City of Thieves

Background - 

So it is still 1983 and we are already up to book 5 in the series.  The guys were fairly pumping them out at this stage.  Its back round to Ian Livingston again and he sticks with the same formula for the gameplay.  While Steve was changing the rules each time Ian was keeping it simple and instead experimenting with locations.  After giving us the first outdoor adventure in Forest of Doom he now takes us into a fully fledged city.  I have played this a few times and I seem to remember that its quite good.  Pretty sure there are some items to hunt down as well, including some hag's hair I think?

Covers - 

So the same art was used for the original, green zig zag and the dragon editions so I will just show this one as the its the one I have.  

So we have the main villain on the front page.  One Zanbar Bone.  Trying to look menacing with his scythe, I just never found it intimidating even as a kid.  Maybe its his lovely bone ruffle he sports.

The city in the background I really like as a picture, but not as a city.  It looks smaller than the Citadel of Chaos.  

But I guess the biggest talking point is the severed head on a spike, on a children's book....

 

Funnily enough when Wizard republished City of Thieves they dropped the old cover for a completely different cover.  Now we are in a tavern and looks like we have met some thieves.  Appropriate.  Its ok but a couple of issues from me.  The green goblin guy I can not take seriously.  If that is meant to be a menacing look it has failed.  But my biggest complaint is the Word 97 clipart that's been used for the items on the table. 

I draw your attention to the mugs of ale in particular.

Can Scholastic do any better with their cover?  Well its gone back to the main man Zanbar Bone.  He is in a city as well so check.  To be honest even though its not my cup of tea its the best scholastic one so far.  It certainly better than the Wizard effort.

And here we go, always a highlight its the US cover!  Wait a minute, what's going on here?   Its actually pretty good?!  I mean Zanzibar actually looks pretty scary here.  And the city in the background I really like.  Oh no, if these start being good what will I take the piss out of?  

Wait what's that there?

Is that a tongue?  A giant nose?

What the hell is this guy?  Well just as well he and his ridiculous appendage were here or the US cover might have taken home the spoils as the best cover and ruined my running joke.

Premise - 

Well, well.  City of Thieves has five and a half pages of background!  Its got a whole story of setup.  Lets see, I am already a famous adventurer and when I appear in a village people come out to see a dragon slayer.  Well if I hope my skill score reflects these dragon slaying abilities.  Anyway we pick up when I arrive at Silverton.  Normally a well off place something is clearly amiss as when nightfall arrives everyone starts running to get indoors.  

I causally make my way over to the Old Toad inn and before I can be served the innkeeper locks the door with quite a ridiculous amount of bolts.  Still waiting to get served someone starts frantically knocking at the door and the innkeeper has to go back through the whole process of opening all the locks, letting the man in and then locking up again.  At this rate I will never get served.

Anyway it turns out my fame has once again preceded me and the mayor of Silverton, Owen Carralif, has come to speak to me.  Finally we sit down and he treats me to a slap up meal and relates a story of woe.  Ten days ago two of Zanbar Bone spirit stalkers arrived demanding the town hand over the mayors daughter.  Going by his erm skeleton appearance, I am not sure what he would want with the young lady.  I am going to assume its not the usual reasons.  Anyway they of course say no and this apparently upsets Zanbar so much that he send in the Moon Dogs!

The first night the Moon Dogs attacked without warning, killing 23, and they have appeared every night since.  Now as soon as night hits people lock up their doors and hide as the moon dogs have the run of Silverton.  There is even talk of sending Owen's daughter to Zanbar which as you can imagine he is not keen on this option.  

But it's ok as our pal Owen has a plan.  He has an old wizard friend called Nicodemus who he is sure will help him.  Only problem is that he is in Port Blacksand, the City of Thieves.  He gives me 30 gold pieces up front and also a sword which I can keep.  Things take a bit of a weird turn here when we get a long description of the detail on the sword which ends with the line "You have never wanted anything so badly in your life before."  Wait what?  What kind of person am I and what life have I lived that I have not wanted something so badly before?  I am starting to feel less like a hero and more like a psychopath.

I spend the night in the Old Toad Inn but I do not have a good nights sleep due to the Moon Dogs howling and sniffing around.  Its all very good stuff and atmospheric but if I am capable of killing a Dragon I do not know why I don't just go out there with my new shiny sword and kill them?  Well I guess because that would not be a great game book.

Playthrough -

Its back to a standard set up.  We have the fancy sword, leather armour, ten provisions and a potion of my choice.

Skill - 9

Stamina - 23

Luck - 7

Not great Skill and terrible Luck score.  For that reason I decide to take the potion of fortune with me.

So a quick description of the trip to Port Blacksand followed by a description of the sights and smells of the city as you approach.  But before I can get into the city you have to get past the guard.

Why would a city full of thieves care about who came into their city?

Now I will talk about the artwork in that section but wow, easily the best art so far to start the adventure.  Anyway I have the choice of being honest, lying or attacking.  Well as its an evil place I decide to use the same strategy as Citadel of Chaos and act like I am a bad guy (that and my skill is too low to fight my way through).  I tell him I have stolen some silver chalices from Silverton and need to fence them.  Of course he wants to check them out first.  I tell him that's a bad idea as they are cursed and I need to find a wizard to help.  Hopefully this will lead to him pointing out Nicodemus's location.  But he does not, instead saying its a likely story (I imagine very sarcastically) but lets me in as I am no different to the rest of the people in here.  Now I am very confused, do they turn good people away?  Anyway I give him three gold coins for advice, hoping to learn my lesson on not getting the crows advice in Forest of Doom.  Its not great, he just tells me if I am caught without a pass I will be killed so get one as soon as possible.  No advice on how to get one.  Surprised that its not something the guards at the gate deal with!

So as usual its the old East, West, North choice to start but at least this one has a bit of flavor, as it also provides street names.  Key street sounds obvious though as most adventures need a key of some kind so I head that way.  Right enough it was a literal description as I arrive at a locksmiths.

Not sure why a Dwarf would have a tall key cutting machine.

