce my fear score it will not be long.  

Next choice I get is a room called Belial, one called Abaddon, an unmarked door or some stairs to go down.  Ah that note in the window said someone is in Abaddon so in I go.  Its a women in the bed with loads of flowers.  So I head over to wake her up.

Of course she is dead.  Which means another 2 fear points.

And another red flag, she gets up and has no pupils as she threatens me.  I am not sure if this is correct or not but I decide to flip to page 88 at this stage before anything else can scare me.  I get to ask her one question.  I decide to ask about secret rooms and she tells me that the masters most secret place can only be accessed under the stairs in the cellar but I need a password from Shekou.  The book then says when I am in position to take 10 from the paragraph reference to find it.  That's very clever.

I am then forced downstairs saying I have explored most of the rooms upstairs.  Well actually I have missed quite a lot but with only 1 fear point left why not.  

Then its a 50/50 choice between left and right with no indication of clues.  But I will not be trying the front door again!  I am in the drawing room.  I spot the brandy and think well last time I had some it reduced my fear by 1.  But this time it restores my stamina by 3.  Not sure of the modern message to kids that alcohol has only positive effects.  I pour some into a hip flask and take it with me.  So couple of search options but to be honest I am scared to look for anything now.  But I know I need clues.  I find a letter opener which can be used as a weapon and some letters.  One is telling the Earl to change his password (sound IT advice).  The letter says even I know its Goathead.  Right so I know know if he changed it then its going to be Goathead1! (I work in IT I know these things, if that does not work I will try Goathead2!).  Anyway what it really says is that he should change it to something to remind him of a friend that gave him sound advice.  And its signed Count Pravemi so I note that down and head off before anything bad can scare me.

The scene of my demise.

In the next room I find myself in the study.  However words start to appear on the blank piece of paper in a child's handwriting.  It says Find Shekou.  Hmm thanks but I already know that.  And you just killed me as I have to add another fear point.  Killed by the shock of seeing some words appear.  Its at this stage I realise I did not have a single combat.

Ok time to call an audible.  For purposes of keeping the blog interesting I decide the normal curtains did not scare me and give myself that fear point back.

So I have a look around the books as knowledge is power.  Looking at one called Mystical symbols and their part in magical rituals a pentangle on a chain drops out.  I get told to turn to 66 when I need to use it.  I then find a button which when pressed opens up a secret passage way and I fire down it.

I have found the dungeons.  Red flag.

I don't know why they did not just throw me down here after I ate the cheese to be honest.  I get the option to talk to them but sorry guys I am 1 fear point from death and I am trying to extend this playthrough as much as possible so I am off.  Ill come back with the cops though.  

Or maybe not.

I soon find myself attached to the torture rack to play a game to make sure I am a friend of the masters like I claimed to be.  So the assistant will give me a letter and I must write down something in the house that belongs to that letter, I assume the rooms.  If I do not answer they will turn the rack wheel.  I get a turn of the rack for not thinking of a K but overall score 14 points for naming the rooms.  Seeing the other answers I see some of the best answers are not room related.  Its enough and now he is worried for his job.  I decide to let him give me directions back up the stairs to sell the story.

I wander around for a bit trying a multitude of locked doors before I find myself in the kitchen.  Now one thing I do remember is that the keys are burning hot so I leave them.  Instead I find the back door and try to get out that way.  Its locked, again trying to get me to take the keys.  

Ah this really is my demise now.

I open another door to the pantry and there of course is a ghoul.  Because why not keep a ghoul in the pantry.  I see his stats ready for a fight, Skill 8.  But its just tantalizingly out of reach as the two fear points I get before the combat kills me off as my heart can not take any more.  

Wish I paid attention to those red flags.

Notable Encounters - 

Ok bear with me while I try and map out the book.  

*Three days later*

Wow that was an effort but its only by mapping everything out you get to understand what a wonderful job Steve did creating this,

Even before the mapping starts properly just getting into the house is an event.  Sneaking round the back is an option which leads to an interaction with some cultists in the kitchen.  But do not go that way as the whole start sequence is masterful.  The whole dining sequence of choosing what to eat and drink sounds like nothing but its a tactful game.  No combat, its all dialogue and sets the stage really well.  If only I was not a sucker for a cheese board though!

Once you eventually get started I went the wrong way and missed the info dump from the ghost bride.

Things do not end well for her.