So I can ask him for a Skeleton Key or if he know where to find Nicodemus.  I ask for a key first as in an adventure in a city about a man named Bone makes me think I will need one.  Costs 10 gold though but sure its worth it.  But then to my horror I just leave.  Wait I want to ask about the wizard as well?  Could have easily had an option that said if you have not already asked him about Nicodemus you can ask now or leave.

The street swings North and an urchin appears to give me a note which says six bows are trained on me, leave 10 gold to pass.  It says if I do that I will lose 2 luck points.  Well my luck is already low and this place is called the city of thieves so its probably a scam so I walk on.  

Well it was not a scam.  You have to roll a dice and lose 3 stamina for each hit.  Of course I roll a 6 and lose 18 stamina in one go!  And what's even worse?  I still loose 2 luck points!!  One street along and already clinging to life.  I decide to drink my potion of fortune to go up to 8 luck and four meals!  Not entirely sure how eating more and more food helps with all the arrows sticking out of me but hopefully it helps me not have a really short adventure.  Brutal.

I am told I feel like a pincushion and a little girl beckons me to enter a house.  Erm after that experience no thanks I will keep moving away from this area.  

As I walk along I see one house with a welcome sign in front of it.  I pop my head in and see some stairs, a small gold scorpion and a small silver scorpion.  I do not like 50/50 choices.  I pick up the gold one and I get 2 luck points for having a nice broach.  Sigh, I just restored my Luck with the potion.  Now I get all the options again like I should have had at the locksmiths!  No way I am touching the other one so I have a wander up the stairs.

Oh hello mam,  Is this where I pay for the lovely broach?

Its a Lizardine and it is outraged I have stolen a broach and fights me.  Wait the sign said welcome and I do not get the option to pay for it?  What kind of enterprise are you running here?  Skill 8 means this will be close and it also has a fire attack which has a 50/50 chance of hitting me for more damage every round.  I manage to win and only lose 6 stamina points which is not a disaster.  I find 4 gold coins which I scoop up and option to pick up a bronze scorpion broach.  After getting lucky with the first one I decide not too touch any other broaches and move along.  

Where I am stopped by the guards and asked if I have a pass.  Of course I do not so a battle ensues but luckily they attack one at a time.  Also the city guard appear to be some of the weaker creatures in Port Blacksand so I only take one hit.  Still I have another meal to get my stamina back up to 17.  Already half my provisions are gone.   I am rewarded though with 7 gold pieces, a set of keys and some stale bread so I am glad I did not have the pass.

As I walk on I see a pair boots on a rubbish pile that look about my size and asked if I want to try them on?  No  I do not!  Why would anyone who is already wearing perfectible good boots see a pair in a rubbish heap and want to just try them on?

I arrive at a four way junction complete with street names but in typical fashion I see a crowd and decide to follow them North, always being forced North in these things.  All the commotion is people throwing rotten fruit and eggs at an unlucky man.

My character take these eggs (No choice) and joins in with the bullying.

I do not get any other option but she pick pockets me for 1 gold piece as well.  Maybe that's a fair price for some eggs to throw.  The note says Ye Good Two Shoes. I make a mental note it does not pay to be a hero in Port Blacksand.  I go to the food stalls and get a nice hot fresh meal for 1 gold.  It only restores 2 stamina points which makes me question what the hell is in my provisions?!  A man then offers to play a song of fortune on his lute for 3 gold.  I decline his offer and move on to the next stalls.  

Did not go well for the last guy.

I am offered a game of drop the cannonball.  The prize is that the loser pays 5 gold to the other.  Well I am not short of gold and I guess its skill based and my Skill of 9 is not great so I decline.  Plus he has clearly oiled up which would no doubt make the cannon ball all slippery.

Next stall has some stuff for sale so I decide to buy it all.  I pick up a throwing knife, climbing rope, butchers meat hook, iron spike and a lantern.  Hopefully the folks of the city of thieves did not see me splashing the cash!

Next stop is at a fortune teller which as its a fantasy world I decide to check it out.  

Unlike Mystic Meg this one actually gives me some useful information!

2 gold pieces is all it costs and tells me the person I am looking for is to the North and lives under a bridge in a hut.  But be careful he does not like visitors.  She then looks horrified and shoos me out.  No doubt she has seen my inevitable death.

So I head North to bridge street (no choice, so not sure I needed the information I just got).  It starts to rain and I see a derelict house with the option to shelter in it.  Hmm how bad must it be for a house to be derelict in this place.  I decide to put up with the rain.  

I have arrived at the bridge!

I get the option to wait for the one legged man crossing the bridge but as the other option is to go down the stairs I take that instead, trusting in Mystic Megs advice.

And sure enough I find Nicodemus's hut.  He is not happy but as soon as I tell him about Owen in Silverton he changes.  He says he is too old to do anything about it himself but he will tell me how to defeat Zanbar Bone myself.

You seem a rational and sensible person, how should I defeat Zanbar Bone? 

So I have to fight him at night as during the day he exists on another plane!  I have to shoot him with a silver arrow.  And then rub in some paste into his eyes made of black peril, hags hair and a lotus flower.  Sounds difficult enough but by far the best part is what I am told I need to do to protect from his stare.  I need to get the tattoo of a unicorn in a yellow sun on my forehead...

What in the blue hell is Ian thinking about here?  I am all for suspending disbelief for fantasy but who would do this?  At this point I say thanks and take my remaining gold and my nice sword and leave Port Blacksand to find another adventure which does not feature having to tattoo my forehead.  Oh wait no I am told I continue on.

Next choice is Candle Street or Harbour Street.   Well looking at my shopping list I think ill head for the harbour as black perils are associated with pirates and probably best place to find them.  I see an alley way and decide to investigate as I need to find objects.  All I find are some wild dogs which I have to dispatch and nothing else.  

Walking down the street I hear a carriage coming down the street.

Will you jump out of the way or stand your ground?

I jumped out of the way as they shout its Lord Azzur, he is not going to stop for a nobody like me.  But the driver whips me as I dive out of the way and lose 1 stamina point.  But with that I find myself at the harbour.