Yep she gets chased down by some ghost dogs.  It is a good early encounter though as to be honest the rest of the first floor is just full of bad things trying to scare you.  Between headless men, people hanging outside the window, killer beds and Zombies it is not a fun place to be and you can easily end up frightened to death before you even make it down the stairs.

When you get downstairs though the one place you can not go to is the kitchen.  If you find yourself there its game over.  I cant find any way out.  Even fighting the ghoul or passing luck tests you always cause too much commotion and get caught.  This is one thing I noticed, there are a lot of fake tests.  By this I mean you pass a test and get the less worse option, such as less stamina reduction, and then killed off in the very next paragraph.  Nope stay out of the kitchen.  The only way to survive is to follow the advice in Murrays option in Turn to 400 (Still one of the funniest things I have ever read).

The cellars though are where its at.  The sequence with the torture chamber and having to answer quickly what first comes into your head in order to prove you are the masters friend is very well put together.  But my favorite bit is the secret passage to the Kris knife.  All the passwords are valid options that you get hints at but the beauty is all appear to work.  Its only after its too late that you realise if you gave the wrong password you went into an identical dummy room and get trapped forever.  

You can also join in playing dress up with a bunch of creepy old men.

Artwork - 

Its another debut, this time Tim Sell is behind the pens.  Its a very mixed bag.  The scary stuff is very well done.  Such as - 

Come on now, no need to lose your head over it......sorry

Do not try and go out the front door again as this traveling salesman is trying to raise money for some animal charity.

This guy must be worth a few Fear points.

So between these guys, the ghoul, the ghost and the first scene of the approach to the house all really help the atmosphere of the book.  When you use a fear score it has to be backed up and a lot of the time it is.

What's really scary though is the really weird look normal humans have.  For example - 

This is meant to be a body falling out of the cupboard and not an apparition floating by to pick up some crockery.  

Franklins is far too calm here and what's going on with the Earl's face?

This is a normal old man called man with white hair?  Are you sure? It looks like a demon with flame for hair!

Rafferty is not to be trusted, despite his weird rose cheeked face.

And this guy is just a normal prisoner!

The last two especially remind me of the Titans in Attack on Titan.  Maybe he was just ahead of his time but they look really creepy for good guys.

Ah I know you, you are the only nice person from house of hell, how are you?  Wait what are you doing!?  No get off me!

It just looks a bit creepy to me which is maybe what was meant to be the point as it puts the element of doubt in the readers mind on how to treat someone.  You just assume everyone in the house is out to get you.

But we can not talk about the art without referencing a certain illustration.  This was not in my version of the book as it was removed from later printings as the censors were not impressed.

How lucky that a billowing robe has protected her modesty.

Yep it was decided that a women being sacrificed to demons was far too much for young children to deal with.  But you know the sight of a man being hanged is just fine.....

The Big Bad - 

So you spend most of the book thinking the Earl of Drumer is the person you should be after but it is in fact the butler Franklins who is the conduit.  He transforms (against his wishes I presume) into a Hell Demon.

Ah there you are Franklins, do you have any more of that Cheese?

In a good bait and twist as well if you go after the Earl you do not even get a chance to fight as the Demon kills you from behind.  If you do go after the right person you still need to have the Kris knife.  If you do not its an automatic loss.  The Hell Demon is a skill 14, stamina 12 monster which sounds impossible.  Especially in a book with so little combat.  But the knife gives you plus six skill.  Which does not really help as the book says you can not go over initial skill.  Its clearly meant to mean attack strength so as long as you treat it as such it should be fine.  

The Earl takes the death very badly, almost like you killed his favorite dog.  

Menagerie - 

Now there is not a lot of combat in this book.  And a lot of the time you can end up fighting with people that you shouldn't such as the white haired man or the prisoner.

Or the Hunchback, you get quite a few goes to attack him but just get him drunk.

Apart from that its your mainstay of Skeletons and Zombies, nothing out of the ordinary.  As I said there are hardly any combats.

You can end up in a fight with some Great Danes.  Although the one on the left looks like Godzilla.

And some Fire Sprites as well.  The one on the left gives you friendly "finger guns" before trying to kill you.  Some dirt from a plant pot can get you out of it if you do not want an old school fight.

But even though they are technically just skeletons, these guys get a special mention -

This poor fellow had just got home from a hard day at the office!  His belt is the real miracle of house of hell, somehow keeping his trousers up.  His hat gives him +1 stamina.