Well what do you know, a Pirate ship!  And for the avoidance of doubt a Pirate is photobombing in the corner long before the invention of the camera.

Do you want to board the ship?  Hell yeah!  I decide to go for the Assassins Creed approach as I climb up the netting and sneak below decks to avoid any combat.  I hear snoring from a room and decide to check it out.

Sleeping off hangovers.

I get the option to cut the leather purse from the pirate neck.  Looking at it in the picture, well it could contain pearls.  I go for it and fail miserably.  I have to fight all three pirates.  I take a few hits but dispatch them and find 6 black pearls!  Great news.  I sit down and eat another meal before going through the next door.  There is waiting bath and I get the option to be a pervert and wait and see who comes for a bath.  I really don't want to but its too intriguing and option for a blog writer to ignore so I wait and the captain appears.  Once he is in the bath I press my sword against his neck for information.  He tells me to get a silver arrow speak to Ben Borryman on clog street.  My voyeurism has paid off, maybe not a great message for kids!

I leave the ship and immediately go to clog street to look for this silversmith.  There I see a fallen child and go to help.  But its a trick and actually a goblin thief.  Luckily he has terrible stats and I kill him.  2 more gold in the pouch, some old knucklebones and a clove of garlic (Vampire alert).  I find Ben's shop and go in.  You have the option to attack him but I speak to him instead.  He will make a silver arrow for 10 gold, luckily I still had 14 left so I give him the money and check off another quest item.  

Next I can go down Tower Street or Stable Street.  Well I do not need a horse so I go for Tower street.  I see a man getting attacked so I go to help.  Its a  tough battle against two robbers but I survive with 10 stamina left.  The man takes me to the Hog and Frog Inn and gives me a drink and some ointment which restores 5 stamina but that's it.  No essential items.

As I continue on I see men with sacks on the bridge above me.  I shout out and they shoot me with a crossbow.  One failed luck test later (I have not been lucky once) another 3 stamina points go.  I eat two more meals and carry on under the bridge.  I find the junction with stable street and instead of going south down stable street I am once again forced North.  What does Ian have against the direction South?

After speaking to a blacksmith and not having anywhere near enough gold to pay for a chainmail coat I am next accosted by a man with a ball and chain around his leg trying to escape the guard.  He says he was robbed and could no longer afford his taxes so he was thrown in jail.  I decide to try and help him by cutting the chains with my sword but it bounces off (But I have a Skeleton Key and a set of keys from guards I killed earlier).  The guards arrive and looking at my stamina and dwindling provisions I decide to pretend I caught him.  They buy it and give me 5 gold coins, they say he was a murderer so I do not feel too bad.  

Wandering on I come to the public gardens.  It only cost 1 gold for entry and well I am looking for a Lotus flower so probably the best place to be.  

Oh look, the bushes have been cut in the shape of animals, I wonder what is going to happen?

Well I find the Lotus Flowers but it says their is a sign saying do not pick the flowers.  Well I have no choice I need them so here we go.  I am asked if I have a ring of fire.  Only after a curry so no.  Its a fight against the leaf beasts instead.  Luckily they are not as tough as they appear to be and I only get hit once.  I run out of the garden with another item from the shopping list!

We now travel onto Mill Street and because I am now searching everywhere for fear of missing an item I go down another alley.  I have found the tattooist.  I explain my daft need but I can not afford his price of 10 gold as I only have 8.  Luckily it is not game over as he sends me next door to the pawn brokers.  I sell my scorpion broach and knucklebones for 11 gold.  So I get my tattoo and check in the mirror, I find my appearance strange and shrug my shoulders...again what kind of person is ok with this?!

As I leave I see two troll guards, who are apparently Elite guards.  I can walk past them or climb a tree and jump over the wall.

They do not loo particularly elite to me.

I decide as I have a fresh probably bleeding unicorn tattoo on my head to walk past.  Cant imagine they will want to mess with such a clear psychopath.  It does not work though and again I do not have a merchants pass so I can either give them all my gold and get kicked out of the city or spend a year in jail.  I give them the gold apart from 1 that I hide and I am literally kicked in the ass out of the north gate.  

It is here I get asked if I have everything I need but I am missing the hags hair.  I am told it is too dangerous to go back to Port Blacksand so I must journey back to Silverton and report my failure.  My adventure is over.

Wait a minute, I just got a bloody tattoo of a bloody unicorn in a sun on my forehead and my character gives up like that!!!??  I have black perils, lotus flower, a silver arrow!  Lets go back to Silverton, tell Owen the plan and get some help.  Their must be hags in other locations than Port Blacksand!  I like to think of the adventure myself, Owen and a band from Silverton go on.  Getting the last ingredient and then going on to defeat Zanbar Bone.  Hopefully I use the reward money on laser surgery to remove the tattoo.  

Notable Moments - 

You mean more notable than getting a unicorn tattoo on your forehead?  Lets have a look. 

If I could had started my adventure going up Market Street I would have come across the Spotted Dog Inn.  Now my friend has a shed converted into a pub in his back garden also called the spotted dog but this on appears nothing like it.  Certainly sounds friendly but you go in and its not the most welcoming.

This is a local pub for local people.

What I really liked was the sheer amount of options in here.  Not being served by the barman who summons a troll bouncer to throw you out.  Playing a game of chance with Dwarfs, playing a game of don't stab yourself or even getting into a fight with some goblins.  It is very atmospheric and varied.

One of the more bizarre encounters is when you hear a commotion and decide to go into a house to investigate and find these two.

Erm ok.

They are two old women who dress and act like children.  They are fighting over toys to torture.   You do not really interact much with them other than drinking their foul tasting soup.  I just want to know what was going through Ian's mind when he came up with this idea.

But my favorite encounter that I missed is this one - 

Love the score boards in the background.

So you come across a small stadium and climb in to find a bunch of creatures called Bays playing a game.  The game is called.....wait for it...... Bays Ball.  Yep turns out Ian likes baseball and managed to get it into a gamebook.  You basically hit a home run and are mobbed as a hero or miss and get mobbed by an erm, angry mob.  Its a shame as might have been able to do a bit more here.  Funnily enough Games Workshop would end up making a game based on a fantasy version of an American sport.

Blood Bowl is my all time favorite game.

Artwork - 

So Iain McCaig is doing the internal illustrations for the first time.  And he is making writing a comedy blog very hard.  The reason for this?  Well just look at the art in the playthrough.  Its fantastic.  If you have read the previous posts you will know that I hate a blank or poor background.  Well finally we have detailed backgrounds and they are fantastic.  From as soon as you arrive in Port Blacksand and see all the madness in the background it really immerses you in it.  And do not take away the fact that the main picture also looks great.  Its Fighting Fantasy at its very best here.

The Serpent Queen, a mix of Princess Leia and a Snake!

In the bottom left of the beggar  picture there is a discarded copy of white dwarf!

Look at the detail of the Man-Orcs shop!

The Silversmith before he swallows his key when you attack him.

I told you when I found the garlic there would be a vampire.

When you look at the previous entries then this art is just in another league.  Especially coming straight off the heels of Starship Traveller.  I can only assume Ian blew the art budget on his book leaving Steve to have to get the local primary school to do the artwork for his boom.  

I do like Russ Nicholson's art but a lot of the time its too empty.  Just compare the Giant rats from warlock to the Giant rats in City of Thieves - 

Only one winner I am afraid.

The Big Bad -

Ok I may have thought his name was Zanzibar Bone when I was younger so I got a bit of a shock to find its actually Zanbar.  So the build up of his threat is pretty good but to be honest when I was running around Port Blacksand I kind of forgot about him.  But once you are thrown out you move to his tower as the final location.  The best part I liked about his tower is that unlike your typical bad guy he is not at the top!  You can go right past him, all the way to the roof before having to go back down to his location.  When you do find him, he is tough.  For a start he is disguised as a cat, yep really.  Unless you pick up another item in the tower you do not see this illusion and you are dead.  If you do get past this and he is revealed bet hope your luck is still high as you need to pass a luck test to make the shot with the silver arrow.  And then when you apply the paste you have a 33.33% chance of having the right combination.  There is a 2/3rd chance that you have the wrong combo at which point you die.  There is no way to engage him in hand to hand combat so even skill 12 killing machine heroes will have no advantage here.  Its a very tough final boss but it is possible.

He is upset about being Skeletor's less famous brother.

Actually we should take inspiration from - Grumpy Skeletor and have a parody FF account of some kind.

Menagerie - 

As you would expect there are a quite a few encounters with thieves, gangs and vagabonds.  But although most encounters are human related there still feels like quite a variety of enemies.  The city guards Sournose and Fatbelly are particularly tough and interesting.  If you go down a sewer to find a hag you can come across a giant centipede.  The Hag herself can be pretty tough.  I particularly like when you are in the rich persons house that they set a Fire Imp after you.  You can pretty much get into a fight with most shopkeepers.  Ian introduces a Man-Orc which shows a more cross breeding after the Gark appeared in Citadel of Chaos.  The serpent queen though is a bizarre combination but it show even this early they are trying to think of new monsters to encounter. 

It feels more natural having these creatures all in this city as it is described as a wretched place.  But as soon as we move to Zanbar's tower everything changes to an undead theme, eg.  Vampie, Zombies, Skeletons so it is thematic.   I just found it a bit jarring after Port Blacksand.  You do have to fight two moon dogs though that you can not avoid just outside the tower.  A skill 9 and skill 10 so I doubt I would have been able to win this battle.  This means you need a high skill score to get to Zanbar.  If things like the chainmail gave you +2 attack rather than +2 skill then a low skill hero would have a chance but the rules do not read that way.  Something that could easily be changed in later editions.

Entertaining Deaths - 

When you are trying to avoid Sournose you can elect to climb up a tree onto the city walls.  This can led to twenty guards appearing and arresting you.  After being taken to the dungeons, Sourbelly and Fatnose beat you up a bit and then sentence you to five years!

But what better is if you try and jump off the wall, where you land badly and break your neck.  Adventure over.  

But the award has to go to this one.  After you arrive at Zanbar's tower (either as a guest or you broke in) you find a bedroom where you get the option to have a sleep.  Unsurprisingly this will result in some poison gas being released from the bed during the night and you are added to Zanbar's undead army.  I mean who gets to the big bads lair and then decides, well you know what, I sleep in a strange bed in a strange room of the person I am going to kill is just what I need right now?

Pete's Corner - 

Don't eat the Hags Stew, Because I am in it.

Pete's head, like so many others, is now staked outside Port Blacksand

Final Thoughts - 

Right let me get the negativity out of the way.  First their is a street called Candle Street, but the candlemaker shop is in Clogg Street?  What the hell!?

My main gripe is how my adventurer ended, because in the very next paragraph Nicodemus sends you a letter which says he has got the ingredients wrong and you only need two!  I had two!   It should have given you the option that if you had two you make that type of potion.  Ok I did not have the correct ones but it would have been nice to be able to keep going.  

Also sometimes in Port Blacksand you get the option to backtrack, which is great and much needed but crucially as I went up tower street I could not backtrack to the part of stable street that led to the sewer so there is a crucial 50/50 decision choice.  And a strange decision to have yet another required item in the tower itself.

These gripes aside, I really enjoyed this book.  The atmosphere that is generated in the writing and the artwork really comes through.  Port Blacksand and the city setting really works well.  Even from the start with the longer background setting, you really feel you are in a story.  I loved the Moondogs keeping you awake as you try and sleep in the inn.  Then reaching and exploring Port Blacksand is great.  You really feel you are in claustrophobic and dangerous city with plenty of varied encounters.

And oh man that artwork, it really is inspired and shows what a difference it can make to the story.  I am hoping Ian McCaig is on pen duty more during this series.  

Easily the best one of the series so far.