Entertaining Deaths - 

So while death by Fear will always get you, there are also plenty of ways to die outright.  Some you can do nothing about either if you end up in that area of the house!

Early on you can end up in a chemistry lab and in true Fighting Fantasy style you can try drinking various coloured liquids.  Drinking the red potion will of course result in death.

Cheese and Wine should also be avoided, if you eat both of these you are drugged so much you die.  You even get another chance to eat them in a store room, with the same results.  It never does say what type of cheese it was though.

A pillow suffocates you to death.  To be fair trying to sleep in this environment you deserve that. 

Accidently hypnotizing yourself when reading a book about hypnotism.  

Being sucked into a bottle.

Going into the kitchen.

The amazing one where the torturer lets you chose which cage to go into.  Its very generous and both kill you.  The smaller one you get cramps as your knees are tucked up into you.  And the tall one (the one I would choose) you never get to lie down and get a different type of cramp.

But my favorite is when you see the cultists are about to sacrifice the young district nurse.  You get told there are forty of them but you try and save her, see the hope in her eyes.  Before failing miserably.  In fact the text tells you specifically you deserved to die for trying something so stupid.

Pete's Corner - 

Watch out for Red Flags!

Final Thoughts - 

House of Hell is a strange one but I got fully engrossed in it.  First off its a technical marvel where you have to uncover clues to a puzzle and you can't cheat it as if you do not find the clue you will not know to go to the hidden references.  

Also its so different to other books, with hardly any combat instead you rely on the interaction with other people instead.  Its great to not worry about having to roll high skill stats.  In fact you can get away with terrible rolls apart from maybe Fear which I think you need a high score.

This lack of combat does not mean it is an easy book though.  Far from it, it is one of the hardest.  Tripping over things that cause fear is a constant threat but you have to search for information.  However even when you know where to go its the order you go in that matters.  For example trying to find the golden key.  If you reach the magic mirror room from the ground floor the room is off limits.  You only get the option to search for the box its in if you arrive from the landing upstairs.  Its fascinating but will take a long time to figure out.

Then there are all the false trails and paths.  In so many of them, like the kitchen or the trip to the end of the cellar, you make rolls thinking it will make a difference.  It will not, you are already dead.

One thing I do not like though is the upstairs.  I just feel their is not a lot up there.  Go to the window, go past the store and then see the old women.  However there are loads of rooms upstairs and they are all designed to increase your fear score.  I just wish there was a bit more up here.

But the writing is very atmospheric and I think Steve has done an excellent job here and again he has decided not to rest on the standard formula.  His method of getting around cheating by putting in hidden passages is a much more effective way than crazy difficult enemies.  This one, like the book before was written for Warlock magazine first but its been adapted to full length much better than Caverns of the Snow Witch.

What I still cant believe though is this book was aimed at kids!

Ian "So, your telling me you do not have a lot of combat?"

Steve "Yeah its actually really clever, you see it does not matter how low your score is its.."

Ian "And you do not need to collect lots of items?"

Steve "Well you need to get keys and also a dagger helps."

Ian "I am not sure, it does not seem enough."

Steve "Its got a Skill 14 fight you have no option but to fight."

Ian "Skill 14, my word Steve that's the spirit!"

Steve slowly walks away out of the door as Ian mutters to himself.

Ian "Wow, Skill 14, why didn't I think of that?  Now just a shame about the whole demon worshipping, not sure Puffin will go for that."

Ian picks up the phone and dials the publishers number.

"Yep that's right I have the 10th manuscript. Tell me, how much do you read before it goes out?"

Puffin exec "We read it all Ian, its great."

Ian "Ah ok, what did you think of Deathtrap Dungeon?"

Puffin exec "Oh yeah it was great, that Dungeon full of Deathraps!"

Ian "Ok and Island of the Lizard King?"

Puffin exec "Yep wonderful that King of Lizards on his Island."

Ian "And what about the final enemy in City of Thieves?"

Puffin exec "Oh yeah that big battle with the head thief in the city."

Ian smiles, they might just get this one through after all, despite it clearly not being for kids.  "Yeah that's the one, anyway house of hell will be with you shortly." 

Yeah this is a red flag.  Also I assume we did not rescue the prisoners and they were left to die in the flames.

Score - 7 out of 10.