Score - 8 out of 10

 

Starship Traveller

Background - 

So only book four and Steve Jackson is pushing the envelope again and going for a Sci-Fi theme.  I have to admit I really never enjoyed the Sci-Fi ones quite as much.  Its called Fighting Fantasy for a reason.  So I have never played Starship Traveller before.  Reading why Steve moved to a Sci-Fi setting he says he just liked to innovate.  But I think I can deduce the real reason.  Picture Steve and Ian reviewing the success of their first individual game books....

Ian "So Steve we need to do two more books, I am thinking of what to do next."

Steve mumbling "Think your so clever don't you"

Ian "What's that?"

Steve "Nothing"

Ian "No go on, somethings obviously up, what is it?"

Steve "Well I introduced a magic system in Citadel but you had to one up me by setting your adventure in Forest of Doom outdoors.  You are always trying to show me up."

Ian "What do you mean?"

Steve "Well like the time I went backpacking in Nepal, then you went off to backpack in Thailand.  You had never heard of backpacking before then!"

Ian "I'm sorry Steve I never knew you felt so strongly about this.  Listen you can pick the next setting first."

Steve "Oh you would like that wouldn't you, I will pick something first and you will just do something better!  No, you pick first!"

Ian "Ok then, well I was thinking of a city!"

Steve "A city, haha well I see your city and I raise you!  I raise you a planet!  No, multiple planets a whole galaxy!"

Ian "Now come on Steve be sensible"

Steve runs off slamming the door behind him "Mwhahahahahah"

Ian just sits their shaking his head before starting on city of thieves.

Steve sits down at his writing desk "Crap"

Covers - 

The original cover is ok.  It features the manslayer robot doing what it does best, slaying some men.  One guy is already down and the other guy is about to get choke slammed.  Not sure what's going on the bottom left hand corner.  The guy is obviously knocked down but looks like he is trying to tackle his friend to the ground in a moment of if I am going down so are you.

By gawwwd he choke slammed him straight to hell!

They obviously liked it though as when it came to slapping the green zigzag or the gold dragon on the reprints they kept the original cover.

Wizard however would redo the cover.  So in this one the arena does look better and you can see the aliens' watching in the foreground to make it more spacey!  The Robot though, sigh.  It looks more like a giant Cylon from Battlestar Galactica.  Definitely a downgrade from the original.  Like going from using Windows 10 back to Windows 95.  I do like the humans trying to do a Star Wars style rope around the AT-ATs legs though.  Managed to get two Sci Fi franchises in one cover!

In good news though the US cover is back and it does not disappoint.  These amuse me so much ill be sad when they stop.  This one has ripped off another sci-fi franchise, Lost in Space.  Even with their version of the robot they had.  Just to make it beyond any doubt you are in space the people are wearing spacesuits with bubble helmets.  The aliens though look like they are straight out of a fantasy gamebook.  But to be fair in the background is the titular spaceship!  Spoiler this is as good as it ever gets to look.

Premise - 

Well this book does not have a background section.  All you get is that you are the captain of the Starship Traveller, pride of the Astro Navy (Nothing like Starfleet).  Then it goes into a bunch of rules.  You are then told you are about to be flung through a black hole into unknown space and the only hope of return is to find a similar black hole.  I am not convinced that's how black holes work but until anyone goes into one I guess I can let it fly.

Playthrough - 

Ok this setup is very different to the previous books.  I need to roll up stats for my ship and crew as well as me!

Starship Traveller -  Weapons - 12 Shields - 15

Wow the starship really is the pride of the Astro Navy!  With a maximum Weapons score I know if diplomacy fails we will be able to blast any Klingons out of the sky.

Captain (Me) - Skill - 12 Stamina - 20

Great stats for me, I am glad that unlike most companies the cream has risen to the top of the Astro Navy.   (Honestly I had a whole thing planned about being incompetent compared to my crew so it was just like real life management).  

Science Officer - Skill - 10 Stamina - 17

So my science officer is the go to guy for computers, I think I need to personalise them a bit so I will give everyone names.  Although just like the book ill change them just enough to not be sued by the Roddenberry estate.  So the science officer will be called Splock.

Medical Officer - Skill - 8 Stamina - 19

Well better not get into any scrapes as our doctor is not the best.  More like your local GP level rather than the cream of the Astro Navy.  Dr Walkers is his name.  Affectionately known though by his friends as Skins.  Splock and Skins do not get on.

Engineering Officer - Skill - 8 Stamina - 19

It does not tell me what the Engineering officer is good for.  With Skill 8 though he will be left on the ship more often than not.  His name is Hamish as everyone knows you need a Scottish engineer.  But no he is not ginger!  (I'm Scottish so I can say these things). 

Security Officer - Skill - 8 Stamina - 18

Lieutenant Wharf is our security officer.  His job is to help me in the actual fighting if it comes to that.  Although with Skill 8 ill probably be left to do most of it.

Security Guard 1 - Skill - 12 Stamina - 22       Security Guard 2 - Skill - 7 Stamina - 19

You get a couple of security guards as well!  Everyone knows though that Red Shirts do not get names so they will be Red Shirt 1 and Red Shirt 2.  It appears Red Shirt 1 is actually the most competent person on board.  How he has not risen to the ranks of the security officer rank I have no idea.  I can only imagine its office politics.  Red shirt 2 though is useless.  He clearly has got the job through nepotism with Lieutenant Wharf.  If we ever make it back home I will make a point of speaking to the Admiral about this.

Luck - 12

Well we are a very lucky crew by the looks of it.  Apart from being sucked into a black hole.  Interestingly the notes describe luck as an act of god or even the force!  George Lucas IP lawyers at the ready.

So before we can begin we have some extra rules as well.  If the science, medical or engineering officer get in a fight then they have a minus three penalty to skill scores.  We also have a beaming down to planets section where we have to pick an away team basically.  Here I am told that Splock is a problem solver, Skins is a doctor, Hamish understands mechanics and geology and the rest are fighters.

Every time we beam back on board we get to regain two stamina points providing my medical officer is still alive.  If any of my team die then their assistants are promoted in their place.  They have -2 skill compared to their mentor though. 

Well not the best crew in the world but I will hopefully carry them through with my brilliance.  Time to go where no geek with a book, two dice and a pen have gone before.

So something is wrong with the engines and we are going to crash into the Seltsian Void, a black hole.  We decide on a plan of using the gravity to slingshot away.  It appears to work and everyone starts to celebrate.  Not me though.  You don't get to skill 12 by not seeing things through to the end.  We get sucked in and everyone loses consciousness.  Splock says we are now in a region of uncharted space.  Eventually the warp drives come back on and I get to make my first choice.  Three star systems, two life bearing, one no life signs.  So its basically left, right or straight ahead.

This is apparently the moment you get sucked into the black hole.  Background done by unknown seven year old child.

We go straight on and arrive at blue planet.  Scanners show the main population centre is a city on an island and I pick my first away team.  I decide to take Splock, Hamish and Skins.  My theory is if we get in a fight I will take care of it myself.  We beam down onto a large road and get the options to visit a large building investigate the smaller ones or keep going down the road.

The illustration for my choice.   Not much help.  

I decide to go and visit the big building.  Apparently this door markings mean its clearly a building of importance.  I have no idea how I could possible come to that conclusion.  We go in and its full of a mis mash of aliens and when I ask to be taken to someone in charge I am told no one is and instead get a tour of the place.  We are told there are no laws and anyone can do anything they want.  Me being the sarcastic kind of captain point out then why do you need guards then?  I am told that they are people who like fighting people and they dress up as guards to let others know to be careful.  Of course three of these guards jump us.  It was here that I realised I had made quite a mistake with my away team.  You see instead of everyone lining up to fight me one on one it descended into a mass brawl and my team got beat up bad as they waited for me to finish fighting whomever I was dealing with.  Nobody died but Splock was down to 7 stamina and both Hamish and Skins were down to 11.  Even I took a few hits!

After the fight we go to the map room, we look at some start charts and learn about the planet Trax but nothing useful.  We beam back up and all head to sick bay.

Now I head to the next world, no sign of life but the world is covered in canals and roads.  Do you want to beam down?  Of course I do.  I head down with red shirt 1 and my engineering officer.  

When we get down everything looks advanced but covered it dust.  Very suspicious.  Then this guy show up.

Hello good sir can you help us get home?

As we exchange pleasantries all of a sudden he is shot down, by one of my own team as well.  He claimed the alien had a weapon and was about to attack me.  Neither myself or other crew mate had seen this.  Something was up.  I beam the alien back up to the ship to try and help him.  But he never makes it.  The strangeness keep ramping up as we are attacked by some machine guns.  We all hit the deck but no one else can see the bullets.  They think I am crazy and we move on.  We enter a building and despite being an alien planet in another universe I am able to work the computer.  Looking for history I find nothing but luckily red shirt 1 finds some information of a black hole in sector 288!  Delighted we decide to beam back up and I am non the wiser on the strangeness of this planet.

I decide to next head to toward the purple star but on the way I get a call from the language lab.  Wait a language lab?  We really are fully kitted out.  Anyway I picked up a newspaper on the last planet and they were able to decode it.  Turns out their was a cold war between two factions and they developed a hallucinatory drug that was deemed so dangerous they decided to fire it into space.  But the rocket blew up and covered the planet in the drug.  Explains all the crazy that happened.

Near the purple sun we find another planet with life.  I can beam down with one security guard (mmm let me think which one for a second) and one other person.  I am told it looks to be a civilization more advanced than our own.  Because of that I decide to take Splock.  Again the world is pretty empty with advanced looking buildings.  A hover car appears to come towards us but a lizard alien appears from one of the buildings and tells us to come over quick.  Its at this point I realise we have a translator which lets me understand the aliens.  Pretty good tech that can translate an alien language that's never been encountered into english for me.

What a choice.  I think Ill go with my new insect friend.  Although always wanted a hover car.

Turns out we are on Cuemater where no one dies and we just escaped from the population controllers (PCs).  Nobody dies so they have to cull the population and as we were outside during curfew they would have killed us.  Well they smash down the door and fry my insect friend and tell us to follow them outside.  I get the option for phaser combat but when I read the rules it sounds if you miss then they get a chance to one shot kill you.  I decide to pretend to comply and jump them, now that I have the walking army that is red shirt 1 with me.  It does not go well as instead of combat we are overpowered.  But we do remove the helmet from one of the PC's in the scuffle and he stops dead until someone else puts the helmet back on.   I am told this gives me a -2 skill test bonus later on with this knowledge.

We are taken back to a building and thrown in jail.  We get a few escape options.  I elect to contact the ship so they can just beam us straight out.  In bad news the signal is jammed.  In good news it stops the PCs in their tracks.  They cant move.  Instead of just leaving the comms on and escaping I am told we might use it later.  We are taken to a room where I am asked if I have my science officer or if I have used my communicator.  I have both so no idea which one I have to pick.  I decide to go with the communicator option and again they all freeze.  We run around and find their comms room.  After just hammering all the buttons we get through to the Traveller and they beam us back up.  Not before we remove a helmet and find its a world of androids!  The helmet gives me +1 skill and I start sulking about initial skill.  This is when I realise there is no initial skill here.  A quick flick through the rules and nothing about it!  Excellent Skill 13 it is for me.  

Next planet along and we beam down.  Red Shirt 1, Splock and Hamish.  We are greeted by some spear wielding primitives. 

 

Have I arrived at Firetop Mountain?

So I wait for them to come up and they take me to the village Eldar.  There I ask about the planet which is called Cliba.  They are around middle age earth in development but its been raining for a long time and the crops have sickened.  Sounds like Aberdeen so I should be right at home here.  Anyway they think they are being punished by a man called the rain lord who lives in a castle so we offer to pay him a visit.  We walk up to talk to the guard and I am immediately captured and take to the rain lord.  Who lives in the middle of a giant computer!

I've been expecting you Mr Bond.

Turns out his name is Bran-Sel and he settled here after a deal for planet control system went wrong.  The locals see him as some kind of god and he has been controlling the weather to help them.  Alas the system has broke and now its torrential rain every day.  No problem as Splock is with us and he has a look at the kit and one very close skill roll later he has fixed the problem.  In thanks he allows us to use the computer which tells us to approach any black hole at warp speed 3!

Back on board and everyone is back to full strength.  Which is just as well as I have only been in one combat so far.  Next we make it to a small grey planet.  No life signs but something is going on.  So we beam down and find a crashed ship.

I've got a bad feeling about this.

They find nothing, which was very anti-climatic.  But as the landing party return I am told 3 people in engineering have died suddenly.  They were all involved docking the ship that has returned.  So I quarantine the crew but people still die, luckily not Hamish!  Splock figures it out that we need to shut down engineering and it works.  Now I get the choice to ask the medical officer to find a cure or pump out the air.  Looking at Dr Walkers medical skill score and its not great so we go with the air plan.  It works!

I then head over to a red planet.  On the comms they introduce themselves as the planet Dar-Vil.  They look aggressive but I decide to go down anyway.  So me, Splock and Red Shirt #1 head down.  

And don't know what I said to them but they do not look happy.

So in what appears to be utter incompetency I have been beamed into one of the Dar-Vil guards and now our bodies are merged.  We head back to the ship to find out how to separate us.  I ask Splock for ideas and pass the skill test.  But the paragraph reads like I failed it.  So I look back to see the result of failing and its a success.  Terrible editing there.  So I decide to ask the Dar-Vil commander who speaks to his experts.  We decide to try a simultaneous beaming and it works.  And with that we say well done and goodbye.

Next we arrive at a space port but get a warning message not to dock so I don't and head along to the next planet.  We make contact in orbit and they tell me its a mining planet but we are welcome to beam down and enjoy the games that are on just now.  Alas we do not quite catch the coordinates, and despite being a super advanced starship we do not have the ability to listen back and its a 50/50 guess.

By this stage my away team is pretty standard.  Me, Splock and red shirt #1.  We meet our contact but he has to rush away.  Eventually a robot appeared and asked us to follow it.  I said no thanks and it zapped us.  We wake up in a cell and I get the chance to explain what's happened to the guard.  So again I pass the test and I get the failed paragraph so I flip back and go to the failed paragraph and its one for passing.  This is really poor editing.  So I take the option since I passed the test.  The guard calls our contact and he says yes its all true.  He appears and apologises for the misunderstanding, he invites us to stay and watch the games.  Not wanting to leave empty handed I agree and we are taken... straight into the gladiatorial pit to fight the manslayer robot.  Sigh.  The Robot is skill 10 and can fight all three of us at once.  That's ok me and Red Shirt #1 have got this, except we don't and it hit us all before I get a hit in.  Its then I'm told the stamina 4 is not as bad as it looks as after a hit i must then roll a 5 or 6 to take 1 point of stamina off.  

What follows is the longest battle I have ever had.  As we constantly pound on the robot, can I roll a 5 or 6.  Nope.  It must have been very boring for everyone to watch but eventually I assume the robot runs out of fuel and just gives up as i manage to roll four 5 or 6s.  

As a reward we get to go to the astronomical headquarters and they tell us the black hole we need is in sector 083.  So it was worth that huge battle.
 

Next we arrive at a small grey planet, scanning shows no sign of life so I decide to press on.  The next planet does show signs of life so I beam down again.  This time taking Hamish as Splock is a bit hurt.  

We are floating in the sky, but this civilization has clearly not heard of HSE, where are the safety rails?!

I am led away by one of the children and discover they are in charge.  They are hyper intelligent from birth but as they grow older they become senile.  I ask for help getting home and a bargain is struck.  There help for access to technical information of the starship.   I agree and get told that we need to go through the black hole on stardate 21.  Nothing bad seems to happen when they come aboard to look at the ship so hopefully I did the right thing.

At this point the crew decide we have been at this long enough and its time to go home.  The book asks if I have the information needed, I have no idea.  But I know if I say no the crew will revolt.  I have some information so I will give it a go.  I have to subtract the time information from the location.  Hmm I have to locations - 288 and 83 and one time information 21.  So much for warp speed.  I go for 83 as it seemed a better bet and more hard won information.  We find a black hole, but its not the right one and we never make it through, failure and death.

Notable Moments -

Each of the planets act as a mini adventure.  Some very mini.  But I did enjoy some of the takes on civilization theory I came across.  The world where no one is charge and you can do anything you want sounds great in theory but it does not work.  Culematter with their population control and run by androids is interesting and I liked the feral world with the out of control rain where the rain master was some kind of Wizard of Oz figure.

Some I missed through are work a mention though.  You can run into the Ganzig federation ships a couple of times which can go multiple ways, from space combat to diplomacy.  There are a couple of space stations, one bigger than the other.  You can even go to the space pub in one of them and get into a brawl.

Starship Travellers version of the M8 services.  

There is also a planet which seems friendly but it is being torn apart by a star so they try and trick you into giving up your ship.  How do they do this?  By cloning you!  

Do not trust this lady.

Not everything happens on planets and star systems though.  The virus that rips through your ship is well done and so is an incident when one of your crew goes mad and you have to deal it.

Artwork - 

So illustrator is Peter Andrew Jones who also did the cover which I do like.  I hate to say this though but this has to be some of the worst art I have seen.  I always remember the art really helping tell the story when I was a kid, those were my favorite parts.  However in Sci-Fi its even more important as you can imagine most fantasy but alien worlds need to be well illustrated to help us see what the author means.

The art in my playthrough is probably the best of the lot.  That first page art to start the adventure, my god, space is drawn by just pen circles!

Look at it!!!  I hope the did not pay much for this.

A lot of it you have no idea what going on.  Don't believe me?  Let play a game.

Is this - 

A)  An alien insect in its natural habitat

B)  A welcome ritual from an alien species

C)  One of your own crew randomly deciding to drink some alien planet water

Is this - 

A)  Inside a black hole

B)  A detailed rendering of a jungle planet

C)  Something has spilled over the original picture

Is this -

A)  An interdimensional version of Zagor's maze

B)  A teleporter 

C)  What happens when you eat strange space plants and start losing your mind

 

Is this - 

A)  Flying space aliens

B)  A game of space snooker

C)  The Starship Traveller flying into a meteor shower

What is happening here, is it - 

A)  An intergalactic disco

B)  A game of space twister

C)  Your crew trying to stop another crew member who is going a bit crazy

OK last one I promise, is this - 

A)  A spaceship of some kind

B)  A random assailant shooting at you, missing and hitting a wall

C)  An exploding erm, i don't know I am out of ideas and cant even figure out what I am looking at

There is no way to say this nicely but the art is really, really bad.  I still think I lucked out on my playthrough where I got the best of the art.  Still not great but better than some of this.  I just find it really disappointing as it really adds nothing to the gamebook.

Looking through to find something decent I might have missed and all I have got is this - 

The service robot actually looks good.  Background is nothing but that is the least of our worries this time.

The Big Bad -

Oh dear, only four books in and the format is under threat.  two books in a row without a big bad.  The journey home is just that, searching for help.  Nobody is trying to stop you.  Maybe if the Ganzig federation were more fleshed out.  Maybe the black hole which threw you into this galaxy instead.  Maybe it could be the terrible art.  Anyway I might have to revise this section if this continues.

Menagerie -  

With a new universe and multiple planets the options for new enemy encounters was huge.  But, its a bit sparse.  There are Squinn's on the jungle planet which sound very strange and would have been great for an illustration.  There is a fight between an Eagle and a Ganzigite as well.  So the only battle of note is with the Manslayer robot which is a bit different with having to roll a 5 or 6 to make your hits count.  I can see why he is on the cover as not much else going.

Looking through all the encounters most are Guards of various shapes and forms, or the aliens you meet and you take more violent options when dealing with them.  So many guards!  This is a massive missed opportunity but to be fair maybe combat was only secondary to Steve Jackson for this one.  You can win this gamebook without fighting anyone.  Shame I had to roll stats for three security personnel for fighting! 

Entertaining Deaths - 

Hands down the best one is the fantastic decision to beam down to a world of pure water, where you promptly drown.  Even better its got an illustration -

And its as absurd as the death.

I cant remember an instant death having an illustration before!  Other good ones are if I had picked the wrong option when I was trapped in a body of the Dar-Villian I would have been turned into pure energy.  You can also get strangled to death by plants on the jungle planet when trying to find food for the crew.  Or you can be trapped on a world with your entire crew that will be destroyed in a year.  Most of the time though you go into the wrong black hole like I did.

Pete's Corner - 

Don't trust aliens!  Or land on their planets!

Final Thoughts - 

Well where do I start?  After so much potential it ended up more like this - 

Which pretty much summed up the book as a whole.  I was really excited to start with, rolling up stats for a ship and entire crew, visiting different planets.  But after a while it just kind of goes a bit flat.  Lets start with the big problem.  This book is only 340 paragraphs long, as opposed to the normal 400.  I could forgive this if it was because the paragraphs had more detail in them, especially to help describe unique aliens and the environments.  But that is not the case.  Add to that another wasted 20 or so paragraphs on a terrible maze and you have 80 paragraphs missing that could have been used to flesh out the planets and the stories and make more unique aliens and encounters.

You see there are a lot of good ideas.  I really like a lot of the ideas for each planet but before it can develop the adventure is over and you are back on the ship.  It a shame as developing some of these into larger stories would really have gone a long way to improving the overall experience.

When it came to all the stats I initially thought this was great.  But it did not really pan out that way.  The ship stats I never used and looking through the book their is hardly any ship to ship combat, which is a shame.  I did not have one luck roll either.  Then we come to the crew.  At first I thought this was great but it didn't really work out.  It can lead to some absurd situations where your head of security is worse in a fight than the doctor.  It was a good idea but did not work.  What would have been better is to have a predefined crew.  That way you could have developed more of their characters and also made the part of choosing who to beam down with more interesting.  As it was I just went with who had the most skill rather than who would be most useful.

Another problem of course is the awful art.  It just adds nothing to the adventure.  And if you make it home you get rewarded with this - 

Space background provided by class year 2

Just terrible.  And the end setup as well, basically your crew start despairing of ever getting home and as such start commiting suicide!  So they force you to go through any black hole.  I feel a good captain would keep everyone in check by saying look we have only been here a few weeks tops and look at all the data we already have!  Give me a few more weeks to check the rest of the planets and then we can be 100% sure of getting home.  Rather than just blindly flying into a black hole!  Idiots.  This could have been sorted by saying they were out of food or something like that.

 

Ian (knocks on door and enters cautiously) - "Hey buddy how is it going?"

Steve (frantically hiding the sorcery spellbook) - "Good thanks, great in fact."

Ian "I must admit I thought it was impossible to do a universe in 400 paragraphs."

Steve "What do you mean?"

Ian "Well its just so limiting, I mean we could just about fit in a castle."

Steve "Actually its going to have space ship combat, lots of planets, and a whole crew to control!"

Ian "And you managed that in 400 paragraphs?"

Steve "Easy!  And in fact to make it more of a challenge, I will do it in 340!"

Ian (Slowly backing out and closing the door)  "Ok, ok, ill leave you to it."

Steve (Shouting) "Ill even put in a maze! Mwhhahah"  Jots down note saying crew are despairing, fly through black hole now before discarding it and going back to writing Sorcery.

Oh that bloody maze, its such a waste of space and the worst part, its crucial.  You need to get there to get a vital coordinate and its got a 50/50 chance of instant death.  Its pretty unmappable as well, unless its 3D but I couldn't do it.

Anyway I think Starship Traveller can be summed up as untapped potential.  I feel if this was rewritten it could really be something but as it stands its a series of great ideas that have not been quite realised. 

Score - 3 out of 10